|Reviews for Death and Destiny|
| johnapple chapter 3 . 2/6/2014
I have just read this chapter, and I have come to the conclusion that at the time of writing this story : I think you don't have any children. I have three and five grand children. I can tell you if my child went missing at 15 months old and I found said child 14 years later - The first thing I would do is seek out that child and love said child truly, Not stand around with a bunch of idiots keeping me from my child - with silly stories and childish dialogue from said adults. Alas it is only a story and I shall continue to read it further to see how it goes. thank you for your time and work.
| Free Siri chapter 1 . 11/27/2013
Well if it only cuts Harry, why doesn't James just cut Harry, but not deep enough to actually hurt him, bring Voldemort the bloody knife and get Lily and then go into hiding with both?
| Guest chapter 11 . 1/14/2013
| pottermommy1118 chapter 11 . 12/19/2011
So I know you wrote this forever ago but this was great!
| LilysongOfThunderClan chapter 11 . 12/8/2011
I loved this story even if it was kinda short to me :)
| 345 chapter 11 . 2/6/2011
This was a really cute story! Loved it!
| KraftySimmer chapter 8 . 2/5/2011
Okay, first off. I think this story has a lot of potential. It has a very good plot idea and I think if you develop it a bit more you could turn this into something amazing. Mind if I give a few suggestions?
First: I would get rid of Jasmine. She's not needed, she holds no purpose than just being a female Sirius it seems and a non clumsy Tonks. Also, people of the Black family have a habit of naming their children after stars or galaxies (ie Sirius, Andromeda, Cygnus, Draco, Astoria, Scorpius, & Orion to name a few) so I don't think they would name someone Jasmine and her being like Sirius kinda kills Sirius' uniqueness of being different from his family. She's just not needed for this story at all. Plus her blurting out that Sirius has been in Azkaban for 12 years and Remus' lycanthropy causing him to live a very poor and bleak life is not something she has a right to divuldge, much less in that manner. And ooh, she was in a mad house for a day. Not really able to compare that to the rest of them. Once again, she really isn't needed at all.
Second: Everyone welcomed James back too easily. Sure, they forced him into his animagus form to get him into Number 12 but James is surely not the only person in the world who is a stag. The chances of that not being him though are slim but still, not something that automatically says it's James. They are at war and just dealt with someone disguising themselves as Moody. Even though I can see Sirius accepting that it's James much sooner than others, I think at least Remus would hold back and be reserved until it could be proven that he really was dead. Remember, they've thought him dead for 14 years. Voldemort could be playing a very evil cruel joke. Dumbeldore too would have some reserve about this being truely James.
Third: James has been tortured and inprisoned for 14 years. That has had to kill parts of him and leave him emotionally scarred. I would think he would look and act more how we met Sirius the first time. Sullen, dead eyes, basically wasted to nothing (they can't have fed him properly) and just completely pulled away from those around him. Even seeing his son and friends would most likely bring back memories of dark moments. Surely he would curse them under his breath for not having come to find him or Lily. Even if he knew it wasn't their fault, 14 years of torture and separated from his wife has to have left some hatred in him. He might even toy with idea of killing Harry (before he came back to his senses and rid himself of the idea). Point being, James is scarred and something must have grown in him after 14 years that he needs to overcome and destroy; just like Harry has to with his scar marking him as a horocrux and having some of Tom's traits.
Fourth: Speaking of Harry, he too wouldn't open his amrs and heart to this man every one says is james. He's believed his parents dead for 14 years as as we all know, harry can have a hard time accepting others and opening himself up to them completely. He wouldn't hug and call him dad and say "I love you". This man could be an imposter and if he is and Harry opened himself up to him he would have been so heart broken, so destroyed he would either go mad or die of heartache (more likely go mad though). Harry wouldn't run to this man and trust him so quickly. It would take a long while. His dad is dead, he's been told that since he can remember. How could his father be alive? And now his mother is too? I think he would shut himself off. Give James polite, minimal words as he could until it was proven that he was his father. Remember, he was ready to kill Sirius till it was proven without a doubt that he hadn't caused his parents death.
Fifth: And I think my last point, James had to have seen something to give him a clue about where he was. Even being locked up, he had to have time to study the world around him. Even if the details are so small that James can't put it together himself, maybe the reader can. That makes a good story. Giving the reader everything they need to know to figure it out without outright saying "Here's a clue!" Even if he is without a window in his cell, surely he knows that basement or cell so well that if he walked into two idectical cells where he was held with one small insignificant detail off, he could tell you. Just like if you walk into your bedroom and something had been moved, you know it. He lived there 14 years. We should have a painting of what the room was lick. Was is musty, dry? Did the celing drip, was it cold, hot? Were there rats, what about the floor? Was there straw or something for him to sleep on or was it just stone? Was it stone at all? How was that room? Then, even being blindfolded and brought over to Lord Voldemort, maybe he might have heard something outside. A distinct noise that might mean nothing to him but something to the reader. Maybe a bird with a certain song it sings. Was there cars outside in the distance? What about cicadas? It's summer isn't it? Surely they would be eout. Or if its night, maybe he can hear a dog howling at the moon, maybe it's a wolf? He's blinded, not deaf. Or maybe he smells something. Flowers, hay, grass, anything. Then when he's in front of Voldemort he would surely take in his surroundings. There must be a window there (even if the curtains happened to be closed, he would still notice them blocing his view). Maybe he can't see anything outside but he would certainly try. James is smart, he wouldn't just stare at Voldemort. Also, Voldemort wouldn't know about Privet Drive. if I remember right, isn't it completely blocked from his view sorf of like Hogwarts is from muggles? He can only truely see it when Harry is 17 and even then only knows because Snape informs him of Harry's living arrangments.
But, like I said before. This story has a lot of potential and I tihkn if you look it over and work out more details it could be a very well devloped story, going more than just 11 chapters. Good luck with your future work. I think you have great potential as a writer. I'd get myself a very good beta who can critique your work and not just fix spelling mistakes. Someone who will ask you questions I have proposed to you to really make this story pop. Good luck!
| Jack Dollin chapter 11 . 8/18/2010
Phenomenal story. I loved it, and thank you for creating it. I hope you write a sequel.
| DELETED ACCOUNT 10123 chapter 11 . 4/5/2010
Luffin' it. Please write a sequel.
| lalababee chapter 11 . 1/2/2009
Did you write a sequel yet?
I LOVE it!
| Neumzie chapter 2 . 8/15/2008
auntie obvious. nice! lol
| KlainePotter chapter 11 . 8/2/2008
that was so good!
can't wait for the sequel!
| LilyXJames chapter 11 . 4/5/2008
I LOVE THE STORY SO MUCH!
I COULDN'T STOP READING IT! i love the ending! _ cute :)
| Mesmurae chapter 11 . 3/24/2008
I absolutely loved the story. I definitely think you should write a sequel. As long as James, Lily, and Harry stay alive. Poor Potters... :(
| BeautifulllDisaster09 chapter 11 . 1/9/2008
Oh my gosh! You should definitely write a sequel! I just hope it isn't Harry you're planning on having die in that one! ()_
Anyway! I love it! You did an excellent job!