|Reviews for Little Sisters Are Hell|
| zan chapter 1 . 5/13/2007
yes, its me. no i haven't died.. no yet atleast... since ur wanna of my favourite authors thought i would just drop by and tell u.. lol i totally love this fic by the way
umm... what else was i gonna say?
| AnimeRulez08 chapter 1 . 2/5/2007
I really love this one! I do I promise!
Please senpai continue your chapters arrigatou!
| tomdj1701 chapter 1 . 1/22/2007
Nicely done. Though there were a few Cap. errors. Still good.
| Wonderbee31 chapter 1 . 1/22/2007
Hmm, looking to be interesting, and wondering who Michiko might end up setting Keitaro up with?
| Rakhara chapter 1 . 1/22/2007
As always, work on your grammar.
| The light of darkness chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
fellow dark icon writer, First off, Tsuruko calls Keitaro: manager-san. just a little area in this first chapter. other than that, its interesting enough to keep my eye on it. continue please.
| Ruto Kuntai chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
Great work, this seems to be quite a well written story, I am looking forward to reading the following chapters.
Take it easy,
| Jakinbandw chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
Intresting begining. but please. get a prereader to read this. go into storys section where it shows all of your stories. then eport the chapter 1. click on the link up on top. then fix what your prereader tells you to fix. save go back into the stories section. and replace chapter 1 with the knew chapter one. Please!
after you are done put edited in the description
| TornadoReviewer chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
Well well...nice story you've got still is a one crazy b but Keitaro is way too wimpy.
Sure he's not a type of macho and all but still don't make him look like an oversensitive mouse-he was sorry to hurt Naru , alrigh but after she slapped him?Hm.
Anyway I like Motoko's creation "sorry" scene was a classic.
As for the new character-she seems iteresting and I wonder what will happen during her stay in Hinata.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
| Eric chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
Did you proof read this?
The other reviewer was indeed correct, these writting groups have little to no talent.
| bigdave chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
nice story. it looks like it will have a good plot to it. now for the criticism. whatever program you are using to do this story with you might want to use the spell and grammer check in the tools option. i noticed a lot of places where there should have been a comma but there wasn't.
when it comes to thought's instead of using a ', put the thoughts in italics.
also motoko was very Ooc, unless the time line you are using is after the manga but before the marrage.
one final thought. before posting the next chapter, write the chapter out either on your computer or on paper and then go back the next day and read what you wrote. you will find most if not all of the mistakes or area's you feel you need to change.
i think you have a good story going.
| alzen chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
you suck at this. all of these cruddy writing groups have no talent. how pathetic.