Reviews for Invitations
Lukas McDrake chapter 1 . 5/27/2008
Wow. I never thought the story that way. When I read the script, I was thinking that Archadia is evil. Now that I think of it this way,'s very weird. It was random, and great, though!
Salina the Destiny Girl chapter 1 . 6/21/2007
Aw This is such a wonderful story! I've always wanted to have Ashe and Vayne be together. I surely hope that you'll write more of that.
JC4ever chapter 1 . 4/6/2007
You should continue writing more Ashe x Vayne. This is the only AsheVayne fic I've ever read. There needs to be more.
ninja . sora chapter 1 . 4/4/2007
You should write an AU with Ashe, Larsa and Vayne. Their world setting is perfect enough - princes and a princess - Ashe could be engaged to one of the older Solidor brothers but he dies so now she has to choose between Larsa and Vayne.. or something like that.

I love all the FFXII stories on FanFiction, but nobody's doing an alternate universe I like yet. :( You look like you could be my only hope. lol.
Ktjn chapter 1 . 4/4/2007
Their relationship developed faster than I expected it to, but you win points for writing this pairing. You win. Unique pairings and authors who attempt them always do.

opheliamlet chapter 1 . 1/18/2007
The pairing itself was enough to make me doubtful, but I wanted to give your fic a chance...

In the first few sentences of the beginning paragraph there were a few grammar mistakes, and I only point them out for how they impacted the reading experience: it jumbled the flow of the story. Constant repetition of the word "and" does this, too. You might want to re-read your text out loud and see how it sounds to you. If it sounds jumbled and confusing, it will be read as such. Try to be as clear as possible with what you want to say. That's the only way a reader can understand what you see in your head.

There's also some confusion with your descriptions... Ashe takes a deep breath, but when she lets it out there's "hardly any at all"? And the dialogue, though not as refined as XII's, is excuseable if you are doing this AU. If not... Ashe doesn't talk that way-and certainly not to Vayne. Vayne was OK at times (his line of "Perhaps…oh I don’t know…Ashe" was really OOC, though), in that he seemed to speak with a refined lilt, but Ashe sounds far too familiar and improper. I don't know if that's something you'd want to work on.

The interaction between Vayne and Ashe, as well as the pairing itself, begs the question: Is this AU (Alternate Universe), as in, doesn't happen within the realm of the game's events and story? And if so, I think it would be helpful to go into an explanation of that so as not to confuse people who think that you are taking the characters as they stand in the game and pairing them off. If it isn't.. I still don't see how this pairing could work. Ashe has nothing but contempt for Vayne, and though she once loathed House Solidor with Larsa she learns to feel respect for him-but not for his brother. Vayne has done too much to her country for her to feel anything kind to him and she certainly wouldn't marry him. I think if you tried to explain *why* they feel this way, it would be very helpful to your fic.

With everything that I said above.. I really can't see why Vayne, a heartless, megalomaniacal, power-hungry tyrant would suddenly drop his domination plans just because he saw Ashe smile and needs an heir-nor can I see him returning Dalmasca to its former state.

The idea has potential, but there's also work to be done should it reach said potential. I hope this review doesn't bother you, as I think constructive criticism to be anything but detrimental to writers. Good luck with what you write, and should you continue this fic.
Skitty 2004 chapter 1 . 1/18/2007
engaged before they shared a kiss? Wow... In today's world that's pretty amazing... but you know way back I think in the Medieval times or sometime around then it was actually just about forbidden to kiss before you were engaged. XD so anyways... the story did kind of seem a bit rushed but overall I think I like it. And it's like... one of the first VaynexAshe stories if not the first. so, good job! _ Keep Writing!
Captain L chapter 1 . 1/18/2007
That's a neat idea, but it would have to be AU (alternate universe). When you finish the game, you'll understand.

Vayne would probably be straight-forward, but very, very subtle.
Larsa Solidor chapter 1 . 1/18/2007
I like it.