Reviews for There's a Clock Ticking
CrayonsPink chapter 1 . 4/13/2010
Great job! I really liked it. I think that the interaction between Remus and Professor Dumbledore was very well written.
PeanutTree chapter 1 . 12/21/2009
Oh, wow! I never really thought about this before, but I think what you've described here is amazingly accurate. Remus is so shy, a hint of his older days, and here we see the root of all of it. The dad was a nice touch too.
SylvaDragon chapter 1 . 3/12/2008
Well, I don't know why you say you are not happy with this, I think it is very emotive and well written. It's the first story I've seen that really tells about Remus as a boy, and I think it is superb. Dumbledore is so well done too.
Delaine chapter 1 . 4/14/2007
Awesome little fic. I enjoyed it very much.
Realmer06 chapter 1 . 2/3/2007
Hmm. You're right about this one - it doesn't have the same . . . *something* that your others do. Let me see if I can help.

First of all, I noticed you shifted focus a lot. It started out with a remus focus, then shifted for one paragraph to Albus, then back to Remus. The shift was distracting. I understand why the focus changed in that paragraph ("Albus Dumbledore looks at him and wonder why . . ."), but . . . I don't know. I think it took something away from the overall effect. I think this should focus more entirely on Remus. Take us through his emotions. Convey what Dumbledore and his father are feeling through what Remus witnesses, but without showing us through their eyes.

I think that will help this piece a lot.

The constructive criticism being given, I compliment you on your use of present tense. That's a hard tense to write in - personally, I have a lot of trouble with it. But you use it effortlessly, at least for the reader, which is good.

There is a good basis under this story. An intriguing moment, and an interesting way of conveying it. I think once you find a firm focus and through line, it'll get even better.

Keep up the good work!
Gribzie chapter 1 . 2/3/2007
Good fanfiction but it would have made for a hilarious ending if dumbledore had added "Just Kidding, its muggle school for you young man, " at the end of the interveiw.

but other than that pretty good