|Reviews for Vanishing Love|
| Infinity Comes To A End chapter 14 . 6/15/2014
Well, I waiting until the very last chapter to review but here it is.
I have to start by saying; if the Incredibles 2 wasn't already in production, this script would have been perfect for it. This is how the movies would have been like if they weren't PG and targeted towards children.
Your portrayal of teen Violet was spot on and very accurate. There was heavy character depth and plot detail. The original writer of "The Incredibles" movies would have cried tears of joy.
To finish up, I just want to thank you for having superior grammar, syntax, plot detail, and characterization. You truly belong on this site and are worthy of being called a Fanfic author.
まってね, Infinity Comes To An End.
| TheWickedTruth89 chapter 14 . 6/5/2014
| TheWickedTruth89 chapter 6 . 6/5/2014
| TheWickedTruth89 chapter 2 . 6/5/2014
Great chapter, I'm really liking your interpretation of Rick.
| TheWickedTruth89 chapter 1 . 6/5/2014
| Makokam chapter 14 . 5/9/2014
Ya know, for a fic labeled as a romance, there really wasn't much romance in it. I mean, until the chapter where they were like, "oh god I miss her sooooooooo much!" I wasn't even sure they'd started feeling like that about each other. There were also a few times were you seemed to jump around/ahead a little too much, and there were places were you really seemed to skip the good stuff. Like at the end. No Incredibles beat down on Skippy? What exactly happened to Mirage? Was it the explosion or the weapon that injured her? Where the hell WAS Helen anyway? A location that neither the agency or Mirage's people guessed?
Still, it was enjoyable. Obviously. Just wish there was more meat to it.
| Makokam chapter 13 . 5/9/2014
I feel like other people must have asked the same questions as me because they keep seeming to get answered in the next chapter.
Not all of them, but enough.
So how many messages did Skippy Screwloose leave anyway?
And it was nice to see Violet get group hugged at the end there. I hope she and ... Chi wrote work out. They're cut together. At least in this story.
Liked the comment about Mr incredible drooling so much she had to carry a mop with her.
| Makokam chapter 12 . 5/9/2014
How is this guy not being watched?!
He broke into an apartment without authorization, assaulted a civilian and super without orders to do anything regarding either of them, then threatened the civilians life!
Nice to see I was right about him being a psycho though. Sorta.
He's also a bigger idiot than I thought. How does he expect to take over the city or the agency with just a handful of gadgets? It's not like he can repair them himself, or refuel/recharge/reload them. Ugh. I can't wait to see this guy get his ass kicked.
And it was fun seeing Vi and Chi hook up. Sorta. You were a lot more descriptive in earlier chapters. Diff they just not do more than kiss or did you decide to tone it down!
| Makokam chapter 11 . 5/9/2014
I figured it was probably just Helen badmouthing Mirage to her family.
And of course Bob couldn't defend her or it'd just look suspicious.
Good chapter otherwise though. I liked seeingnher make nice with the Dad. Especially since he had the least to do with her... Misfortunes
The chat with Dicker was good too. I like that he took the blame for what happened by letting Johnson have so much freedom.
So what happened to him anyway? Arrested? Suspended? Jailed?
| Makokam chapter 10 . 5/9/2014
Ya know, I was willing to let it go with Helen, because she was paranoid about it in the movie, but why would Violet think she'd tried to sleep with her Dad? I'm pretty sure that outside of when she gave them the launch codes, they never met. And since we know Bob wasn't cheating on Helen, and we were shown nothing that hinted at Mirage trying to seduce him (aside from her just being her sexy ass self)
So yeah. Why did Violet think that?
| Makokam chapter 9 . 5/9/2014
Nice fight. But if by "null point energy generator" you meant the thing Syndrome had, then wouldn't that have been the first thing he'd try to use?
Helen has officially gone nuts, btw.
And Bob and Dicker are the only two characters I really like. Violet still seems like she's overreacting to pretty much everything, and Mirage still sounds a little evil/selfish in her intentions towards Violet.
Hopefully that last bit will change now.
| Makokam chapter 8 . 5/9/2014
Johnson is an idiot.
And maybe a little crazy.
Or maybe a lot crazy.
I wonder if the ending was something Violet did or if Bob or Lucius did it. Or maybe Helen.
The first bit was interesting. I liked the argument at the agency too.
| Makokam chapter 7 . 5/9/2014
...well. that escalated quickly.
| Makokam chapter 6 . 5/9/2014
Bob: -beat- oh thank god! You're just gay. We thought you were turning evil! HAHAHAHA!
Vi: WHAT?! You thought i was turning EVIL?!
Kari: Am i missing something here? It feels like i'm missing something. I mean, why would you think Kari was turning evil-
Kari: -and why would you be worried about it? I mean sure, no parent wants their kid to be evil-
Kari: But most parents don't WORRY about it. I mean, it's not like she has super powers or something *gasp* do you have super powers? Be cause that would be SO cool and-
sorry. got a little caried away there.
Anyway neat little chapter. I'm curious were this bit with Kari is going because Kari is obviously interested in Vi but this is a MiragexViolet story.
Speaking of which, is "Chi" supposed to be her actual name with "Mirage" being her, like, supervillain name? Like how Syndrome's real name is Buddy?
| Makokam chapter 5 . 5/8/2014
And obviously skippy doesn't understand that sometimes there are things that all the ice in the world can't protect you from.