|Reviews for Origins of Humanity|
| A Reader chapter 14 . 2/19
I just wanted to point out that in everything that I could find for the colonial system was that it was a double binary system so why did you shrink it one star? Basically it was four star systems.
| A Reader chapter 3 . 2/19
Interesting fact if this is as far after the first war as you said their would be no lingering radiation at that location unless a nuclear reactor also overloaded at that location as well. Look up how long radiation would disperse after a nuke goes off. Don’t believe me look up current population of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
| Just a Crazy-Man chapter 23 . 2/3
| JOHN0713 chapter 23 . 2/2
I wish you would finish this story as I enjoyed it.
| ShadowWraith2017 chapter 23 . 1/29
Very nice story
| Player42 chapter 23 . 1/27
you should have went back to rewrite from chapter 20 instead of a 5thousand word essay justifying abandonment
| Nomadic1 chapter 23 . 1/26
So? Delete a few chapters and fix it if you want.
| Player42 chapter 21 . 1/26
paragraphs are too fraking long
| Chronus1326 chapter 23 . 1/25
Hey Aussie, thanks for that wrap-up. I'm going to re-read it again now. Perhaps you consider the deletion of the last few chapters and continue writing. It was a good story, thanks again!
| Kansas Scout chapter 23 . 1/25
Read and reread this story up to this point. I like it and am waiting to read what will happen in the Battle of Cyrannus. I suspect it will be as hard fought as the Battle of the Bulge in December 44 and January 45. Am thinking a Colonial unit with perhaps some Earth troops alongside making a Bastonge like stand somewhere on Caprica would be interesting.
| deitarionSSokolow chapter 23 . 1/25
It's been so long since I read this that I can't remember what it was like, but, looking at your summary, I see one flaw which could grate on people:
It feels like your plans are an overreach.
Sure, the BSG elements have every right to be just as valid as the Stargate elements, but they're just inherently NOT on equal footing. BSG, by its very design, is a provincial little setting while SG-1 is a very all-encompassing setting. The biases exist because it's just plain HARD to get away with changing a setting like SG-1 which ties itself so strongly to the concept of "the parts of this setting that we can observe were identical to ours until the U.S. elected Henry Hayes rather than George W. Bush."
Stargate canon puts a lot of work into cementing that humans have been on Earth for millions of years and casting itself as a minor variation on our real world while BSG, by its own lore, is unclear about the origins of humanity. That means that, to modify or call into doubt humanity's origins in an SG-1's crossover, you need to come up with something that's at least as likely to be true in the real world as Stargate's answer... our real-world fossil record is about as unbroken as it can get all the way back to lemur-like creatures.
The end result is that, if you rejigger the setting the way you're proposing, it feels like treating the international scientific community and the native tribal religion of some uncontacted Amazonian tribe on equal footing in a debate about the nature of the universe.
Or, to look at it from the narrative side, it'd be the Setting equivalent of what bad authors do for their Characters all the time when they just arbitrarily treat their headcanon as gospel "because I like it better this way" without any attempt to justify it.
I have no problem with sliding the timescales so Earth has inferior tech to BSG, but you have to be extremely careful about how you rewrite stuff because "happened in the past, but not yet revealed" is a very different beast from "not yet happened". We have an intuitive sense of causality and changing the past without changing the present is difficult to justify.
Likewise, changing the state of the colonies has to be done carefully because you're running up against the "Guns, Germs, and Steel" effect. (I strongly recommend that anyone who wants to write a "contact of civilizations" story at least watch the TV adaptation of it on YouTube.)
Nobody is biologically superior when it comes to ingeniousness, but culture has trends based on the history which shapes it. One of the details not covered in Guns, Germs, and Steel is that the reason the British had the technology to force China to give them Hong Kong despite China having thousands of years head start and no Middle Ages is that China hamstrung itself with massive bureaucracy and a cosmological model which taught them that there's some inherent spark to the universe which cannot be reproduced in miniature.
The reason people's first impulse is to make SG-1 better than the colonies, aside from group loyalty, is that it really does feel like a Britain vs. China matchup. The colonies have thousands of years and multiple industrialized worlds, but they're insular and, by the time we see them in canon, they've not only been at peace for a while without an active threat to spur technological progress onward, but have been scared into a limited form of luddism by the Cylon war.
Likewise, they come across as provincial because it's a demonstrable fact, observed now, that, as science, education, and communication technology have advanced, we've seen a steady (and growing) increase in people whose only connection to religion is "non-practicing... but I say I'm _ to avoid needless strife among my peer group".
What we see of the colonies suggests that they are further behind on that curve, which gives an impression of "I don't know what exactly, but something about these people must be backwards compared to us if they've had that much peace, science, and technology and their culture isn't far ahead of ours along the road to secularism".
(Also, SG-1's underlying philosophy is that science will set you free and that there's always a bigger fish, so you cannot hunker down in fear of the possible consequences of progress. BSG has a more simplistic philosophical underpinning with a religious mindset to it and religions are always more shortsighted when compared to scientific inquiry because anything "religious" that survives as distinct from "truth" must center around claims that are either untestable or forbidden from being tested.)
As for cooperation vs. conflict, I agree that a lack of martial conflict is much more interesting, but, again, it's tricky simply because of what we can infer from human nature and BSG canon. It requires explicit and ongoing justification/demonstration of how the strife is being managed, given the sociological forces at play in our society and theirs. (If nothing else, based on the "humans tend to throw a tantrum when their worldviews aren't validated" effect.)
As for the mind-linking technology idea, I majored in computer science and have over a decade of programming experience. I find fatal feedback to be even more cliché than you find martial conflict between the SG1 and BSG settings. It's like exploding control panels in Star Trek. Allowing it is professional incompetence so severe as to qualify as negligent homicide on the part of the engineers involved.
(No matter how bright a light you shine into your webcam, it's not going to cause my monitor to blow up or otherwise fail. The same principle applies here. Any competent, sane designer will clamp their input and output ranges and the closest thing to a fatal/damaging data pattern for the human brain is photosensitive epilepsy, which is literally the biological version of the "crash and automatically reboot" dance Microsoft has made default since Windows XP.)
(In the Star Trek case, what bleeping idiot doesn't properly isolate their low-voltage and high-voltage systems, or powers their user interfaces with high voltage, or doesn't include optical isolation on the signal lines in the 23rd century? We have physical PROOF of the hazards of that. TWA flight 800 exploded over the Atlantic in 1996 because some idiot designer at Boeing routed low-voltage and high-voltage lines in the same wiring harness, wiring was left unmaintained by the airline, the crumbling insulation allowed high-voltage power to jump into the fuel gauge sensor line, it overloaded the fuel sensor, caused a spark, and blew up the fuel tanks which had been heated to produce vapor by a poorly-placed passenger cabin HVAC unit... and once that oversight was discovered, they rushed to ensure it could never happen again.)
As for the Dollhouse crossover idea, it get exponentially harder to write a good story as you cross in more sources after the first two for two reasons:
1. Additional sources have a tendency to either feel unsatisfyingly under-explored (if they feel fitting) or like a lazy attempt to avoid developing your own world which just interferes with developing a consistent feel for the story.
2. We intuitively expect all events in a crossover to be causally connected, such that they ripple outward from a single divergence from canon which explains why the two settings met when they didn't in canon. It's hard to believably justify more than two series canons coexisting within the same universe but not meeting until a single event changed things. (With the possible exception of the "Anime Tokyo" setting that all the 80s and 90s comedy anime seem to be running around in, since they have a similar feel and Tokyo is a BIG place.)
Beyond that, the points which you talk about in that bit of your summary give me a strong "jumping the shark" feel.
As for your Lords of Kobol bit, it just feels like too much... like you're wandering so far from canon without explaining how you're going to justify it that it comes across as "this story is so divergent from canon that it comes across as an original work the author slapped familiar names onto".
What you want to do with the Lords of Kobol is significant enough, narratively, that it's the kind of thing that needs an entire story arc all to itself... which is difficult to do when you also have first contact demanding attention. (And, given what you have and haven't focused on in your summary, I get the feeling that you wouldn't manage to successfully advance reasons for readers to care about your original bits on their own merits as you shed the canonicity that interested them in the beginning.)
...an impression reinforced by the paragraph beginning with "basically I wanted to build the Lords of Kobol up in the readers mind to be this new, awesome race". I can count on one hand the number of times I've found a story where that works, rather than just being an interest-killing "*bleep* canon. This is better!" (Spoiler: no, it's not), to which I say "It's fanficion. I came here because canon is what I liked."
As for your "Shit Happens" bit, there's a reason that "reality is stranger than fiction". As readers, we never forget that there's an author playing puppet-master behind the scenes. Everything must happen for some narrative purpose and culture trains us from childhood to expect certain patterns... patterns which, if violated, cause us to blame the author. (eg. The significant character death in the middle of Death Note. It doesn't make you hate the killer... it just makes you hate the author and maybe care about the story a little less.)
| heyster1 chapter 23 . 1/24
bsg 2003 was great but when it's paired with sg1 I always sided with sg1. I didn't want an alliance because I thought bsg 2003, with their industrial might, would take over sgc and earth. I agree about the whole one sided storyline of sgc being better in every way than bsg 2003, but after so many stories of this I still like it. Recently i read a story called "contact at kobol" which has this kind of one sided plot but it's well written that i still like it.
You have some good ideas that i haven't seen yet in other stories. The mind interface technologies going both ways would be a good idea to delve into. you didn't mention the space nazis episode of sg1 where pilots fly their ships using a neural interface and some pilots flew so much that they couldn't disconnect from the interface. hopefully a balanced story of sgc and bsg 2003 is out there, even though I still like sgc centric stories. please keep writing.
| Quester1036 chapter 23 . 1/24
Have you seen the Netflix show Travellers? That would be a great addition to your mind-link narrative
| Richard6154 chapter 23 . 1/24
Aussie thanks for the wrap up. Certainly your xover was one of the more innovative and your notes make it even more interesting with the inclusion of the Lords background and the Holo band Tech. I must admit I was looking forward to a big Goa'uld vs BSG battle as well.
Thanks for sharing this and looking forward to your nest work.
| Richard6154 chapter 22 . 1/1
A great story, pity you stopped but I hope this may encourage you to continue.
If you cant see yourself finishing could you share your notes on how the story would have developed and finished?
Thanks for sharing