|Reviews for Return Two Days|
| XxmotojixX chapter 3 . 4/20/2007
update soon! please thanks!
| TJ chapter 2 . 4/2/2007
Can't believe u put Jamie in it I love it though, r me and Abbs gonna be in it?. I'll call u later k! Love u!
| PsychoticPhey chapter 2 . 4/1/2007
so far, i like the plotline well enough to comment, but you really need to add more detail. take some time with the story, let it flow naturally. furthermore, you're misspelling some crucial words that are driving me up the wall. if you're referring to a valuable stone, it's spelled 'Gem' not Jem. also, there's a 'd' and 'e' in 'handsome.' a hansom is an old-fashioned horse-drawn carriage. I don't like the layout you're using for the story-that is, the 'more up and down than side-to-side' style, but that's my personal opinion.
| baka blu chapter 1 . 3/30/2007
wow, that is really good. i cant wait to read your next part and find out who that mysterious guy is. Negi seems jealous of him... is he? write fast so i dont have to keep wondering!
| x6bakablack9x chapter 1 . 2/10/2007
you have to go and read my story and review! just cause you love me and you want to!
| jess chapter 1 . 2/1/2007
awsome chapter! jess is making me rite this but i do think its awsome even yho jess is a dork but i luv her for it!
okay its me. that was mari anne i read to her because i am bored. its second block and we are supposed to be looking up info on volcanoes. i dont want to though. ill do it at home. yo need to write the next chapter and let me read the third one. if you dont you can read the rest of my story with stacey and chris. oh big threat there.
i love you more than ice cream
| Abbs your best friend chapter 1 . 1/22/2007
Hey u put Jamie in wow u told me 2 read so I did well I'll call u tonite! Love u
| Jess chapter 1 . 1/15/2007
that was really great. you need to write it longer though. oh i want to help. well...ill write my own. you should seriously write more. if you do let me read it tomorow. yah!
negima kicks ass
sorry for jamie
| NYITNYIT I do have a profile chapter 1 . 1/14/2007
THis is good. You spelled handsome wrong, but i gotta see what's gonna happen next.
| yashan-kun chapter 1 . 1/14/2007
well you didnt give me much to work. i know it was just a brief intruduction to our new OC. gotta say that i think is really sweet what you are doing. you can think of this story as another way to keep ur friend alive forever and also u r lettin us know him. thank you.
p.s you my wanna double check you grammar.
good idea to add a little konosetsu. it attracks readers.
ill keep an eye on ur story.
| Serac chapter 1 . 1/14/2007
Well, I've read it. ...So? Where is it? Come on, I'm not kidding. ...Seriously. You said: 'Read it and I'll love you forever'! I'm waiting for the love, but...it's just not coming, I can't find it anywhere.
I think I might have the first review, but I'm not gonna hold my breath, as such things mean nothing to me. None of this has been of any help to you so far, so I'll stop messing around and actually review, now.
You made a spelling error that you repeated, so I'm guessing you just didn't know how to spell it, and it wasn't a slip of the fingers. That being the case, 'hansom' is actually spelled 'handsome'. You know, for future reference.
People tend to not like OC stories as much as not-OC stories, but if that doesn't matter to you, rock on. I have an OC, too, and he kicks ass. Actually, now I have two, and they both kick ass. So if you like your OC and have some individuality and personality for him, I'd say bring the heat. I think making a good OC proves you can be a good writer, for fun or whatever else.
As far as the storyline goes, we're going pretty vague and stereotypically. Guy saves girl, girl blushes and hopes he doesn't see (Which you used twice in too short a time span), Setsuna/Konoka stuff, Negi/Nodoka stuff, etc., etc. This is playing it safe, as most people dig that kind of thing. Oh! Almost forgot another stereotypical thing: Your OC has a black cloak. It's been done to death. ...Not that mine has a black jacket, himself. ...He rocks, ok? Go read 'The Dreamer', you'll see.
Um...oh. Right, your story line is looking pretty basic and not-particularly involving, at the moment. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Mr. Obscurus was meeting up with the headmaster to pick up a teaching position. You should do something awesome like make him a janitor or something that the girls go to for advice. You know, just try and swing something a little more original and inventive. I'll think you're cooler, and that's important.
Lastly, lest I not say it, I'm sorry about your friend. If this is a tribute to him, and he was a good friend of yours, you should do everything in your power to make sure it kicks ass. That being said, I hope you'll take everything I said as a helping hand in doing so, because I don't discourage. I'm pretty sure my review is longer than the actual piece. Yeah, I'm just that good.