|Reviews for Spiral|
| Jiade-103 chapter 6 . 1/3/2009
CALLI ! , Hello!
First of all let me say, I loved it.
Second of all let me express how ... suprised, upset, happy and disapointed I was when I checked my e-mails and found that "Spiral" had been updated while I was away on vacation. And that I sadly was not given the pleasure of being the first to read it. I'll get over it, ) .
Thridly, let's get down to what was ... weird with the story.
"Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, oh God, I miss Okaa-sama and Otou-sama more than anything...
Well, damn. She thought about it."
... Sounds... lame to put it bluntly. It sounded kind of upbeat and meaningless. Something like,
"Don't think about, don't think about, don't think about it" She chanted to herself, "Oh God," Sadako heaved out a sigh of frustration. "I miss Okka-sama and Otou-sama more then anything." She stared into empty space. "I can't believe I thought about it."
You know, something.. ... I don't know.. It just didn't sound right, and it seems you like the word damn. Cause this, doesn't fit either.
"Sasuke scowled. Damn her, Sadako was right. So what was Tsunade up to?"
It would sound better, without "Sadako was right." Maybe instead something like.
"Sasuke scowled, damn her. But none the less, she was right. So what was Tsunade up to?"
That doesn't sound great either, but you get my drift.
That's all that's 'wrong' with it. Other than those small things, it was perfect. Well, perfection doesn't exist, but it was as close as it could get. I personally loved it. The end of the chapter made my heart melt.
Congratulations and THANK YOU, for updating... FINALLY. I thought I'd have to bug you a million more times.
It's one in the moring, so.. I think this is one of my smaller reviews.
I'm going to bed,
- Jiade 103
| Mei fa-chan chapter 6 . 1/2/2009
| Itachirules.org chapter 6 . 12/30/2008
I love it, its ok about the long update, please continue!
| SaskiaSama chapter 6 . 12/30/2008
Well, you have succeeded in being the first author to write a fanfiction that actually provoked a tear. :D I am absolutely addicted to this; such a good plot and character development! I LOVE this fanfiction; please update it soon, or I'm going to end up killing myself xD
| sillimiss chapter 6 . 12/29/2008
Oh. My. God!
i am totally in love with story! (of course i had to re-read it though haha. too long a wait haha.) i am DYING for the next chapter! can't wait! update soon!
| kattylin chapter 6 . 12/29/2008
| CagedHeart chapter 6 . 12/29/2008
Holy...WHAT! Those last two lines, Does that mean that Sasuke knows about Sadako being their daughter? or does it mean that Sasuke and Sadako have a secret? Damn it i'm so antsy, it's not fair. It's like watching one of those shows where the character just miss each other but they were so close you can't help but scream in frustration and anticipation. OH, shivers. UPDATE!
| The Winggoddess chapter 6 . 12/29/2008
love your story! pLEASE update as soon as you can. Can't wait for the next one!
| Perfect love kills all fear chapter 6 . 12/29/2008
Finally, finally you updated. I turned 13 and then 14 since I've started reading. And every time you update, I have to reread the whole story to figure out what's going on. Sorry, I had to say that. You know you haven't updated in a while.
I loved the 'dirty little secret'. I mean, it sounds like seeing how sadako's personality, her pride is gonna make her pretend it never happened and she's all right.
She showed a flash of her sharingon to Konohamaru. He was scared sh**less! Thought that was funny. But I Wonder what's gonna happen exactly if she messes up and/or Sasuke finds out. Maybe she should pratice her sharingon on her own cause it looks like she's gonna be there for a while. You know maybe sneak out every once in a while.
And I love the songs you put in this fic. I mean, I usually dislike the songs that go in Naruto fanfiction for some reason. But I've really liked all the ones in yours so far.
Please update soon. I know you don't update regularly but maybe you can try once a month? I mean, I have no room to be talking but I really want to know what happens next.
And like I said in my last review, if I didn't like this story so much, I would have given up on it long ago.
Perfect love kills all fear
| Little Minamino chapter 6 . 12/29/2008
Very intersting. I liked how you threw Karin in there. Poor Sadako is going to have to be very careful about what she says and how she acts now. Sasuke and Sakura are very smart, it's only a matter of time before the few things she lets slip out mature into solid facts in their minds. Anyway, great update. Keep up the good work!
| angelaurora7777 chapter 6 . 12/29/2008
This is so godd
I cant wait to read more!
I ned to read more!
everything is coming together. Sadako and Sasuke and Sakura are like a real family!
I wonder if they can have a happy ever after!
Wouldnt that be nice?
I hope they do.
HUrry up and UPDATE!
| ErinHerz chapter 6 . 12/29/2008
Thank you for finally updating!
Better late than never you know;)
| Similar Hues chapter 5 . 11/7/2008
awesome!When's the next one coming? _
| Itachirules.org chapter 5 . 9/26/2008
OMG please continue! this story is great!
| CagedHeart chapter 5 . 8/1/2008
omg wow. you created an awesome character. you just make her so visible, i guess, that it's like she's in the manga. and the fights with all of team 7 are really funny, as was the one between sasuke and sakura and in the hospital. i like the banter between sadako and sasuke too, it's like their father and daughter but they just don't know it yet. Amazing story! and i hope you UPDATE SOON!