|Reviews for As I Fall|
| dragonlady222 chapter 40 . 1/8/2014
Poor Bakura. I wonder why he always feels the need to run. He and Yami really need to talk. Otogi and Kaiba need their asses kicked. I hope that Shizuka can convince Bakura that he needs to stay. Where the heck is Jounouchi? Mai is a scheming bitch.
| Orochi-Dragon14 chapter 40 . 1/8/2014
First of all...AHHHHHH OMFR A;FKAFKASLFKASFASF YOU UPDATED EARLY! *squeeeee! Two of my favourite stories were updated yesterday! I had a crazy day yesterday that got me in a bit of a bitch fit, but then this and another story was updated and I died of happiness!
Alright, sorry about that lol. I get a little too carried away when I read my favourite stories and such. Since I know I'm going to give you a review that goes beyond the limit, I'm going to review on here until the limit and then I'll send you the rest in a PM. I'm still pissed about what happened last time! It cut me off at the best parts! Ugh! Anyways, again thank you for the dedication! Now onto the review (the first half lol)
Oh we're starting with Mai this time? Well, we haven't seen her in a while and I can see she's still up to her dirty tricks. I hate the way she treats Charlotte. You can tell Charlotte is very timid, but very opinionated. She's crossed Mai several times, but still blurts out things every now and then. I can't blame her for being all unnerved when people are passing by the limo tapping on the glass trying to get a peek to see if Jou's in there or not. I have very high anxiety and paranoia so I definitely understand her fears.
Oh I knew that was Shizuka coming out of High-Rise. Shit, and there goes Mai on the attack...poor Charlotte getting kicked out. Of course Shizuka would run over to Mai. They had a bond back in Battle City and became good friends. She looks to her as a role model and doesn't have a clue she's plotting such evilness!
HA! I KNEW it! I knew it! I knew it! Shizuka KNOWS her brother is with Bakura! I loved how she's been playing the part of "naive, clueless girl" all this time! She's more observant than people think she is. Oh fuck! NOOOOO! Mai wouldn't do that! Ugh! She's gotten really low! Using Shizuka as a way to get Jou away from Bakura! She can't stand that her "puppy" has fallen in love with someone else-someone who was their enemy for so long. She can't stand that she means nothing but a friend to him. So she's going to use Shizuka to bring her brother into her arms to trap him again! She doesn't care that her "friend" is madly and deeply in love. All she cares about is getting him back with her-fawning over her. I'm worried Shizuka isn't going to see past these lies...and concerning Mai's using Honda for her scheme...it might just work. Then again, I think Shizuka knows Jou is happy with Bakura. I can't wait to see how this plays out.
And now onto Yami's POV! Alright split up past and present! I just love how you do that! Two epic stories for the price of one! :D. Anyways, I feel so bad for both Atem and Bakura. Atem wants Bakura to stay and be under his protection because he fears something like what happened between Bakura and Malik when Shadow Ghoul ripped off his face will happen again. Bakura can't stand being in the palace, hidden and pampered like some poodle. I can see where both of them are coming from. I wouldn't want my lover to be out in the wilderness with a high chance of dying and I never seeing them again, but at the same time, Bakura is trapped and he needs to get out. I think even if he wasn't a secret he'd still want to get out of the palace. His home is in the desert. Atem can't understand that. He thinks it him. Atem has all these powers, thanks to the Puzzle and he thinks Bakura is powerless. He thinks Bakura can't defend himself or protect him from the dangers lying in wait.
I feel that scene from the earlier chapters when Atem says: "I have a proposition" is coming up. I feel it! And I'm dying to read that chapter because it's going to be epic! Anyways, so Bakura has decided to stay the night and gather things for his 'journey'. I know he doesn't like that too much, but I guess he's doing that to ease his lover's anxiety.
Oh I know they missed that! Touching each other. And just when they're getting in the heat of the moment, Atem touches Bakura's scar and flinches away. This, in turn, upsets Bakura. Who can blame him? She's scared for life and his lover flinches at the very thought of it. Atem doesn't mean it, but looking at it from Bakura's POV-being feared by everyone on how he looks-I can't really blame him for getting upset like that.
And now the argument about power. I have a feeling Atem won't know Bakura has powers until it's too late. And, I feel that the vision Isis saw a few chapters back where she said that the beast she saw wasn't Blue-eyes is in fact Diabound. The animals know danger is approaching. I think they're sensing the arrival of Diabound. Of course, Bakura wouldn't know this. He doesn't know his life is going to do a turn for the worst...Atem does need to do something about Seth, but he knows how his cousin is. Bakura doesn't want to take any chances with it. Poor Bakura..he feels so helpless and trapped in his 'dungeon of love'.
And now onto Yami's present POV! Yeah wouldn't that be useful Yami? Having one of the Millennium Items alter the past, but that'd be much too easy. There's a reason things happen. It helps us learn from them. Some things I wish I could change about my past...save my mom...but I can't and Yami can't change his either. Sad fact of life...
I can't imagine how Yami must feel. He's a person now and he still has all this weight on his shoulders, all this pain from the past. The past is repeating itself in a different way and the only person that can truly stop it is Bakura. But that would also result in Bakura being miserable again...not that he's happy, but he's happier with Jou at least.
Now, I'm a bit confused on something. Last chapter Yugi said the Puzzle and the Key were gone, but in this chapter Yami doesn't have any of the Items and Otogi was able to find him. And, of course, he starts his shit again. I'm not surprised Yami snapped on him. But Otogi isn't afraid of him. Without the Puzzle Yami is no threat to him. I wonder where Yami wants to go. Hmm...well, I guess he's back in Otogi's clutches again...poor Yami. He just wants to peace and he can never get any.
Bakura's POV now yay! Have I ever told you how I love that you do multiple POVs? I do that too! It's so much fun isn't it?! Anyways, we start in the present times with Bakura. He's worried about Jou, you can tell he is, he just doesn't want to admit to it. He wants Ryou out of his life. I think the time they spent apart did wonders for both of them, but at the same time it distance them even more...
Now to the past...oh man! I knew that was going to happen! Kamewait died! *cries* He was scared of Bakura so that's why he acted that way. Diabound isn't a creature to be taken lightly. I mean he DID defeat Slifer and Obelisk in the cannon! I'd be scared too if I were that horse. Bakura could have died from that fear's reaction and Diabound took care of that. Now Bakura's truly alone...all he has is his Ka.
Now to Anzu's POV. I love how you do her. She's very concern for Yami's well-being and it seems like she believes she could have done something to help. But in reality, this isn't something friendship could solve alone. OH! So Yami left the Puzzle...alright I got confused sorry about that.
Ryou is definitely acting weird. I mean it makes sense since Bakura erased his mind. Anzu senses something's wrong and she questions Ryou on it. Of course, Ryou thinks everything's okay. He'll be in for a rude awakening when he snaps out of that spell. Well, I was wondering how the lights weren't working. Yugi fucked them up with the Ring! Now their on their way to find Yami...let's see how well that plays out.
And we end the chappie with Bakura's loveliness. He's taking this opportunity to leave. He feels he has to for both is sake and Jou's. He loves him, but the fact is they can't be together in Bakura's eyes because Yami will constantly be hoovering over them and society won't allow it. Then there's Mai...it's sad how Bakura has to give up Jou. He really cares for him.
YES! Another scene with Bakura and Shizuka! I love how they interact! Both of them are so in character! Bakura knows Shizuka knows he and Jou are together. Shizuka wants them to be together because she wants her brother to be happy, but I'm sure she's thinking of what Mai has said as well. She's not afraid of Bakura like everyone else. I think she's the type of person that sees beyond Bakura's usual demeanour. She sees that Bakura is in love with her brother despite the fear she has of him.
Bakura fears her as well. She doesn't react the way she's supposed to around him and that terrifies him because he can't use that to his advantage. Shizuka wants answers, and she's demanding them. She knows she can't stop Bakura from leaving, but I think she's making Bakura think more than he wants to about this situation...
Anyways,amazing chappie! I have no idea how much was posted, but we'll find out. If we dont' get a full review, I'll send you the rest in a PM! :D.
| SHADOWoftheFOX chapter 40 . 1/8/2014
I really liked the section written from Mai's perspective. Her descriptions of the scenes were fantastic. I especially liked the line: "She’s hanging onto my every word like a fish on a hook, except there’s no struggle, no frantic gasping for escape." It has wonderful imagery.
Anyway, I was shocked that Diabound killed the horse. I didn't consider that fact that Bakura would not be able to control it. This changes a lot of my predictions! But I still think it will be Atem/Yamis fault.
I really really like Shizuka in this story and am happy to see that Shizuka and Bakura are becoming BFFs! Yay!
I think its impressive you've kept working on this story for so long. (Happy 7th Birthday "As I Fall!") That's dedication right there!
As always, I'm looking forwards to the next chapter! I hope Jou is in it!
| dragonlady222 chapter 39 . 10/5/2013
Poor Ryou. Bakura is very angry and depressed. I hope Jounouchi is okay and will come back soon. Yugi needs to listen to what Yami is telling him and not Anzu. Yami is telling him that he is not a superhero to come to their rescue. He is human and has his own problems. It sounds like he betrayed Bakura at some point in the past and they became enemies. I think, Yami is just as depressed as Bakura but had a lot more support.
| SHADOWoftheFOX chapter 39 . 10/5/2013
Wow! That was a long, and awesome, chapter! Woot!
I liked the reaction Mahadoo had to finding out that Bakura is a tomb robber. Drama! It's like a very mess up ancient Egyptian soap opera (except with an all-male cast and monsters). And silly Yami, you shouldn't assume you can change Bakura! But I like how this is all slowly unraveling. The seeds have all been sown for the ultimate confrontation-breakup extravaganza! I predict that finding out about Malik will be the straw that breaks the camel's back - not finding out about Diabound.
Ryou's assumption about Bakura's conversation with Shizuka were so wrong I had to go back and skim through the last chapter to be sure I remembered it right! But I did! Anyway, I liked how Ryou and Bakura's relationship became so much more intense in this chapter. They are an odd pair.
I really hope Jounouchi comes back in the next chapter. *coughandfindsoutabouthisdadcough*
| Orochi-Dragon14 chapter 39 . 10/5/2013
Thank you for the wonderful dedication! Yeah I told one of my fans about your stories. They're just too damn awesome NOT to tell anyone about!
I loved how you started off in the past in Yami's POV. That has to be hard for Bakura lying on that hard bed and not being able to go back to Atem's bed chambers. Least Atem's with him though. I figured he'd be squeamish about Bakura's injury. I'm glad it's healing nicely though. Seni is amazing at what he does. It makes sense that Seni forbade Atem from discussing the situation with Bakura right now. He's very rash and he needs time to heal. I don't blame Bakura for getting angry about feeling like he's furniture. I'd be mad too!
I love how you go back and forth between the past and the present in this. I still can't comprehend why people skip over the past. I mean it's so GOOD! *huggles past story* I love how you did this scene from Kaiba's POV instead of Otogi's. We haven't seen it in a while and I thought it was very interesting. You do him so well! Kaiba can definitely see something's up...he's not sure what exactly but Otogi is acting weird...when Otogi said "He knows." and Kaiba goes: "WHAT?!" I died! He's always jumping to conclusions, of course those conclusions are usually correct, but Otogi hadn't specified WHO knew and WHAT they knew...oh I KNEW he'd blame Bakura! So he told Kaiba that Bakura eavesdropped on their conversations using the Ring...of course Otogi's not going to take the blow for telling Jou about what's going on. I wonder if Kaiba will ever find out. Yeah their plans are going to be hard to do now, but Kaiba and Otogi are clever and they'll figure out a way to bring Jou down..Kaiba will do anything and everything to make him suffer and be humiliated...I just hope nothing like that happens...but then again I kinda do because that's what makes things interesting.
Bakura's POV was amazing! I knew they were going to have an argument eventually. Bakura doesn't understand why Atem relies on gods to get him through life. He doesn't believe in such a thing. He believes you make your own choices. It's hard to be with someone with a different viewpoint especially when it's so different. And it makes so much sense why Bakura doesn't believe in them. All of his life he's been treated like a phantom and hurt because of it. He's heard that the gods are supposed to help, but they didn't and now Atem wants him to thank them for bringing him back to him? Yeah, like THAT'S going to happen. I can see where Atem's coming from though as well. He does believe in the gods and he thinks that they've been protecting Bakura and helping him on his journey back to him. So it makes so much sense they argued like that. Of course Atem would be the first to apologize. Bakura's not one too...it takes a lot for him to show his emotions.
I knew Bakura would blame Maahado for all of this. He doesn't realize that Atem is seeing that he has to grow up and take responsibility as pharaoh. He doesn't want to admit it, but he is worried about Malik and wonders where he is. Of course Malik was right about Kisara. He knows about things like Ka harvesting more than Bakura does. Bakura seems to feel guilty that he didn't believe him and got in that mess with Kisara...after he found out that she liked the sun he killed her...he had no choice. She was rambling on about 'Lord' Seth and how he's going to be Pharaoh...Bakura had to protect Atem from that happening...I feel sorry for Kisara that she had to die, but it had to be done.
So Bakura's walked in on Seni and Maahado discussing Blue-eyes. Yeah it makes sense why Blue-eyes isn't responding to Atem. Kisara gave it to Seth...it's not surprising that they're in shock by this. Most people wouldn't willingly hand over their ka to someone, especially to someone like Seth. I'm sure Kisara didn't realize that Seth was using her as a weapon to gain the throne from Atem. Too bad he's stripped of his high priest status and the Rod is in Atem's possession with Malik sealed away.
Poor Bakura. That wound has got to hurt. I love how you did it though. Bakura's not Bakura in the past without his scar. I knew Seni knew Bakura was eavesdropping on his and Maahado's conversation. It makes sense why Bakura's so concern about Blue-eyes not obeying Atem. Finding out that Seth is still alive had to make his skin crawl. He was hoping that the threat would be over, but now he knows better. Seni's right, Bakura has to be on guard and not get so cocky with his abilities. I'm glad Seni updates Bakura on what's going on. It's not fair for Bakura to be in the dark and treated like he's worthless. He wants to help and Seni is doing everything he can to help Bakura help Atem. Bakura and Seni have become great friends and Bakura can tell him just about anything. Of course Bakura hates palace life. He wants to be free and do as he pleases. He doesn't want to be coped up in a giant palace and treated like he's made of glass. It's understanding why he's so frustrated. He'll take the opportunity when he can to leave. Right now he can't because of his injury and because of Atem. He wants to stay and protect Atem, but they're drifting apart slowly. I'm glad he told Seni that he found Kisara...of course he couldn't mention Malik. Even though they're not friends anymore at this time he still cares about him and doesn't want anything to happen to him. I loved Seni's reaction when Bakura said: 'Lord Seth' he can't stand anyone who'd go against Atem...of course Bakura would clear that up as Kisara said that not him...
I LOVED Yami and Maahado's conversation in this chapter. I knew that was coming Maahado finding out that Bakura's a tomb robber. Of course Maahado is not please by this at all. He wants Atem to be happy, but he'd rather it be with someone else. Atem loves Bakura and he wants Maahado's help in stopping Bakura. I'm thinking this is the reason that Bakura and Atem turn on each other. This is just my theory: Atem and Bakura talk about Bakura's lifestyle and Atem tells Bakura that he has to give it up if he wishes to be with him. Bakura refuses and runs off and continues to rob tombs. He's caught eventually and this giant war between Atem and Bakura happens. Atem uses his powers and seals Bakura in the Ring and eventually himself in the Puzzle. Of course, I'm sure there's much more to this...but I'm thinking it's the main thing that sets Bakura off seeing as how at the beginning of this story Atem says: "I have a proposition." And Bakura talks about how he gave up a romantic relationship for his freedom. So I'm very excited to see how Maahado and Atem are going to handle Bakura's lifestyle...
Poor Yugi. That has to be hard on him seeing the other half of his soul is such a dilemma. Yami's not responding to him at all. Now he's finally starting to a bit. Now we're getting somewhere. So Yami's upset because he's mortal and isn't sure what to do because he's no longer immortal and he doesn't want the groups and world's problems on his shoulders but they're still treating him as if he can solve everything. Of course Yugi would blame Otogi. It seems like Ryou and Otogi opened Yami's eyes to certain things that he didn't want to see. Yami letting everyone believe Bakura was evil was wrong, but Yugi'd never hold anything like that against him.
Seeing Yami differently and with faults is going to be hard. He's always seen Malik and Bakura as people who have faults, not Yami and now that he sees that, he's accepting Yami as his equal, but it's going to take some time for Yami to accept it as well. Yami will never accept Jou and Bakura's relationship and it makes sense. Bakura was his past lover. He was in love with him and seeing him with someone else, even if he's not in love with him anymore is difficult. I think he still cares about Bakura deep down inside though...I mean how could he not? They were together for years in the past.
No surprise Seni was shocked by Diabound finally able to read its energies and powers. I'm thinking that the creature that Isis saw in one of her visions a few chapters back was Diabound. Of course Seni would have Bakura pull Diabound back into him. He knows about Kas more than Bakura does and he doesn't want Maahado to find out that Bakura's able to summon his Ka. Bakura would get upset about that. Yeah he needs to get control of his emotions before something bad happens. I'm glad he was able to control it. Bakura's beaming with pride that he finally has powers. Of course Seni would scold him about talking in such away about Maahado. And now Seni telling him he's a 'weapon' for Atem has sent him over the edge. I'm glad he's in enough control not to hurt Seni though...he's been nothing but kind to him and honestly I think he still would treat him like a human even if he could see him because Bakura IS a human. I can't blame him for getting upset. He's not a possession. He wants to be treated fairly and he'll never be able to because of 'what' he is. It's sad really...Atem treats him like he's some breakable object and Seni has him believing that h'es nothing but an object of war. Of course Seni isn't using Bakura for that. He's wanting Bakura to help Atem because he knows that Bakura and Atem love each other. Bakura would hold Diabound high and who could blame him? Diabound is kick ass, but Seni's right hardly anyone can summon their kas. That's not going to stop Bakura from helping Atem. Atem's definitely going to be upset when he finds out that Bakura's summoned his...
Anzu's POV was excellent. Her fears and worry for Yami are very realistic for her. It makes sense she wants to help, but there's only so much she can do. If Yami won't confine in Yugi about what's going on (expect what he's revealed to him) then what makes Anzu think she can get Yami to open up? The reason she didn't see that Yami was homosexual was because she didn't want to see it. She liked him and now that she's been flat out told that he is she knows that all t
| BumblingLobster chapter 38 . 8/13/2013
I finally caught up! Long overdue. I stopped reading fanfiction for a long time while I was working on my senior project... and just remembered that I had some unread chapters of this. I'm glad to be back!
Are you still writing this, or has it been put on hiatus? I really love this story! I'll be sad if there's no more (and I'm now super invested in whatever secret plans Jou has, and I really don't want Baku to do something stupid!) but I understand if life has caught up with you.
Responding to your input request at the end of this chapter, I love Shizuka's development! I like what you've done with her. In the show, she didn't really have much character, but she feels very real in your story.
As for the past sections... I'm ashamed to say I tend to skim over them. It's maybe partly that I'm generally not a fan of flashback types thing, but also that entire blocks of indented text are hard for me to read. We've already seen the after effects of whatever happened in the past through all the portions in the present, which make the past sections seem less important... kind of like reading the climax of a book before reading all the earlier parts.
This chapter was super exciting. I'm glad Jou is finally doing something on his own! Although, that part where he sees the footage of his dad was heart wrenching. I'm really worried for him. And for a while there, I had hope that Shizuka would be able to bring a little understanding to Baku, but then those hopes were dashed. Maybe it's not too late.. but I also really hope she doesn't give up! Don't let Baku scare you away, Shizuka! Ra ra ra!
Anyway, hope you are well and that your classes were fun and interesting!
| Nathanel chapter 38 . 7/1/2013
Your portrayal of Shizuka is awesome, she seems to be the only one with little stake in any of this, so it is really nice seeing someone who isn't about to blow a fuse for some reason. She is also the only one capable of telling off Bakura without having an ulterior motive.
As for the past/present thing? I wouldn't recommend doing a past only chapter, mainly because you yourself said that some people are skipping the past POVs. If you keep writing as you have been, everyone is satisfied (theoretically). But hey, you do what you want.
DON'T YOU DARE QUIT WRITING AFTER THIS FIC IS OVER!
NEEDS MORE AWESOME WRITERS LIKE YOU!
| rainbugs chapter 1 . 4/14/2013
Hey. It's looptheloopy, the one that used to do her reviews via Iphone. :) I made a new account. I am going to reread this story, Because I loved it the first time
| SHADOWoftheFOX chapter 38 . 4/10/2013
Your characterization of Shizuka was refreshing. She’s still really sweet, but she’s got some brains too. I’m glad she did remember Bakura, since he was an notable presence in Battle City. I think it would be weird if she did not know who he was (not that the Yugioh characters in the cannon are observant in any way). I liked her conversation with Bakura, but darn it, I wanted her to fully respond to Bakura’s last line.
And Ryou continues to become more like Bakura, which is amusing.
Poor Malik. Bakura better be seriously pissed when he finds out about Malik. Will that confrontation be in the next chapter? I’m still waiting with great anticipation for Bakura and Yami duke it out. I’ve just never liked Yami.
I would be fine with next chapter being entirely in the past! I’ll take any update I can get (although I’m still dying to find out what exactly happened between Bakura and Jou’s dad.)
| BakuKura chapter 38 . 4/9/2013
I was wondering when Jou's sister would come in on this. And who would of thought Otogi would have a...nice? side XDD! Skipping over the past povs o.o why are people doing that, I may not say much about them but they are really good its like 2 fictions in one! Yet its not, it adds more to the story makes it more enjoy able knowing what had happened to everyone in the past and it clears up some stuff! Either way they are missing out! Keep up the good work and look forward to the next chapter (don't worry about the past taking away from the present story line, they are both important and who knows this might get people more into the past and if they are skipping over it maybe they will go back and read the rest? :DD!)
| Orochi-Dragon14 chapter 38 . 4/8/2013
This was an incredible chapter. I love seni he's so wise. I'm glad they found bakura, atem's worried sick about him & who could blame him...
I have a feeling otogi wanted jou to find out this way...I wonder . .. .chapter he seems so confused.
not expecting it to be shizuka at the door I love her in this story I feel .her her mom wont talk brother. I'm accepted him though. I think she knows more than she let' . Her and Bakuras conversation was really good. I .thoughts on her and I love how she's not scared even after he makes the of calling Ryou hikari. I can't wait until shizuka and jou get to talk.
Poor malik that' .him. haha .have loved to see the look on Seth's tricked. So atem knows malik is which is . .ritual of soul away but they were too far in it to stop 't wait until next chapter that was an amazing chapter so worth the wait
| dragonlady222 chapter 38 . 4/8/2013
I think Shizuka is a reincarnation of Seini, there are many parallels. She is a non-judgmental character and sympathetic. She is not caring about what Bakura is just what her brother thinks of him. Her mother is clearly a bitch and very controlling. I hope Jou returns soon he really needs to see his sister and know what is going on. Yami is very conflicted and Malik is not helping. I believe he and Marik is jealous.
| theabridgedkuriboh chapter 30 . 3/19/2013
Joey's funny...he made Otogi sound like he's nothing
| theabridgedkuriboh chapter 13 . 3/17/2013
Holy shit did not see that coming...but seeing as he was so protective of him...aww so cute then but the past is the past. Lets hope that doesn't come back to bite them in the ass