Reviews for Jasper in Gym
Retta Cullen i wish chapter 1 . 12/31/2007
very well written.

well done

my favourite jasper story by far!

Retta
scorchedtrees chapter 1 . 12/23/2007
I like it, and how you portrayed everyone, and everything. Good job...
Selonianth chapter 1 . 12/20/2007
poor jasper
Jaye Black chapter 1 . 12/19/2007
Oh, JazzJazz...

Great job on this. :) I loved the Civil War bits in the beginning. *heart*
AssassinedAngel chapter 1 . 11/3/2007
Very Jasper like. I enjoyed your word usage and your incredible amount of detail.
Eicklehart chapter 1 . 10/8/2007
i know you said that you weren't going to continue this one, but it seems so incomplete. Maybe you should write a sequel or something, because i was looking for the "next chapter" button. still, very good
Moonpetal Lily chapter 1 . 8/2/2007
Aww, poor Jasper! The Civil War flashback was a nice touch.
theenvylover chapter 1 . 7/31/2007
oh em gee,

that was amazingly well written!

if i had your attention span i would be doing better in school...

:D

well,

i envy you and your writing skills...

:P

but i'm glad i read it

:D
blackjack17 chapter 1 . 7/19/2007
I liked it. It was a lot different than what i've read before, and there aren't many jasper fanfics out there, so all in all i loved it! Great job!
tongue tied 16 chapter 1 . 7/6/2007
Wow. I love the way Jasper thinks that Edward will never suffer like he does, and yet that exact day is when Bella walks into his life. The irony was brilliant! I think this piece is wonderful; I keep forgeting about Jaspers ability to sense emotions, that would be quite frustrating. Great job, but then again, this is ROO we are talking about . . . Maybe one day my Jacob fan fics will be as good as your Gym ones . . .
Bella Masen Cullen chapter 1 . 7/5/2007
Oh, this was very good! I really enjoyed it, other than the fact that Jasper's mind is so darn depressing, but that's just him.

One thing I noticed - Emmett is spelt with two Ts, not one!

"my outfit was a silly Abercrombie get-up that Alice had insisted made me look sexy" I loved that part, typical Alice :P!

Good job,

Bella Masen Cullen
bookworm-booklover chapter 1 . 6/30/2007
This is good, I don't think I've ever thought about really much of this...well the gym and pretending to be normal and everything I thoght of that, just not how hard it would be with the rising body temperatures and all that.
BlueSea14 chapter 1 . 6/21/2007
This was very interesting! Great use of alliteration - "festering fungal funk". :)

You didn't put a disclaimer on it - and sorry, that's just a pet peeve of mine. No biggie.

You also have a little thing in one paragraph: "Playing basketball with humans was like driving owning Porsche that only went 25 miles per hour." Did you like both 'driving' and 'owning', so decided on both? ;)

I liked this persepective of Jasper's. Remarkable attention to detail; it really sucked you in. You could almost see - and smell - everything. Especially that 'festering fungal funk'. Sorry - I find that funny for some reason. :)

The attention to Jasper that you kept up the whole time was really great. All the descriptions and the words you used...it was just an amazing job.

I wouldn't have put this in the 'Horror' category - maybe 'Supternatural', but then again Jasper takling about how much he wants to kill the humans would be pretty horrific. But usually when I think 'Horror' I think of the writing describing deaths and angsty things like that. Ugh, don't listen to me - I don't think I know what I'm talking about between 'Horror' 'Supernatural' and 'Angst'. :)
sweet.sonata chapter 1 . 6/9/2007
Hahaha..gotta love Jasper! ! I wish there were more of him!
EtaktheGreat chapter 1 . 5/28/2007
This was an excellent story- you captured his personality just like I would have expected it to be, even though he's rarely in the book (sadly- he's my favorite). Keep writing, you're very talented.
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