|Reviews for Vividness|
| iitrnr chapter 10 . 3/9
Enjoyed the story so far. Thanks.
| Son of Whitebeard chapter 10 . 2/2
| Elquenodebesernombrado chapter 9 . 1/12
Vivi can touch it would Crocodile Desert Princess touching Mr. 2 could change appearance may play a Tech would have a good advantage at least a copy of his power if only partial.
| Anon Grammar Fix chapter 8 . 1/10
The life you've lead
led not lead
(who didn't even have concussion,
| Diclonious57 chapter 1 . 7/12/2013
| Two Week Cooldown chapter 8 . 7/5/2011
Great chapter! I do mean that.
Nice use of your devil fruit drawbacks. Nice handling of Vivi's battle abilities... now I have a *much* better idea of her powers and place in the crew. Also, nice blending of canon sources - movie/manga/anime.
Good luck with the Alabasta arc, and please make that name change.
I'm out for now... hope to read that next chapter sometime this month. Thanks again for the story.
| Two Week Cooldown chapter 7 . 7/5/2011
It's Drum Island. Gags similar to manga; though I liked the featuring of Vivi in the cliff climb.
| Two Week Cooldown chapter 6 . 7/5/2011
Filler, but good character development. Addresses the concerns about Vivi's 'place in this crew'. Oh, and not sure how much I like Miss Valentine. The story shouldn't be about her, don't get side-tracked.
| Two Week Cooldown chapter 5 . 7/5/2011
Hmm, now that you've caught Vivi up to the normal One Piece tiemline, I hope you'll switching over to more scenes and less summaries. You've given Vivi 'various unnamed mentors' and put her on the Sanji-Zoro tier. This seems ambitious, vague, and perhaps threatening her unique identity. That's my impression this chapter.
| Two Week Cooldown chapter 4 . 7/5/2011
That spiky-haired change you made to Vivi is hard to picture, and I bet your mental picture and descriptions don't reflect it well later. Consider dropping it?
| Two Week Cooldown chapter 3 . 7/5/2011
You are overusing the word 'finally'.
| Two Week Cooldown chapter 2 . 7/5/2011
Love how you used the chapter title as a combo-breaker for that stupid share option on the upper left. That interrupts story flow so much. Maybe you should do that for chapter one too.
Otherwise, just 'Alabasta' again.
| Two week cooldown chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
It's Alabasta, with an L. I get how the 'ara' sound is more battle-orientated, and fits in the theme of the fic better, but it's fanfiction. Alabasta is strong canon. Just like I hold Harrison Potter or Billy Baggins in contempt for being slightly out of tune, I think you need a fix on that name.
Next, that perv-Kohza thing needs to go. He's five. Enough said.
Finally, it sounds like other reviews have given you a bunch of crap, but I think those authors notes at the bottom need to be condensed and less spoilish.
I'll try and give a chapter by chapter.
| Robert Jordan Forever chapter 8 . 6/20/2011
Nice job with the plot. You messed up Chessmarimo's name when Valentine takes him out. Also his/is somewhere. You're the first author who actually fixes minor cosmetic stuff like that with new chapters. I like it.
| avatoa chapter 8 . 6/19/2011
I'm sure that you can think of something that will work. Good luck to you, my man!