|Reviews for Deliverance|
| manufan2312 chapter 3 . 2/21/2013
great story shame you did not continue
| manufan2312 chapter 2 . 2/21/2013
love max/logan hope we dont have to wait to long
| manufan2312 chapter 1 . 2/21/2013
cool first chapter
max did track him down a bit easy would have thought eyes only would have been harder to find
| Long Live BRUCAS chapter 3 . 9/26/2011
So sad. They can finally be together w/o any problems. Yet they aren't. They just can't seem to get passed all that has happened and lead them to this point.
| Marcus Sylenus chapter 1 . 5/28/2009
Had already reviewed the other two chapters, so this ne will have to do...:P
"He should have rushed to her, taken her in his arms and promised never to let go again, never let anyone or thing come between them. He should have kept the promises he’d made to her so long ago, despite the fact that she’d broken them."
Still mu favorite line, and a huge influence on my story...
I hope you finish this one, too.
| Marcus Sylenus chapter 2 . 1/9/2009
You've mastered the art of keeping M/L on the balance of angst and love.
"From December to May she kept telling herself that she was glad he moved on. She tried to imagine him living some happy little white picket fence life. Imagine him dating, falling in love again, getting married...
It turned her stomach every time."
Nice, just a light touch of angst to begin.
"She always meant to live a life that wasn’t a reaction to Manticore, she always began that way. Each city there had been a new something. A new job, a new boyfriend, something that would make her feel ‘normal’ for a brief second and then the realization of how screwed up she was because she couldn’t be happy, she couldn’t make it last.
She had really believed though...
Really believed as they sat on the floor together for just seconds before Zack dropped in. She believed it when she busted in on the party with ultimate crasher in Lydecker and saw the relief, joy and love on his face. Dying in his arms, she realized she’d been foolish believing it could ever happen for her at the same time realizing that she was the only one to blame, not Manticore, all those years hating them and it had been her.
When she saw him again, she swore she’d be different, but she did the opposite.
She’d run to him, then run away, run to him, then run away again until finally she ran farther than he could find her.
For over a month she swore she’d respect his wishes to figure out who he was and let him be.
Then she started to think about him with someone else, forever.
Someone else being the person who finally got him to open up, someone else to listen to his dreams, someone else to plan his future with and suddenly that little ol’ virus didn’t seem like that big of a deal."
And now Max starts to really look at her actions, at herself and there's nowhere to hide... :P
"The girl’s head tilted and she stared at Marjorie for a moment before daring to open her mouth in a whisper, ‘Is he here?’ She realized now that if Logan truly was here then there would be no new identity to take care of, she realized now that this had been a vacation home, not a one time never happened trip, he’d left Seattle seeking comfort, seeking familiar things, he’d been looking for Logan Cale, not a stranger.
‘All depends sweetheart, who you looking for?’
Her face fell as she realized it was for naught. She’d lost him for good because of five seconds of anger. Her eyes closed as tears were about to fall. ‘So he’s not,’ was all she could say."
"‘We’re…’ her head shook, ‘we were…’ her eyes closed, ‘we had a fight,’ she said in a low incredulous voice, an everyday common fight.
‘He’s been here for almost a year.’
Her eyes opened to reveal a soft brown, ‘And I was gone months before that…I didn’t mean for it, for this…’ her head shook some more. ‘I still don’t know what happened,’ she said with a trembling voice."
She's tottering between hope and despair so quickly, it's a wonder she doesn't get whiplash ;D
“No problem, we all help each other out here,” warm blue eyes smiled at her, hoping he wasn’t sending her into the lion’s den, he turned once more to see Logan still just standing on the porch, fully dressed, yet making no move, he’d seen the guy give up coats, walk blocks out of his way to escort someone to their car, drive clear across the island when someone was in need. Yet there he stood now doing nothing. "
"He was a wall.
“You’re a hard person to find.”
“You’re one to speak.”
“ Logan,” her head shook, “I’m sorry.”
He continued looking at her.
“I didn’t mean to,” her eyes closed for a moment. “One minute I was clearing my head and the next I was ducking past a checkpoint. I thought if I could just get some fresh air then…” her head shook.
“A year and a half of fresh air?”
“I didn’t mean to,” she repeated. “It was just easier to stay away…And then you were gone.” She wanted to run to him, to bury her head against his chest, to feel his arms wrap around her. How had she forgotten the pain of not being able to do that?
“There’s a fire going inside.”
She didn’t bother mentioning it wasn’t the cold that was making her quiver. "
“I thought I’d never see you again,” she said in a small voice as she weakened once more. Please don’t screw this up, her heart pleaded with her.
He moved faster than she could react to in her mentally depleted state.
Before she realized it she was being pinned against a white pillar, his mouth crushing into hers. It was all too fast, she was too caught up in feelings and emotions to remember anything.
It wasn’t until he pulled away as harshly and as quickly as he’d come to her that she even remembered the virus.
He didn’t look scared or panicked though, instead he looked angry. Angrier than she’d ever seen him.
“A year and three months,” was all he said.
“You cured it,” she said in shock.
“Yea interesting how that worked out, though I guess it says a lot about our relationship.”
“When?” she asked even though she already knew the answer.
“Odd thing when the reason behind our fight…You don’t really need a cure when you’re no longer exposed to something.”
“You should have,” she looked at him with pained eyes.
“I should have what Max?” he asked angrier than he had been when he’d accused her of being with alec. “Told Original Cindy? alec? Bling?”
She would have come, she would have come running.
“You made your choice,” he nearly spat out.
“I was trying to keep you safe,” her voice raised, finding strength in that. They’d fought because they loved each other. O. Henry would be proud.
“Yea that worked out well,” he bitterly laughed.
“If you just told someone,” she began to defend.
“I would have told you Max, if you called. Just once.” If she’d called before he’d gone through with it, before he finally gave up waiting and went to NY for treatment, he would have scrapped any plans regarding it, sworn to never even think about another treatment ever again, if she’d only come back to him. "
And now you have Logan, hard, wounded, proud, Logan, protecting himself in a way reminiscent of the early season 1, by shutting himself form the hurt, but mantaining his self control; even in anger, he's cool, collected...
"She held in her sigh and turned. She’d unintentionally had many dreams regarding this very moment. Being reunited with Logan and no virus. This was no where near any of them. She could have dealt with his anger, but not his indifference. "
"The curse on her lips came at the same time his hand went around her, resting on her stomach before sliding across to her side as she was pulled back.
They both froze then, as she was safely settled.
Touch between them still too new, she could feel it coursing through her body.
She wanted to lean back, into his embrace, but she felt him stiffen almost immediately after his gut reaction to help her. "
Logan is afraid of getting closer, of letting go of the anger that's keeping him together, it feels like he'll crumble if he let's his guard slip... :'(
"She watched with limp curls, blown apart by the wind on the ferry, as he froze walking back into the room. A single curl obscuring her vision of him, but not enough to have not seen his quick stop as she’d turned to face his footsteps and he’d just simply stopped.
He wasn’t supposed to stop.
He should have rushed to her, taken her in his arms and promised never to let go again, never let anyone or thing come between them. He should have kept the promises he’d made to her so long ago, despite the fact that she’d broken them. "
Beautiful moment, they are unable to let go, to see beyond their hurt.
I particularly loved the last sentence, we see more of Max's hurt, of the damage done to their relationship, their trust: Logan's constantly holding back, and every time he does so her hopes die a little more. She's at the same time feeling responsible (she's already accepted her guilt for the break up) and expecting more, expecting him to be Logan, to be always for her, and it kills her every time he doesn't.
Don't take the wrong way, I know it's hard to keep on writing when you lose the drive, or the inspiration, or even, as some of your A/N and comments on your profile , simply lose control of your characters...If you can't or just wont keep going whit this little gem, it's OK... but it's a shame.
While it's true it's not as good as, say, Moving On or Omens, it's GOOD.
Way better that ninety percent of the stories floating around this day!
I hope you can get past your writer's block, and rope the stories back to where you intended them to go, but even if it doesn't, you'll still be one of my top five favorite writers. ;D ;D
| Brian2008 chapter 3 . 10/20/2008
Your story has Max and Logan on a nearly deserted island a world away from Seattle. There is no virus, Manticore, familiars or other transgenics to distract them, but they have not yet found the way to put their past behind them and be happy together and maybe they never will. This is a fascinating character study.
| Princess456 chapter 3 . 10/17/2008
love it keep on going :D
| Marcus Sylenus chapter 3 . 10/17/2008
You shouldn't feel bad, it's an amazing story; i mean, have you looked at the majority of stories around? Shoddy characterization, plots with holes you can drive a car through, and an absolute contempt for (or lack of knowledge of) basic grammar. Your work is amazing.
AN: It’s never coming back. My drive, my insight into who I thought the characters were, the connection…It’s kaput. Interestingly enough, I try to post these little bits to make my FFN account as complete as my hard drive and FFN has a technical glitch at the exact moment I go to post (seriously was working 2 minutes before), it's a sign.
I'm afraid to ask, but... does this mean that you've given up on this story? That it'll take a while for you to finish the next chapter? Hopefuly your muse will sort itself out and we'll see where this goes.
| Dutch chapter 3 . 10/16/2008
So happy to see you writing again. Been waiting for the next chapter to this wonderful story. You are very talented and the way you write these two lovers are true to character of S1. I can feel the angst between them. I think you should keep it angsty for a couple of chapters. Eventually they can come together as we all know they should. Hopefully you will continue with this story. Love to see where you go from here. Please update soon.
| Mari83 chapter 3 . 10/16/2008
So will me saying how perfectly sad and melancholic this is just sound disrespectful and like trying to bully your muse into writing? I mean the first but don’t want to do the other.
One of the things that fascinate me about Max and Logan is that there always seems to be more to their words and action, all the undercurrent and hidden meaning and it is so intense here, in their trying to behave normal while there’s this sadness about who they have become, the past, lost opportunities. Very intense atmosphere sticking in my head and so many sad moments of things not being just comfortably Max and Logan anymore, like this
"He wasn’t supposed to stop.
He should have rushed to her, taken her in his arms and promised never to let go again, never let anyone or thing come between them. He should have kept the promises he’d made to her so long ago, despite the fact that she’d broken them."
Their lighter moment of shared memories, the hopefulness of their past market visits would have been sweet on its own, but is much stronger in contrast with the rather hopeless mood of the rest.
"You. She had missed the Poulet Chez Cales. The watercress salads. The garlicy potato wedges. But because they were his. Because she shared them with him. Okay maybe they had merit on their own, but Logan…
“Everything?” she whispered to the point almost no sound emerged."
Oh man… Seeing Max so vulnerable, with this almost-confession of how much she hurts, the whole thing of them standing next to each other without really making a connection…
"Mari- graham cracker with marshmallow on top dipped in chocolate. Only sold from fall to spring. Puts all other chocolate/marshmallow items to shame."
Thanks for brain-reading explanations (Knew there was something I forgot to eat while over there, especially since the marshmallow-chocolate combination tasted interesting)
| Aurora2424 chapter 3 . 10/16/2008
Damn, this story is good! The tension you've got going between them at this stage is more than just palable, it's about to set fire to the computer. And it's heightened by the perspective. I feel like I'm Max, desperately trying to decipher Logan's feelings, searching for that chink in the armour that will tell Max that he still cares. Which is, of course, a sign of master fanfiction writing.
I wish I could abide by your statement and not read unless I'm good with the unfinished status that you're implying this might remain in, but you know I gonna pray to the Blue Lady that she intervenes :-)
By the way, I encountered this fiction during my original mad tear through DA fanfiction, and I remember being memorably disappointed that there wasn't more. That comment is not to make you feel guilty, but to tell you just how great I thought this particular fiction is. It was before the days I realized how important reviews were, so I stupidly didn't, but I was probably reading dozens of fictions a day - many of which I've forgotten. However, I vividly remembered the story line of this as a reread it today. So in response to your previous post... nothing about this fiction sucks.
| Mari chapter 2 . 3/24/2008
(In the selfish hope of luring you into writing) this one made it twice to our favorite quote-challenge over at LJ with those two bits:
“It wasn’t until he pulled away as harshly and as quickly as he’d come to her that she even remembered the virus.”
"She wondered if something could be profound just by the lack of it. If momentous things could be said through not saying them"
| Brian chapter 2 . 3/7/2008
Really interesting premise to this story. Max and Logan driven to opposite parts of the country by the virus but unable to remain apart. Logan in a new place-is it a new Logan? What else has happened in the intervening time that neither knows about? For M/L fans like myself, the desired ending is predictable, but your writing makes the getting there so enjoyable.
| Sabrina chapter 2 . 1/12/2008
I know I am a lil late with it, ok maybe a lot late, but I have to tell you NOTHING about this story sucked. NOTHING! I am rapidly becoming a HUGE fan of your and I LOVE EVERYTHING you write. This one is one of my favs.
Now I can do it this way. I can send you a e-mail everyday and beg you to finish this story or I can send you 2 e-mails a day begging to finish this story! Your choice really. I have no type of shame in my body. I can be know for my annoying stockerish ways so well.. guess Ill be writing you later today and tomorrow. Yeah yeah people will call this obsession but I like to think of it as committment! LOL later.