Reviews for Vividness
iitrnr chapter 10 . 3/9/2015
Enjoyed the story so far. Thanks.
Son of Whitebeard chapter 10 . 2/2/2015
great attacks
Elquenodebesernombrado chapter 9 . 1/12/2015
Vivi can touch it would Crocodile Desert Princess touching Mr. 2 could change appearance may play a Tech would have a good advantage at least a copy of his power if only partial.
Anon Grammar Fix chapter 8 . 1/10/2015
The life you've lead
led not lead

(who didn't even have concussion,
Diclonious57 chapter 1 . 7/12/2013
interesting interesting
Two Week Cooldown chapter 8 . 7/5/2011
Great chapter! I do mean that.

Nice use of your devil fruit drawbacks. Nice handling of Vivi's battle abilities... now I have a *much* better idea of her powers and place in the crew. Also, nice blending of canon sources - movie/manga/anime.

Good luck with the Alabasta arc, and please make that name change.

I'm out for now... hope to read that next chapter sometime this month. Thanks again for the story.
Two Week Cooldown chapter 7 . 7/5/2011
It's Drum Island. Gags similar to manga; though I liked the featuring of Vivi in the cliff climb.
Two Week Cooldown chapter 6 . 7/5/2011
Filler, but good character development. Addresses the concerns about Vivi's 'place in this crew'. Oh, and not sure how much I like Miss Valentine. The story shouldn't be about her, don't get side-tracked.
Two Week Cooldown chapter 5 . 7/5/2011
Hmm, now that you've caught Vivi up to the normal One Piece tiemline, I hope you'll switching over to more scenes and less summaries. You've given Vivi 'various unnamed mentors' and put her on the Sanji-Zoro tier. This seems ambitious, vague, and perhaps threatening her unique identity. That's my impression this chapter.
Two Week Cooldown chapter 4 . 7/5/2011
That spiky-haired change you made to Vivi is hard to picture, and I bet your mental picture and descriptions don't reflect it well later. Consider dropping it?
Two Week Cooldown chapter 3 . 7/5/2011
You are overusing the word 'finally'.
Two Week Cooldown chapter 2 . 7/5/2011
Love how you used the chapter title as a combo-breaker for that stupid share option on the upper left. That interrupts story flow so much. Maybe you should do that for chapter one too.

Otherwise, just 'Alabasta' again.
Two week cooldown chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
It's Alabasta, with an L. I get how the 'ara' sound is more battle-orientated, and fits in the theme of the fic better, but it's fanfiction. Alabasta is strong canon. Just like I hold Harrison Potter or Billy Baggins in contempt for being slightly out of tune, I think you need a fix on that name.

Next, that perv-Kohza thing needs to go. He's five. Enough said.

Finally, it sounds like other reviews have given you a bunch of crap, but I think those authors notes at the bottom need to be condensed and less spoilish.

I'll try and give a chapter by chapter.
Robert Jordan Forever chapter 8 . 6/20/2011
Nice job with the plot. You messed up Chessmarimo's name when Valentine takes him out. Also his/is somewhere. You're the first author who actually fixes minor cosmetic stuff like that with new chapters. I like it.
avatoa chapter 8 . 6/19/2011
I'm sure that you can think of something that will work. Good luck to you, my man!
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