|Reviews for Demon's Fall|
| In another life 1 chapter 17 . 7/4/2014
Okay...just what universe was this in? Okay obviously there were shinobi but then how come Sakura or Naruto never used their abilities. Like healing chakra! Then what if Sakura wasn't a shinobi, why did she have to go see hinata for bandages if she also studied medicine under tsunade? She would be able to bandage herself..
Then I feel like you just conveniently switched around ages. We don't find out Naruto is a year older till it's convenient and Sakura needs someone to live with. Also if it was her freaking birthday, and she essentially turned 18, why the hell did she need to move in with someone who was legally an adult?
Furthermore you should make clear separation in the future between scenes, it was just jumping around all over the place.
If in the begging Sasuke could just appear/teleport wherever Sakura was, why did he need to go searching for her everywhere?
Most of the dialogue was useless, it was to extensive and should have definetly been way less. The back and forth replies were slow and didn't really advance anything.
Also a coma?! It just wasn't very original. The cliffhangers were annoying, they didn't make me want to read on. It didn't intrigue me or make me "hate" you. It just was predictable and made me think "what was the point of that?". In the end I just finished reading it because I'd already read most of it. It isn't badly written, I actually enjoyed your prose. You should work on content and character development, and editing your work. I'm sorry if you consider this a flame or something or discredit my opinion because it's just one persons opinion. But I feel like part of the appeal of is that you get direct feedback. Work on your writing and I look forward to any of your future stories.
PS: I thought the kissing scene was written really well. I really liked how you used inner sakura.
| shadowereign chapter 1 . 6/22/2014
Awesome. Please write more. Youre a great author. :)
| The Sharingan Wielder chapter 17 . 6/3/2014
Wow... This story was great. That's all I can think of to say right now.
| yami himitsu chapter 17 . 4/23/2014
this fanfic was super cool. i loved your writing style and your ideas. they are very creative and you do know where you are taking your story. i hope to see more of u and please i have a small request. write more "T" rated fanfics. i feel comfortable with them and, and, and more sasusaku! and NOT a sad 1! i will appreciate it. lol!
| WonderRin chapter 17 . 4/3/2014
AWESOME! I read this over and over on my phone, and I still love it!
I love your writing, and I hope you keep it up!
| Scarlet chapter 17 . 4/2/2014
I love this story! Especially the title! Everything here is just perfect. Well, but i still don't understand about the Akatsuki though...
| BlackxxCherry chapter 16 . 1/16/2014
I loved the story, but I wanted to point out a few things.
First, for more than half of this fic I was confused whether this was a modern au fic or not. Sakura's a medic-nin, right? Even if you made her in this fic not a medic, she's still a shinobi, since you mentioned Sasuke was sparring with team three before he died. So could she not stand up to him?
You mentioned he's a police, but I was sure he's a civilian. So naruto would've had an easy time beating him. Any shinobi would. Of course, unless her father was a shinobi as well. But he only beat, and he never used kunai or any shinobi related skills to beat her.
Also, if Sasuke was on Sakura team, wouldn't she and naruto recognize him? It had only been two years since his death. How could they forget him so quickly?
But overall this fic was very interesting and well written. Awesome job!
| Purpleriver13 chapter 17 . 8/20/2013
OMYGOSH this story was absolutely stunning. Thank you so much for writing it. You are a fantastic author and I literally spent the last 3 days of my life reading all of your works :)
| akaneharuko chapter 17 . 6/29/2013
Incredible! I really love this fic! I-I-I'm speechless really! Ahhh btw lav yall
| Sakura Yui chapter 17 . 6/21/2013
This is awesome! Omg! I like it very much! Although I feel bad because Sakura lost her memories about Sasuke.. Hurm..
| FoReVeRaSASUSAKULoVeR chapter 17 . 6/10/2013
I Very Like Your Story
For Me It's Soo Breathtaking
I Mean The Story... WOW! It's Soooooooooooooo Addictive
Thanks For The Wonderful Story...
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/9/2013
i knew it'll be awesome! i didnt know what to chose so i picked this one, i'll read all of u stories :) but i'll avoid da M rated cause i hate those stuff anyway great job as always!
| BoomPowMina chapter 17 . 6/1/2013
NOOOOO ITS OVER! I DONT WANT IT TO BE OVER! WAAAAAAAAAH D': THAT WAS AN AWESOME STORY! GOOD JOB, YOU ROCK! THANKS FOR POSTING IT! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
| BoomPowMina chapter 15 . 6/1/2013
I am crying... HE LEFT ON HER BIRTHDAY! That bastard...YOU BETTER COME BACK BAKAAAAAAAA
| BoomPowMina chapter 14 . 6/1/2013
NO NO NO NO NO NOOO SAKURAAA D':