|Reviews for ANBU BRAT|
| crusade1125 chapter 5 . 9/13
WHY DOES HE ALWAYS HAVE TO HOLD BACK! IT IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING GOT DAMN IT!
| puiwaihin chapter 27 . 7/17
Story had a lot of promise, but was unfortunately a let down in the end.
This story officially jumped the shark around the Tsunade retrieval arc. Then it nuked the fridge when Naruto became Franken-Kyuubi.
Before I get into the criticisms, I would first like to thank you for taking the time to share the story and for the effort you put into it. You write well enough to be enjoyable and you could be a good author if you focused on a few things.
Now, the criticism: Your story suffers from some common flaws. You do description better than average and your characterization is good in the initial stages, so while you can do better at those two things, those aren't the biggest things.
1. Your story lacks focus. You started with a nice idea (too bad you didn't stick with it) but it was clear you didn't have a set plot other than altering canon events. You developed a lot of secondary characters, but then many of them fell by the wayside or were under-utilized. Even the 9 tailed fox disappeared for about 10 chapters!
Trying to copy anime "story arcs" and writing the story like a series can work, but it's a bad idea for most writers to attempt.
2. Power creep. Readers like the protagonist to get stronger. Unfortunately, greatly increasing a character's power plays havoc with plot. Unfortunately, your story turned into having Naruto simply power up every few chapters and match him up against increasingly powerful enemies. By making Naruto almost elite jounin level by the chuunin exams meant there could hardly be a threat he couldn't handle. Then you gave him "super mode" and then Tsuanade strength.
There's nothing wrong with powerful!Naruto stories, but the plot needs to adjust to make it enjoyable.
3. Mary Sue/Gary Stu. Kishimoto made Naruto a loudmouth, uneducated, idiot savant. You made Naruto a wise beyond-his-years, subtle, morally perfect (or as close as a ninja can be) genius with virtually no flaws. Every character immediately loves him-except the irredeemable ones. And the ladies all love him (even before the pheromone thing).
4. You abused the flashback no jutsu. Both Naruto and One Piece do this all the time, but don't copy that! The occasional flashback is cool. The multiple flashbacks all the time were not.
I hope this criticism doesn't discourage you. You did write some entertaining stuff. What I hope is that you'll keep writing, but with a much more focused plot. The idea of ANBU helping Naruto along and watching out for him and he even being given unofficial ANBU missions as a genin is a GREAT idea! I wish you would have stuck to that. I bet you have other great ideas that would be fun to read.
Anyway, thanks for the story.
| puiwaihin chapter 17 . 7/16
Good fighting chapter
| Silverserpent74 chapter 25 . 6/18
I'm going to make a prediction: fubuki and koyuki and possibly any other female naruto comes across (including the enemy) will come to have feelings for him and any male on the oppisite side is ither going to be greavously hurt or killed.
| Silverserpent74 chapter 21 . 6/18
I am noticing a very distinct lack of male companionship and if I didn't know better I would think that you were sexist, and also are you going to make EVERY single female that he comes across have feelings towards him if so "FUCK YOU" (I hate harems with a vengeance and any indication that one appears in a good story I'm reading fills me with anger) I mean come on, tayuya had half her face burnt and rendered that eye unusable, had her three companions killed, and had orochimaru bring the hammer down on her, and the one responsible for all that is laying down restrained and all of a sudden she's thinking " (Heavy Sarcasim) oh I'm just going to help him for no reason other than this strange feeling I get that makes me want to get know him I mean it's not like he screwd my life up or anything, oh wait he did but that's ok his sleeping form convinced me to put my life on the line for him" (Rant End) seriously though what the fuck.
| Silverserpent74 chapter 17 . 6/17
I'm noticing naruto's getting a lot of affection from the oppisite sex. Now I'm only going to say this once, please tell me this is NOT going to be a harem story if it is my respect for this Fic will drastically decrease.
| Fallen Warrior2 chapter 4 . 6/13
| Fallen Warrior2 chapter 1 . 6/13
Tough Luck kakashi. Your money is about to get 'eaten' away. Hahaha get it? Eaten? Cuz Naruto luvs ramen...? Wow I suck at jokes.
| TangyCitrus chapter 1 . 5/20
ooh interesting~ i had a bit of tears here and there, cuz Naruto's childhood being sad, painful, and unfair gets to my feels, but that just means it's good since you conveyed and wrote it well without making it too heavy or with disrespect. Also, I've read a few fics recently where Naruto had a happy or at least happier childhood, and when it gets dark or sad in another story it makes me feel sorry for him and want his life to get better.
On another note, I'm liking what's been set up and am anticipating what's to come because this has got serious potential. I love how the ANBU that were introduced were welcoming and polite to Naruto and that they've taken the liberty to be his teachers and be with him as constant as they can.
I'm not sure, but was Naruto's age ever stated during this 1st chapter? If it was, I'm sorry for missing it.
Thank you for writing and sharing this!
Take care and have fun!
| The fleeting wanderer chapter 27 . 5/3
I know it must get annoying to have people always going
PLease Updtae and so on
but If you find that annoying you should have thought about that before you posted this effing awesome story and this is coming from a person who normally follows and NEVER reviews
| Annoy mouse chapter 9 . 3/6
Sheer awesome. Love it!
Some very touching moments, and probably one of the best ways I've seen this arc handled.
The return to Konaha will be amazing!
| Annoy mouse chapter 7 . 3/6
One thing though, you make it seem that Naruto has a high reserve of chakra. I thought the bigger point was that he also had an incredible regeneration time?
| Annoy mouse chapter 6 . 3/6
Hmm. As amazingly epic as this story is, I think you have made a mistake with the massive focus on Naruto's metabolism. True it has it's place, but you have made it seem that he would faint without immediately consuming massive amounts of calories and nutrients.
I fear you have forgotten the fact that not only does he have Uzumaki heritage and thus incredible stamina, larger reserves and more potent chakra, but also he is the Jinchuriki of the Kyuubi. Him running out of energy is rather absurd save in the direst of circumstances, even more so since your Naruto is actually well trained.
It might be better to remove a little of the emphasis on his metabolism, unless you are using it as his kryptonite on purpose.
That said, this is one of the best Naruto fanfictions I have read. Thanks for writing it!
| CynthiaRosenDale chapter 3 . 1/30
I hope this is not a harem fic or anko, or Hana fic
| Inperfecto-Kaneko chapter 3 . 1/27
Interesting..."lemon flavor" XD