|Reviews for I Am Negima! ?, AND SO CAN YOU! Act I|
| Eternal Longing chapter 10 . 5/19/2007
Oh! I remember that line! Too bad Axel 'd*ed'!
So... action scenes. Easy thing would be to plan out the whole thing in pictures and then right very simple sentences of what happens. Finally, go back and add description.
Now for the criticism of this chapter... Length doesn't really matter so much to me. One thing that could make this chapter better would be to make the battle scenes a bit less dramatic. As in... the 'final' fight between Cygnus and Team Negi. Other than that, it was a very interesting read. Too bad Scheme! is coming to a close.
Well, why don't you hop on over to the Train Station and catch up... you've been gone for awhile, right?
| Tikigod784 chapter 9 . 5/6/2007
heheh. Fun stuff. Akira is the most powerful student, just as I predicted as a result of recent manga chapters.
Do you have a list of the PPD students and their suka/cosplay/armor forms? I'd like to see it, since I get confused on which is which...
Great action scenes! Even greater interruptions! bwaha
I look forward to the next chapter! even though poor Cygnus is about to get "pwned" as the cool kids are calling it.
| Eternal Longing chapter 9 . 5/5/2007
You used 'evaded/dodged' easily too many times.
You used 'bad news:' too many times.
Aside from that, I don't have too many complaints. However, I think that trying to include so many battles dragged the chapter down. You did a lot but wrote too little about Mana and Lunatic Mode. I want to laugh at that!
So good job and good work. Unfortunately, it seems Scheme! is nearing the end, drawing to a close. Can the randomness really settle down? Will there be a randomness-filled sequel to this randomness-filled fic? Will Ansem get sued for using (tm) moves in his fic? Will there be a big plot twist or will it end predictably with Negi and partners vs. Cygnus? Of course, it doesn't matter who wins.
| Eternal Longing chapter 8 . 4/20/2007
Totally unexpected turn at the end. Just had to get that off my shoulders... Now here's the main content of your review.
If Negima! is eccentric, PPD just plain random, and Sonic all about speed, you add them together to get Scheme! Though not eccentric enough to scare me out of your wits, your Negima-verse! properties have all been fulfilled. Also, the randomness is just right to ward off the darker mood of the story. Finally, the long chase scenes within each chapter gives a very Sonic-y feel to it. But I feel, with no offense intended, that the chase scenes are a little too drawn out. Running around and all is fine but the longer a chase goes on the less diversity and surprises there are.
Conversely, ending was spectacular and short, thus catching the eye and keeping up the suspense. The viewer wants to read more in order to find out what happens.
A few suggestions I have for the next few chapters is to just forget about including all the characters in the main plot or even anything remotely related to the plot. Like what Negima! does, add in a few cut-scenes that have nothing to do with anything. I think you are doing so, but make them a tad bit more lengthy or with more than one character. Kaede's 'boss battle' was alright, but with just one line, it seems a bit forced to me.
Finally, I'd just like to comment once again on your style. It seems to be leaning more towards PPD to me because of the various references to 'scenes, parts, and being on stage.'
Of course, it was once again a well written and interesting chapter, though you might not get that feeling from my criticism. I hope you understand that in no way should you listen to my stark, raving mad mind. Just read the words and move on, ignoring my ramblings.
Until next chapter (or the next time I hear from you), this is your reviewee.
Check out Chapter Six of Termination to hear Negi say, "All’s well that ends well would have ended better if it had never begun," and not understand it one bit. In fact, I don't understand it myself... and I'm the one who planted that thing into his head! Chapter Six will be up soon for viewers like you. Thank you!
| KC Komicer chapter 8 . 4/20/2007
Eight chapters and almost all the Pani Poni cast used up for titles, I must say that I am incredibly impressed so far. Surprising and well-ultilised third wheel, excellent character development especially for Rokugou and Mr. Gary St- I mean, Cynus. Great twist at the end of this chapter too. Could use more 4chan memes. "A cat is fine too." hmhmm...
Given my sadistic pleasure in seeing Mesousa squirm in fear, I will be looking forward to the next episode.
Finally, one free internet for the first guy to draw a fanart of Dark Rokugou!
| Midnight Sleeper chapter 8 . 4/10/2007
Sorry it took me so long to drop you some literary love, so here goes...awesome. That's the first word that comes to mind after reading and re-reading. You would think it could be tricky to bring Sonic into this world, but you have pulled it off perfectly, my friend. The image of Sonic being chased by a net toting Asuna almost got my monitor a spit-take shower. I can't give you much of anything as ways of improvement, as I honestly can't think of any at the moment. Keep up the good work.
| b123sedg chapter 8 . 4/8/2007
I love this to death and because of you I didn't know what Pani Poni Dash until I started reading this so keep it up and please update as soon as you can.
| Tikigod784 chapter 8 . 4/8/2007
yes! rokujow! rofl waffle
I'm also interested in a sequel, that'd be sweet.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
| Luminargamer chapter 7 . 3/18/2007
very nice work. can't wait to see what happen's in the next chapter. keep it up. :)
| Eternal Longing chapter 7 . 3/18/2007
I can't believe you erased Kurumi's Shadow! He was one of the best characters of your third wheel!
I think there were a few minor errors, but that occurs in every authors' chapters in every fic. Aside from that, the overall plot was well executed and the roundabout way of sharing the story worked extremely well.
Only one thing caught my attention. The action part between Negi/Kurumi/Becky vs. Chaos Akira was a bit choppy. Conversely, the introduction of the hero of your third wheel was very smooth, well-described, and eye catching.
Overall, this chapter gets full marks in every category except for flow.
Character Developmen: 10/10
Extras/Surprises/Plain Skill: 5
| Jennon-Donnon chapter 3 . 3/16/2007
Yo, Ansem! I don't know who the cat in the vending machine is, but I got the SpongeBob reference. I can't forget that one.
The turn of events has been interesting. I'll stick around and see how it turns out.
| Jennon-Donnon chapter 2 . 3/16/2007
Since you do have a proofreader, I can't make any of my trademark mistake pointing... Damn.
Hehe, this is good. It's funny. It's brilliant! I haven't watched PPD, but I have a vague idea about the characters (from Wikipedia, and from Magister Vergrandis Ferociter, the Negima!/PPD crossover).
Keep it up! I'm looking forward to seeing more of Cygnus.
| Jennon-Donnon chapter 1 . 3/16/2007
Nice start. I remember a PPD Negima crossover once, now buried under the tons of KonoSetsu...
I remember seeing this in your sig on AQS. I hope to be of some help to you.
| Eternal Longing chapter 6 . 3/10/2007
Already halfway! This is getting both longer, more hilarious, and more intense. There is one thing I think you forgot, however: What happened to the weakness and hunger that comes after a pactio?
Where's the satisfaction meter and the video game like controls... er, video game like innuendos? At least, I think that's what its called...
Next time: my favorite character from the third wheel appears; Chaos Control!
| Eternal Longing chapter 5 . 3/10/2007
Strange, in that other PPD/Negima fic I read, Becky also had a cat form from a normal pactio...
Anyways, your chapters are very chaotic and I think you know that. Well, as long as it's on purpose it's alright...
But... what was up with Miyako's card? Nes? This is getting crazier than I thought it would.
One last thing - I feel that Setsuna's character is a little bit off. Can't go into details, but just a feeling I get.