|Reviews for Mislaid Plans|
| mischeif maker chapter 1 . 7/11/2014
| Crazycally chapter 1 . 5/18/2012
That was incredibly OOC ofcourse but I did rather enjoy it
| appletree98 chapter 1 . 12/15/2010
Hahahha Loved it!
| ED68 chapter 1 . 9/19/2010
LOL...that was a funny one-shot! very entertaining! Neji is soooooooooooo right! its fun watching Tenten get mad! XD!
| Nanannacyy chapter 1 . 5/6/2010
rofl go gai and lee! xD hehhe run neji run like the wind! :D hopefully he stole tenten's first kiss...bwahah
| Snowlily246 chapter 1 . 4/18/2010
Strangly i don't pity Neji. Not strangly i am laughing my butt off. Great Show , Great Show!
| Shiningheart of ThunderClan chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
*pokes at my multiple cavities* If reviews are candy, I'm a review whore. XD lol, love this! It's very funny!
| Andrien chapter 1 . 10/26/2009
Okay, first of all, that summary was pure win. ;D I can very much sympathize with Tenten; people seem to enjoy pissing me off as well, sigh. ("'You seriously enjoy getting a rise out of me don't you?' she asked. '...Yes.'" This has actually happened to me, almost word for word.) Anyway, I thought this oneshot was very sweet and stood well on its own. It made me laugh but managed to maintain a steady idea.
Your author's note said to point out any errors I noticed, so I just wanted to point out a few minor typos/grammar things I saw, if that's okay.
"You have some explaining to do Hyuga..."
comma (You have some explaining to do, Hyuga...)
"It was nearing Christmas time. Of course that didn't seem to help Tenten's anger issues one bit."
semicolon, I believe (It was nearing Christmas time; of course, that didn't seem to help Tenten's anger issues one bit.)
"But he being a Hyuga and having problematic pride issues, decided that if he ran away..."
sentence clauses (But he, being a Hyuga and having problematic pride issues, decided that if he ran away...)
"...seeing as you are quite a bit shorter and unskilled than me..."
unskilled - less skilled
"And Tenten stopped speaking to him for about two months and a half."
two months and a half - two and a half months
"He then looked back at her, and spoke as if he were scolding a particularly difficult child..."
coordinating conjunction makes comma unnecessary (He then looked back at her and spoke as if he were scolding...)
"'You-' Neji managed to block the hand that was about to slap him. '-are-' With a great amout on luck ('Skill!' he reminded himself.), he was able to crane his neck so that Tenten's fist didn't hit his precious, precious eye. '-the most infuriating person I have ever met!'"
Okay, sentences like these that are peppered with interjections are always tricky, so kudos to you. (lol precious, precious eye)
amout - amount
on - of
no period due to parentheses ('Skill!' he reminded himself)
"'...You are almost as competent me.'"
competent me - as me
"Neji tilted his head when he saw her mouth the numbers ten, nine, eight. seven, six, five, four, three. two, one..."
capital letters for new sentences OR an ellipsis between them
"Tenten looked at him with such disappointment and sorrow, that Neji was actually tempted..."
no comma necessary (...such disappointment and sorrow that...)
"...declare his inner most feelings."
inner most - innermost
"Fine then. Whatever."
comma (Fine, then.)
"She nodded to herself and mumbled under her breath,'Maybe that really was a dream...?'"
space (...her breath, "Maybe...")
"'You seriously enjoy getting a rise out of me don't you?' she asked."
comma (...a rise out of me, don't you?)
"The brown haired girl shook her head, and looked up to the sky."
coordinating conjunction, no comma necessary (...shook her head and looked up to the sky.)
"Blushing bright red, with a maniac glint in her eye..."
maniac - manic
"'And you, my dear Lee, are even more of a genius for pulling of that Neji henge with such aplomb!'"
of - off
Q: Can Lee henge? With his chakra issue? I'm honestly not sure, just wondering. :x
Omg. I sound like some kind of evil Nazi bitch under Nitpick Hitler or something. I don't mean to seem horrible, I'm just trying to help, I swear! I loved your story! But I'm taking English Comp and my teacher is mildy evil and-pleasedontkillme. D:
| Kiminator Mark XII chapter 1 . 10/26/2009
That was great! It was funny and you did a good job of keeping Neji in character... Tenten on the other hand was a bit extreme, but that's what made it funny! Good job with Lee and Gai, I was cracking up!
| Nerd4eva chapter 1 . 9/17/2009
Lol cute, awesome job! P
| ChocoParfait chapter 1 . 9/7/2009
And Neji ran for dear life.
god; very good.
| woofyy chapter 1 . 8/26/2009
LOL! interesting story ) anyways keep up the good efforts and good luckies with your future stories!
| existence555 chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
"And Neji ran for dear life."
oh man, i laughed out loud
this is hilarious! and so cute too!
i love it :)
| Kendall N.S chapter 1 . 8/15/2009
Gotta love TenTen's rage of death!
Run, Neji, RUN!
| HeavenlySwirl chapter 1 . 8/14/2009
Funny, I liked it.