|Reviews for NaturePhobia|
| Mantlady chapter 5 . 2/18/2013
Stranger things have happened, and this is a good and entertaining story.
| nita chapter 5 . 8/24/2010
Please continue this. I am really interested!
| silverflight8 chapter 1 . 4/13/2009
You write excellent prose and the style is great, but I think you might want some help with the dialogue and with the general appearence of your work in general...there are plenty of places where-no offense-just a capitalized letter or a few well-placed commas would have made a difference. Remember that when you've got "" marks, you must also capitalize the first letter!
Otherwise, your writing is excellent. I hope the next chapter actually involves the Frasers, though!
| Voelver chapter 3 . 4/8/2008
So that's not really a chapter is it? Perhaps you could work the story in another direction. Imagine the shock it must be for Jasmine to experience the nature and village. Perhaps you could introduce everything through her eyes, then she might be convinced and if not, perhaps travelling back to New York would convince her. Still I think you need to evolve the descripsions. Now one thing is nature, but how will she react to the fact, that she'll need to ride a horse? That might make a very nice chapter. Then of course there's eting real food, how would she react?
The dialog is fast and rather funny, but you could improve it a lot, by imagining what Claire thinks and by decribing, what she does and her expression and stuff.
The idea for this story is really good, and I'd love to read more. Voelver
| Voelver chapter 2 . 4/8/2008
| Voelver chapter 1 . 4/8/2008
This is a very good opening chapter. It creates a lot of possibilities and tension, which is a good outset for the story. I can just imagine how horribly funny the rest of the story will become. You could perhaps improve the story by setting the scene more by describing Jasmines home enviroment. Voelver
| micheal damoah chapter 3 . 3/29/2008
whst wrio nnv grgfdh uffhykf tjgdsfh fhdgfg
| IthilielCuivienien chapter 2 . 5/12/2007
A really nice start! I hope to read more soon!
| lolita chapter 2 . 3/11/2007
i really like it so far. Update soon