|Reviews for To An End|
| x3eloved chapter 1 . 7/13/2013
An old favorite is still a good favorite :] This is one of the memorable Riku x Namine pieces I've read... and I've read too many xD
| mirai3k chapter 1 . 12/19/2007
"Naminé was silent for a long time, knowing deep inside her not-heart that he was not hers."
why is KH full of such heartbreaking people? First Riku, then Roxas, then...just about half the darn crew!
anyway, I think you did them justice, and made me like Namine a lot more than the game did.
| Fire Kitten chapter 1 . 7/23/2007
Whee i'm back! and registered for classes (5 college class i'm gonna die)
anyways, on to reviewing. wow i still have a lot left to wade through, but thats good! gives me something to do.
To An End, interesting title. Had lotsa meanings that one. Riku's end to himself, Namine's end of usefullness, Roxas' soon to be end of nobodyness.
Wow, none of that made much sense.
Hehe Riku/Kairi is definitly lacking out in the world. Good ones that is. Namines fair game though.
grr DiZ hate DiZ shall alwasy hate him! He;s such a jerk! Namine is more then data she;s a a... cool person *nods*
I love the whole complex Namine has between Riku and Roxas, like she worries about Riku and hopes he wins but at the same time hopes Roxas gets away and lives a good life. it's cute.
'Riku, without a question, belonged to Sora and to no one else.' I totally went SQUEE when I read that hehehe i'm such a total riku/sora fan... it's unhealthy.
I really like the whole Riku is really hurt and Namine helps heal him and such, it was a cute scene.
The ending is sad, bound to happen but still sad. Riku why why did you have to turn into that ugly bugger! ah well he comes back in the end.
I still like your characterization of Namine and i love Riku's hehe he's like perfect, angsty and mean and spirited all at once.
| Claws chapter 1 . 4/25/2007
I'm falling in love with your fics... XD you write everything I wanted to read, but didn't know where to find. *was the annoymous who commented on Set of Threes*
Awesome! I shall get reading on your... wow... 40 other KH fics... O.O OuO *grins happily and runs off*
| Aberrant Zeitgeist chapter 1 . 4/22/2007
Hello again :D
Again, your use of description is good here. I've seen fics before where it seems like line after line, it's just people talking, and only occasionally will description, introspection, or exposition take place. Good job, on this part.
There are a few places where a comma should be used. One rule of thumb is that they come generally where there is a pause, though this isn't always true. I'll find a few examples:
*with her shy and hesitant smile and he couldn’t help but smile back at her.*
*with her shy and hesitant smile, and he couldn't help but smile back at her.*
*turn her attention to the center of her room where a dark shadow was sprawled on the ground. *
*turn her attention to the center of her room, where a dark shadow was sprawled on the ground. *
It's small stuff. Nothing serious.
A note about dialogue...you do it well enough, but here are some things for future consideration: It's okay to have character say multiple sentences at once. Sometimes authors make them say only a little before throwing in description and then having them say more. When people talk, it isn't uncommon for them to say several sentences at once without pause. That isn't to say that shorter sentences are bad, but you can experiment with longer ones too.
The length of your one shot was good. It didn't have any pointless filler events, nor did it feel rushed. It gave a nice look at the time before Riku turned to Ansem, and at Namine's feelings about that.
You have quite a collection of one shots on your profile! :O
| LunaLocket chapter 1 . 2/10/2007
That story was sad yet up the good work.-
| xoRaining Diamondsox chapter 1 . 2/5/2007
Nice! Very touching, and fits the game IMO. I like how it takes place in between CoM and KHII. Descriptions were well written, and emotions captured nicely. Overall, a job well done!
| FangedWriter chapter 1 . 1/25/2007
I like it! Good descriptions and everything, good job!
| eternalnemesis chapter 1 . 1/24/2007
Wow...this was good! I liked it. I especially like the fact that it's a namiku based more on canon...if you know what I mean. Like, it didn't have to be AU for the namiku pairing to work. Yes, I definitely liked this one. :)
The descriptions were very nice; a beautifully understated theme that left the reader captivated and asking for more. Their relationship was sweet and nice.
| Orin Drake chapter 1 . 1/19/2007
Ah, Riku. Poor kid goes through much more than he deserved. And now I find myself feeling a bit for Namine, too. She had her own burdens, with small shares of the burdens of others piled on top of that. It was a nice little insight... and the ending is definitely lingering.
| Out of the Orange chapter 1 . 1/18/2007
I LOVED this! It was very well-written. It's so rare to find any KH fiction that keeps everyone so nicely in-character, never mention a fic that utilizes a non-canon pairings. You freaking rock.
I found it especially interesting because I've been working on something very like this myself. X3. Yours is a lot more raw, though. You did a lurvely job.
| SupaNinja4Evah chapter 1 . 1/18/2007
so cute. really really bittersweet though. i like it.
| ChibiFrubaGirl chapter 1 . 1/18/2007
Aw, very sweet! I liked it!
I've always loved the idea of Riku going to Namine after he loses to Roxas-
Damn you Roxas.
Anywho good job! Keep it up!