|Reviews for Lionking Simba's Pride Simba's Human Daughter|
| Guest chapter 17 . 8/14
| Guest chapter 2 . 1/26
People are gonna hate me for this but which is why I am guest so I don't care.
The story is... Meh... Honestly. It's hard to read because of the grammar issues and the pacing. Speaking of which, the story is basically JUST lion king two, however just add the human girl. Same lines, same story, same pacing as movie. You really need creativity. Which is why it's called a FANfiction. You make up your own stuff not recreate the movie and just add in a human girl. It's boring to read a story that copies movies/other stories.
As a suggestion, make it up along as you go so people don't get bored. If you want to grab a readers attention BE CREATIVE. I have reviewed many fan fictions and I want yours to succeed. But honestly, to story is just hard to read because it basically copies the movie.
Also, the pacing in the beginning was just... Confusing. Okay, so there's a abusive orphan care person and somehow she's in Africa...? Like did this orphanage take place in Africa or something? I'm confused. You need to make things more clear. How did she end up in the orphanage, why did the abuser hurt the abusee? How did she even get to Africa? Was it a trip...? Was it work stuff, did her parents die from lions or other predators?
All in all the story is just boring to me. It just copies the movie and adds in Annalise/Quinn. Please be more creative with stories that way it grabs the attention of other readers. Though I won't penalize you for the story. Most TLK fan fictions like these are just all around terrible written.
| Guest chapter 15 . 11/14/2015
It ok u a great reader but why she keep glaring at the people with guns I hope she know if they get scares cause Simba either looking angry or Rawr and shoot him she can't blame cause they thought he was gonna harm them and I hope she know that she can't be mad about that it not like they kill him but yea I gasp if they shoot him but I won't blame them
| idk chapter 15 . 11/14/2015
Why are Quinn and anlise acting and talking like they aren't human and they didn't come from the same state as the other human and that crazy if she think just Cause king Sinbad a king the humans won't let him have to ride in a cage or put him to sleep
| Guest chapter 8 . 11/14/2015
Thank you Disneyqueen and you didn't have to say that we should thank her that will make people not want to that and also feel like you demanded them
| Guest chapter 7 . 11/14/2015
It great but how Can analise and her friend Are the only one that can talk to and understand what the animals saying why not every human beings cause the animals talk like us it just make sense I still like this fanfiction though
| Guest chapter 5 . 11/14/2015
It ok I understand it happens and great story
| Guest chapter 3 . 11/14/2015
It a great story
| Rodrigo Guinea chapter 17 . 8/28/2015
| AnimeVulpaGirl chapter 17 . 7/25/2015
| SailorSedna052 chapter 17 . 8/30/2014
Will it be possible to continue or at least make an ending?
| Mari chapter 17 . 7/31/2014
plz continue this is very interesting
| sazana4life chapter 16 . 6/14/2014
Please continue this
| samanthatm chapter 4 . 1/23/2014
| Noxy the Proxy chapter 17 . 7/30/2013
This is really interesting. I wonder what happens next.