|Reviews for Harry Potter: Grey Wizard 1 The Beginning|
| Madmax1960 chapter 5 . 1/28
I think you have the potential for a very good story. I would suggest continuing. If you get a beta to help with the parts your uncomfortable with, but your better than you think.
| Jacob cory chapter 5 . 9/25/2017
Hey I think you did a amazing job writing this and you should continue writing this. Because to put it bluntly this story shows your a amazing writer and you can only get better
| Guest chapter 5 . 9/7/2017
I'm sorry to read that you have given up on this story. It's great! You write well! The story bowls along well, has no holes so far and is unfolding beautifully. I enjoyed it very much - and you coped much better than most near the beginning where you were inevitably covering stuff in the original books but you managed to include your own twist and ideas there too. I wish I could look forward to another instalment from you. Will you reconsider?
| Sarek5959 chapter 5 . 8/17/2017
if anyone takes you up on your offer, please post a link to them as another chapter. I think you're to hard on yourself though. I liked the story!
thanks for sharing!
| Russ chapter 5 . 8/7/2017
| Magic29 chapter 5 . 7/27/2017
As nobody seem to take it please carry on writing it I was really enjoying reading it even if it didn't have much dialog it didn't really need much and you did find with the dialog between harry and the goblin
| Russ chapter 5 . 7/13/2017
Yea right, you didn't finish it and ran away.
| starstrike141 chapter 5 . 5/31/2017
know mater what u think i'm still loving the story, don't give up yet.
| Smutley Do-Wrong chapter 5 . 4/14/2017
Don't mind reading unfinished, hiatus, or abandoned fics. But despite a usually beyond the preamble phase with a not tiny wordcount, it was padded, the story barely launched.
Certainly is a waste for any REAL review beyond common one, two or three sentence long review.
An "abandoned, up for adoption" NOTICE in the summary would be apropos.
| Smutley Do-Wrong chapter 4 . 4/14/2017
On a hunch, Harry decided to go up to one of the tellers to find out if his parents had an account here. "
Hunch?: "and put in the Potter vault, with a charm on it to move itself to wherever Harry was living on his 7th birthday"
Pushing it, but not as far as recent herd of fanfics with Gringotts FULL service bank, run by subservient as house elf, fairy godmother goblins. The "stamp" seems possibly original.
| Smutley Do-Wrong chapter 2 . 4/14/2017
However, the 'Evans' part of it was crossed off and just below it, the word "Potter" was carved into the wood.
That's pretty slipshod sloppy. Even without magic, a woodworker could refinish.
Can't imagine "the most beautiful wooden trunk he had ever seen.", with a name written on the front of it.", like graffiti, then part crossed off, and "Potter" carved BELOW.
Plus if it's a school trunk, seems silly to later put husband's surname on it.
Won't bother much about details of JKR's Gamp laws about food. You could avoid the magic police review citations by crossing out the bad tasting conjured food.
I am not a canon or wiki following. So it's MY IMAGINED get around and making more sense of things like a one term and 2 months student "conjuring snakes". So, simply summon food from known in detail location, pantry, fridge, etcetera of #4. Harry is teleporting or apparating around, why not apparate into the school kitchens for some meals?
Although accio, like year 4 spell, and "summoning" his broom during the dragon task, is not the sort of summoning I speak, nor "summoning" Dobby, by calling him by name.
Think more like reverse of Dumbledore "sending" Harry's belongings instantly to the Burrow. Like second year Draco casting serpensortia, not conjuring an effing dangerous snake, but summoning, like as in magically transporting it from nearby container in Snape's potions store room.
Plus, a sort of "remote apparating of objects", summoning food, dovetails with Harry "drenched" in apparating magicks.
You could have him do the reverse, send things TO a location, like into his cupboard or onto the school rooftop. Suppose there are rules, limits maybe? Can't summon what doesn't know about in detail. So if he is in the pantry, or while cooking, or in a shop, he could send food he sees, to the cupboard or to a picnic on the school roof.
| G chapter 5 . 4/8/2017
I thought you did quite well actually. I was enjoying the story, and would like to see will you go with it. I would especially like to see you give that jackass Dumbledore his comeuppance!
| Nebula'sPhoenix chapter 5 . 3/9/2017
I don't really see what you are talking about i love your story its highly detailed and the dialog isn't to bad. if you feel that you are not good then just practice more
| tiara123458 chapter 5 . 3/5/2017
Aw, disappointing. Would you mind posting a chapter giving the username of whoever adopts it?
| fraewyn chapter 5 . 3/5/2017
Let us know if someone does!
I've usually got the same problem!