|Reviews for The Broken Tool|
| MillenniumCount chapter 22 . 6/30/2014
dang dang dang dang mari made quite the improvement! i think she's a lot more, well, she has that aura that makes me want to root for her now. she's a nice contrast to what uve been writing in the Lord Hirai chappies ;)
| Guest chapter 4 . 6/12/2014
The way you describe every bit of scenery, thought and action is wonderful. I can actually picture every scene vividly and FEEL the atmosphere, and being the impatient person I am, I hardly ever read too deeply to do that. This story and its sequel are truly exceptional. Thank you for this amazing take on a minor, mostly "neglected" but really interesting character. Plus, the OCs are as real as life. Your Naruto "universe" is much more realistic than the original, although that sounds strange ;) I don't know how often you update, but I'm reaaaally looking forward to more of your writing in your just-as-awesome sequel.
| Anonymous chapter 13 . 12/31/2013
Good? You're leaving me quivering in anticipation for the crowds reaction, as well as Haku's demonstration. I liked the Bunka and Haku moments, too, although I'm feeling sad for Inari, and looking forward to Chuusa's part in this.
| mugu chapter 5 . 11/29/2012
I'll tell you one thing, I'm really impressed how you manage to get things that far. I was at first a bit off by the important amount of OC and the non-existence of the canon characters except when they are mentioned or related in pre-prologue events, and that's probably why you don't get as much review as your works truly deserves. Your vision of the ninjas is the nearest I've come to encounter from mine; that means they are only tools, and not the overpowered things and don't have in fact the lowly shonen attributes that Kishimito like to put in them, which made them also ridiculous for me. The whole ninjas' system is justified for me to protect initially the citizen of the Elemental Countries, but sadly, as the human nature is to control everything, even its peers, the ninjas has been devoid from their original goal, and contrary to that they should do, they even pressurize more the civilians. Even the Hidden Villages take profit of the civilian by their power*, even Konoha that takes "missions". The initial system of ninja in Naruto was corrupted, because the Hidden villages don't infer in the civilians' problems if they don't give them the money to help them. Some ramblings of mine :).
But one thing I think you forget about the characterization of Haku, I don't know if it's evoked later, or something I zapped throughout my reading (because I have many difficulties to read it), so don't think I'm pretentious, just a different point of view.
Before his encounter with Zabuza, Haku had in fact a past. Before his encounter with Zabuza, yes, Haku was an orphan, someone who sought for someone that could adopt him. Yes, he sought for being recognized but even before that, there is a whole event that doesn't seem to be related in your story, and that is his trauma of his father that had killed his mother. I don't know if you have implied the consequences of this peculiar event in the relationship he will develop with your female OC, but I think it's a very important face of the character of Haku. It's why he's also so attached with Zabuza, because he somehow rebuilds his father figure alongside the Kiri's Nuke-nin. I think you also insisted too much on the fact that Zabuza was almost like a "God" in Earth but it's your story anyway, and your view of the characters, then, I have nothing to say about it.
Even if I write to you all those things, I'm certain you have already grasped it :), so I know it's useless but as you mark you're changing some things in your story, I fell like it was important for me to contribute for this story I could have done, but certainly not so well, because I have nor your skill in English, nor the mentality you have.
Sadly, my English skills are too low, so I can't truly appreciate the story. Perhaps one day, if I have time, I'll translate your story into French (as I made many ones) to understand it better. You can see my works on translations on my profile I done for many stories.
I send you my regards',
| BiblioMatsuri chapter 22 . 11/28/2012
*applauds* Heck of a ride.
| BiblioMatsuri chapter 18 . 11/28/2012
Now, how could we forget the ice mirrors?
| mugu chapter 1 . 11/28/2012
It seems really interesting... I have always sought for a story that involves Haku at the main character after he could have been alive from the encounter with Naruto and his squad. I'm more than impatient to discover this story, but not tonight, because I'm mostly tired :). Haku has also always been a favorite char of mine, and I can proudly say that I use him also intensively in my own fiction (thought it doesn't show for now).
I'll review you later of what I think about your story ;).
| BiblioMatsuri chapter 7 . 11/28/2012
Nitpick: Kakashi's surname is Hatake, not Hitake.
| BiblioMatsuri chapter 5 . 11/28/2012
Nitpick: You typo'd an unnecessary "i" in "plastered."
Aw, h*ll. Shr-fu seems to be the Land of Waves' answer to Danzo and Pain. Why do I have the sinking feeling that the guys sent after Inari will be more successful?
So, what's Keiya's game?
Overall: Wow. Slow start, well worth it. There are plots going on both in the foreground and background, a look at the consequences of Gato's death, and a general feeling of "things are going to h*ll in a handbasket very, very, soon."
| BiblioMatsuri chapter 4 . 11/28/2012
This story has officially sucked me in. It's unlike any "Haku lives" story I've read before, in a good way.
| BiblioMatsuri chapter 3 . 11/27/2012
It's reined in (harnessed, bound), not reigned (ruled over).
Good work with the Mari and Haku confrontation and the OCs - they seem like characters that could easily fit into the Narutoverse as a whole.
"...a smile that was ten-percent friendly and ninety-percent crocodile." Very effective imagery.
| BiblioMatsuri chapter 2 . 11/27/2012
Gravelly (rough) tenor, not gravely (seriously). And yeah, that's Waves-arc Naruto and Sasuke to a tee.
How did armor help? (In canon, the manga clearly showed Kakashi's Chidori going right through him. Armor only helps if it absorbs or deflects the damage, not once it's been punched through.)
That's pretty much exactly how he'd react. That, or worse. (Of the just-let-me-die-without-my-purpose kind.)
| BiblioMatsuri chapter 1 . 11/27/2012
Hakama, not hakima. Grisly (gory), not grizzly (bear). And how did Mari find Haku? (Before that, how did he get out of the grave, or even survive the giant freaking hole in his chest without a healing factor?) Other than that one plot hole, this is interesting.
| Maeahru chapter 22 . 8/14/2012
Your writing is superb (I love the variety of words you use) and you have a pretty good plot. Seeing the difficulties that Haku faces both physically but also psychological/philosophical allows for his varied responses and keeps the story moving. At various points I was stuck wondering if Haku would become a 'good guy', 'bad guy', or simply an archetypal 'ninja'.
The one issue I had with the story was the fighting. Some of the fights were perfect, brutally fast or strategically fluctuating-death could have fallen on any of the participants if a wrong choice was made. While the fight sequences were fun and well done it felt like other fights just kept going long after one party should have been dead-if from nothing else than Chakra exhaustion!
All-in-all, wow! I loved your story and am glad that I had a story to read that is not a retelling of 'the wave arc' and 'the snow country arc' and 'here come the Akatsuki! arc'. Thank you very much for your excellent writing.
| TheMysticalFett chapter 23 . 3/26/2012
Most. Amazing. Fanfiction. Story. Ever. Mind. Blown.
I have not a single complaint and more than enough gushing praise for this story. AAA novel quality.
On a side note, I hope The Village Hidden in the Surf is created in the sequel. Till next review