|Reviews for Masquerade|
| Legendary Biologist chapter 5 . 10/29
Heartbreaking. Period. All I can say in this chapter is: "Poor Takeshi."
The way you describe the unrequited love between Takeshi and his wife is very emotional. It's clear that Yoko doesn't truly love him. Also, Takeshi can't seem to truly love her either. His heart is still at Lilika.
And the way how their intimate moment suddenly comes to a stop is well-paced. At this point, I know that something is going down. And Yoko's tone of asking Takeshi just gives me chills. Again, I know that this won't be good for Takeshi.
And she SLAPS him. Ouch. That's tragic. But the saddest thing is this line: ["If you love her, why don't you go back to her?"] That's...harsh. Poor Takeshi can't return to Lilika of course. He's hurt her so bad by marrying Yoko without saying anything about it to Lilika. And he's trapped (maybe) forever in sorrow.
I'm pretty sure that the last few paragraphs have got something wrong there. Since we've been inside Takeshi's head throughout this chapter, it suddenly jumps to Yoko's head. Or maybe it's a typo? You keep using she/her there. Moreover, those last few paragraphs seem to belong to Takeshi, since they're more fitting for his character.
And if they are actually Takeshi's, again, I love how you show how sensitive and sad he is, despite his seemingly insensitive exterior. That's just Takeshi.
That aside, well done! Um, I guess I've read everything here! Do update someday. :D
| Legendary Biologist chapter 4 . 10/29
[wrecked havoc] - Pretty sure that you mean [wrought havoc] here. :)
I like how this chapter is more focused on Lilika's post-canon life. Now, she's become a teacher, which I think is a fitting profession for her (considering that she is the one who keeps Tobita Club organized back then). Not to mention that she's the most motherly character in the team. Too bad that things don't seem to go smoothly in her life.
You do really well at portraying the troublesome class here. Fighting kids who just can't stop fighting are truly a nightmare for teachers. And oboy... Kids starting to color the floor and the wall? I can really relate to Lilika thinking that she may get fired because of this mess.
That second scene is surprising. Truly surprising, although from the name Takeru, I've been suspecting that this may be Takeshi's son. Which means that Takeshi has married someone else? It definitely has my interest, because if he has, I wonder how Lilika will react to this.
And Takeshi... He just remains that cool and calm. As if the fact that he marries someone else without telling Lilika never hurts Lilika. Well, as usual, that's the insensitive Takeshi we know.
The last scene is a fantastic scene that conveys Lilika's sadness at that. The angst! :D I know that Lilika will be very upset, because Takeshi marries someone else without telling Lilika anything about it. And these fragments [Game over. Fin. Owari. End of story.] just show her frustration very well. True. Maybe if Takeshi had straight up told her that he doesn't love her, it wouldn't have stung so bad.
A small quibble: Although associating sadness and rain is pretty much a cliche in a story, I think this doesn't really detract here (because the raining background is just mentioned briefly).
| Legendary Biologist chapter 3 . 10/29
When this chapter starts, I'm like, what are Takeshi and Lilika doing? Lilika is waiting for a phone call or something, but what surprises me most at the start is how Lilika thinks of men as insensitive brats. Well, Takeshi and insensitivity are two words that go along well...on the surface anyway!
Lilika's struggle not to fall asleep is well-written; it makes me feel her frustration at waiting for Takeshi's call or message. She is relate-able there, because staying up late at night just for a possibly-not-gonna-come message or call is very, very annoying. Especially when you gotta get up early next morning or have an exam the next day.
This is where broken grammar is used well for stylistic thing. Heh, Takeshi. No wonder why Lilika is so annoyed at him. He's just...typing those broken sentences. They're still readable, but of course, for someone else, they'll come across as childish. :P
Considering what Takeshi has done throughout (seriously, keeping on writing those broken sentences?) and how much he has annoyed Lilika, I start to remember how much I hate that arrogant, insensitive Takeshi back when I watch CGT. XD Yep. The way he tells a crying Lilika to simply go to sleep is just that annoying Takeshi. But then, like in the show itself, it doesn't mean that he is completely insensitive. That last part, in which he actually takes a look at Lilika through the window and IS ABOUT TO CRY... I just can't help but feel sorry for him. Also, that makes him more human and likeable; he knows he's wrong, yet he can't possibly approach Lilika now.
As always, I love your characterization of Takeshi! Well done!
| Legendary Biologist chapter 2 . 10/29
What an intense beginning! Really, Takeshi? That's...not a good way to say goodbye to a girl. Poor Lilika.
[If he wanted to say goodbye, he would've found a way,] - I think [would've] here doesn't sound right, considering that Lilika isn't so happy with the book. [should've] sounds better, since this sentence will mean that Lilika wishes that Takeshi has found another way to say goodbye.
When everything ends, then I find out that Takeshi is actually a romantic guy despite all the arrogance he sports throughout the anime (but not without some vulnerabilities). And oboy, the content of that book. The imagery of the doodle is so, so cute and lovely. And those last two lines. Takeshi! :P
When everything ends and I reread this chapter again, the first part is just twice as heartbreaking, because at first, I haven't really known what that 'stupid inspirational book' is all about and as a result, Takeshi just ends up as a stupid, childish guy. But now, it's clear that Takeshi is more sensitive than one can ever think. He just can't directly admit how much he loves Lilika and looks forward to their reunion in the future, so he creates that book and gives it to Lilika. So sad, and it makes Takeshi even more likeable. It's very clever in terms of stylistic stuff!
Very well done!
| Legendary Biologist chapter 1 . 10/29
Now, this is so bittersweet!
I love how you portray Takeshi's devotion towards Yuhya and the mentions of his way of turning Kouya into the World Champion of Crush Gear. Well, he isn't nice to Kouya; to be exact, he just acts as an arrogant guy towards Kouya. But in a way, harsh as it may be, it actually strengthens Kouya as a Gear Fighter. This is so true to his canon character.
Saying that it actually pains him just adds to the fact that he truly wants Kouya to be a great Gear Fighter, which further shows his devotion towards Yuhya. This really makes him more sympathetic.
Although short, I like how this piece plays on the theme of moving on. Yuhya's gone, but it's still hard for Takeshi to just take Lilika away from Yuhya. Which is really understandable, considering that his devotion towards Yuhya is just that amazing.
The way you portray Takeshi's inability to 'betray' Yuhya is also great. Takeshi loves Lilika, but Lilika also loves Yuhya. And according to Takeshi, if he is truly Yuhya's best friend, he isn't supposed to love Lilika, although Yuhya is long gone. It's to the point he curses himself for falling in love with her. It shows how loyal Takeshi can be as a friend, though him idolizing Yuhya as a Gear Fighter does play a role in this.
And what makes this part even more heartbreaking is how Takeshi is kinda certain that this will be a kind of unrequited love. :(
Whenever I watch CGT, I always think that Takeshi is just a really despicable and arrogant Gear Fighter, at least until his vulnerabilities are shown through his flashbacks of Yuhya. But this just makes me view him in a different light because he has his hidden depth. He may be harsh to Kouya, but he wants Kouya to be a successful Gear Fighter. When everything is over, he even still can't get over the grief of losing Yuhya. And he brings that into consideration when thinking of Lilika, the woman he AND Yuhya love, putting him in such a pain when thinking of loving Lilika. This shows how deep he is as a character and makes him even more human and likeable.
*applauds* You've made me totally in love with Takeshi's character. XD
PS. Since CGT fandom is pretty dead, I thought you'd be interested in joining this forum. The forum is called "The Plight of the Little-Known Fandom", a support group for authors for small/dead fandoms. Here's the link:
www . fanfiction forum / The-Plight-of-the-Little-Known-Fandom / 178363 /
Just edit out the spaces. I'd love to see you there!
| desy1156 chapter 1 . 6/15/2010
I think you need to rewrite this and just make it into a full on story. The first chapter ties so well with the last 2 chapters and I really think it could go somewhere. I can't even begin to say all the wonderful and painful things that you could do to your characters.
Please, resurrect this fic .
| Evil Riggs chapter 1 . 5/14/2007
Probably not enough to be quite self-contained. Still, it's a neat little story. I endorse this event or product.
| miaka chapter 4 . 1/30/2007
takeshi, what happened?
i really could'nt understand...
kazie san!i notice you always write tragic endings..but please spare this one...hehe..i really love takeshixlilika...
| miaka chapter 3 . 1/30/2007
gr...why didn't they just snap out of it?
but i think i know why takeshi was like that (assuming!) hehe*winks*...
| miaka chapter 2 . 1/30/2007
i can't help to read and read and read and read this one again...
*sigh* she should have read the " book"...but i can't blame her...
anyweiz, what takeshi had written-"Wait for me. I’ll come back for you."- reminds me of my tamahome...hehe..
way to go kazie san!
| miaka chapter 5 . 1/30/2007
yoko's situation is pitiful but i couldn't bring myself to sympathize with her...
but i love takeshixlilika!*grins*
kazie san!can't wait for your next post!-
| miaka chapter 3 . 1/28/2007
| miaka chapter 4 . 1/28/2007
kazie-san! this is so sad...you made me cry again...