Reviews for Dawn
xxkiirousagixx chapter 1 . 2/16/2007
I really like this fic, and this pairing
Purple Archer chapter 1 . 1/12/2007
nice one! continue writing! :)
notwritten chapter 1 . 1/11/2007
duj chapter 1 . 1/11/2007
Show, don't tell. This is literate and well-expressed but nothing about it has made the story your own. I've read hundreds of similar stories and unless they have the distinctive details that come with writing actual scenes of dialogue or action, they all melt together in my head as soon as I exit.

The scenes you absolutely have to show us in this fic are

1) when they admitted their feelings,

2) when he almost sent her away and/or when harry confronted him about that.

It wouldn't hurt to do a few more, but those ones are essential.
DemonMistress2603 chapter 1 . 1/11/2007
For your first fanfic, that was really good! If you can write like this for a one-shot, you can definitly write a full story. I also really enjoyed reading the kinder side of Severus Snape, the side that we never see but know exists in him...somewhere. And I liked the ending so don't worry! _

I look forward to reading more of your stories! SS/HG forever!

Venomous Guise chapter 1 . 1/11/2007
Good job