|Reviews for Never After|
| Titanium Phoenix chapter 3 . 3/1/2007
oh. Oh. OH!
Where has THIS been my whole life? I think there is only one other story I enjoy this much!
You wrote Midna so. damn. well. Also, I'm thrilled that someone else noted that hair clip - it did seem uncomfortable, didn't it?
I don't have constructive criticism (not being a write by trade, mind you), all that I have left to offer you is a group of stuttering compliments like "Fantastic" "Brilliant" and "Awesome"
I'll be adding this to my favorites now. - And please, do continue!
| Die Schildkroten chapter 3 . 2/27/2007
You know, the problem with looking at reviewers as those amiable people who pop in from time to time to say nice things about your writing is that you can completely overlook their stuff, and from time to time that's an absolute tragedy.
This is *incredible* stuff. You've nailed the characterization to the wall, for Link, for Ashei, and *especially* with Midna, which practically nobody even comes close to. Your style is a hell of a lot of fun to read and you have that certain blend of candor and suspense that makes me grind my teeth together and beat my head rhythmically against the wall waiting for the resolution and your worldbuilding is good enough to make me *giggle*, which isn't easy.
Well, it could be harder.
Bottom line: I'm considering cutting my own throat for not reading this up to now. You're my new hero.
| Ri2 chapter 3 . 2/27/2007
And apparently, these idiots have done something really, REALLY dumb. Yeah, bad move, dumbasses.
| Caladchbolg chapter 3 . 2/27/2007
Just when I thought I couldn't fall any more in love with Midna. You've made her...perfect. O.O Update every minute please.
| Scop chapter 3 . 2/27/2007
*whistles* Very nice. Smart, sarcastic, biting banter. Created a great sense of deadly politicking that Midna is nevertheless mistress of. Set me up wondering what the Twili have loosed, and what's to come next. Looking foward to the next installment!
| Sora G. Silverwind chapter 3 . 2/27/2007
I ADORE MIDNA'S CHARACTERIZATION HERE. :] I love how she retains her impish snark even after she transform back into her real form (although to be fair, she was probably like that before she got transformed). You've set up something really interesting here, and I REALLY want to see where you're going with this.
It just occurred to me that you write like a historian. And I mean it in a good way. There's just something...knowledgeable...about the way you write this story. The little "footnotes" at the top help with the illusion too, haha. But it's really, really nice, and (in my mind) well-suited for writing about the world of Hyrule. I look forward to the next update!
| Ylandel chapter 2 . 2/26/2007
I'm so excited to find a good story based on Twilight Princess! Please continue to write. I especially enjoyed Ashei's 'fairytale.'
| RandomTopic chapter 2 . 2/24/2007
This is interesting, although I had some trouble keeping track of who was who in the beginning of chapter two. I had to read it over a couple of time, but I think it's my fault. I must have skimmed it the first time and only caught parts of it.
Anyway, I hope you continue.
| Sora G. Silverwind chapter 2 . 2/16/2007
Too lazy to characterize properly? You've done a bloody good job, if my opinion matters anything at all. :D
I'm glad I happened upon this story - it looks like it could have an interesting direction. I also enjoy your distinct style, as well as the bits of random "Hylian culture" at the beginning of each chapter thus far, AS WELL AS Ashei's story of how the goddesses got their chosen ones. It really gives Hyrule another dimension, and it's this sort of subtle worldbuilding that tends to be absent from many fics. I love that sort of thing, so that automatically endears me to this fic.
I look forward to more!
| Scop chapter 2 . 2/14/2007
Good story from Ashei. I like to see how people bring off Link as a reticent character, and this is good so far. Wonder how long it'll go before he can't help but speak.
| Steeple333 chapter 2 . 2/14/2007
One of the things that I really like about this fic is that my characterization of Link and yours overlap nearly seamlessly. My observation while playing TP, and it applies to all of the previous games with a little imagination, was that Link doesn't speak by choice - nor does he need to. His expressions and body language is quite enough. Words seem extraneous around him. If he actually spoke one day (I'm not counting when he says "Hey!" and "C'mon!" during WW - that just proves he can speak), I think I'd be even more stunned than when the King Bublin spoke. That last one was quite surprising in itself, since I had just had a conversation with a friend about the socioeconomic climate of Hyrule, including boblins and their ilk. Proof at last that they are truly sentient, although extremely wary - as it should be, since they have a very low stamina, and were probably offered sanctuary from Hylians by Zant or Ganondorf.
Ack, that was a long paragraph. 9_9 Sorry. I like the story, too. "Tasted" in a more literal way, eh? And the forehead, often associated with the mind, and the hand with action. I like the traits you associated the Goddesses with. I think I'll use it as a reference. ] Mythology is both fun and interesting - it tells a great deal about what values and morality the culture had as a whole, y'know? I mean, this story didn't make the "King Thief" here an intrinsic bad guy - he was driven to madness by his desire for the power he caught a literal taste of - it could have happened to anyone, so that makes me happy, too. _ I actually really like the Gerudo, they're so interesting! And thieves of that sort are awesome; but since we've never seen their thieving style, judging by their skill in horses and combat, they seem more like raiders. One can hardly blame them, since they seem to be bound (forcibly?) to the barren desert. Ganondorf in WW wanted the best for his people.
Ack, what is it with me and these tangental sentences? _ Well, I won't bore you with my opinions of Hyrule. ; Great fic! Keep writing! ;D
| Viviane Renard chapter 2 . 2/14/2007
I thought it was a good first chapter. The pacing was fine in this chapter for me; beginnings tend to be a little slower naturally, as they're introducing the characters and plot elements. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I particularly enjoyed Ashei's story-telling abilities...if I was around that campfire, I would have hung on avidly to every word she spoke! But I suppose Link was too tired for that...they did have to do a lot of work that day.
And do I detect a little bit of foreshadowing...? "For a moment she imagined she saw something skitter away at the edge of the firelight near Link's elbow, almost rising to her feet, but dismissing it as a trick of the shadows." I really do like foreshadowing; it's a great literary element to add into a story, and sometimes tricky to achieve (the whole problem of making it just obvious enough, but not blatent).
I'm somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to writing, so I usually notice small mistakes. If you want me to point them out so you can correct them, I will...or if you don't want to bother with the hassle of fixing minute details, just tell me to stop pointing them out. :)
In this chapter the mistake was simply: "...leading his a large irascible seeming mare..." Either choose his or a, and delete the other word. I really do like the word 'irascible,' though, that's a nifty word.
Great writing for a great beginning. Your characterization seemed wonderful to me. I enjoy how you pay attention to the individual speech manner of the characters, and keep Ashei's speech sounding like herself with its bluntness and 'yeah's. I hope you update soon.
| Viviane Renard chapter 1 . 2/13/2007
First off, I must say that this is superbly written, with a very expansive vocabulary. The second thing I must say is that your story is very intriguing. Put those two things together, and you have a very promising beginning...which makes me impatient for the next chapter. :) I hope you update soon. Oh, and the little kid's rhyme was chilling but great at the same time.
| tikitikirevenge chapter 1 . 2/11/2007
Intriguing start. I can't wait to see where this goes.
| Chaotic Serenity chapter 1 . 2/11/2007
Oh, a crossover between games with a little style mixed it. I rather like the strength your narrative voice, and the prologue has me intrigued. I'll be glad to see where this goes. :-)
Only a minor poke, but you may want to give this a glance over. There were one or two spelling/grammar mistakes in there. Here's one in particular that caught my eye:
[I know how fond you are *off* action, so I’ll say this now:]
Now, looking forward to future installment. :-)