Reviews for On Atrocity
laviere chapter 1 . 7/18/2014
Whoa... Beautiful, I think. Really. It's really good.
Alkyonides Meres chapter 1 . 4/10/2013
I loved it. I think people often overlook the possible horrors he suffered in the hands of Orochimaru. Very realistic. Thank you for sharing.
jessica-semnadaprafaze123 chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
i need to remember to breathe.
IVIaedhros chapter 1 . 7/4/2010
Absolutely beautiful.
crookshies chapter 1 . 3/17/2010
i liked it...
MistressArafaxdeep chapter 1 . 4/25/2008
This was very interesting. I loved the insight into Sasuke's twisted mind. It really worked well. Hinata was also written well.
somesortofthing chapter 1 . 3/22/2008
chibismiles5266 chapter 1 . 4/16/2007
wow, interesting.
emmy.raen chapter 1 . 2/24/2007
Hm. Kinda deep.
b chapter 1 . 2/13/2007
Great Orochimaru here all the characters where interesting.
KamikazeUdon chapter 1 . 1/22/2007
wow...dark and angsty...i like the emotion of sasuke, the conflict. the characters come alive with emotion...nice.
Oxygen Pirate chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
You know, your stories really helped me like Sasuke as a character, i already loved hinata, but your such a good writer!
KokololioSOL chapter 1 . 1/20/2007
I love this story!
Essyllus chapter 1 . 1/20/2007
To start off, there are a few problems with your grammar. I don't claim to know everything since I'm still learning, but here are two things that occur multiple times that I want to point out.


[It's nature was quiet before, ghostly.] "Its" should be used to indicate possessive.

[More then just one another's company.] The word should be "than" instead of "then".

There is also an uncapitalized word in the first paragraph which is, what I assume, a typo. You might want to fix that. :]

As for characterization, I found it weird that Hinata totally forgot about Naruto. I don't see why she is so devoted to Sasuke. She acts more like Sakura near the end when she argues with him, pleading for him to get counseling. I know that this is a sequel-ish fic to your other SasuHina story, but, in my view, characterization should still stand in a one shot. The same goes with Sasuke though I appreciated this part:

[That was what Orochimaru would have done, Sasuke was certain. Talked to her. Upset her. Penetrated her, twisted her better nature shut, like a pinched artery, severed hands. Messed her up, used her. Sasuke knew. Knew it unemotionally. He held himself still and thought that he would never do that, right? Never. But knew.]

I like this concept and it explores his inner demons. The writing style offers some great imagery but it can be a bit overbearing at times when you just forget /what/ the story is talking about.