|Reviews for Harry Potter, Sirius Black's Godchild|
| Guest chapter 20 . 9/4
I know this story has been written 10 years ago and what I tell you won't mean a bit of difference, but I hope you will continue to write and possibly take this in a way that will help you to be even better than you were.
When a writer takes over 300k words to tell the tale of one year the story had better be really interesting. Without a faster pace the plot bogs down in minutia and readers tend to leave to find something more interesting than Harry's dental problems. Your characterizations are well written, but you could have told the same story in half the words. I don't want to be guilty as Scarlotti was in Amadeus, when he said Mozart used "too many notes", but I keep wondering when you are going to get to the action and move the plot along.
The other problem I find is in your depiction of Harry. You have really made him an unsympathetic character. He is worse than how he was in canon; lazy, dumb, quick tempered, rude and weak...I kept thinking you have out done all of Ron's worse traits. How can we pull for a hero like that? I took a peek ahead at your sequel hoping that he would be portrayed differently, but found that you made him even worse. I don't know how Hermione could fall in love with a guy like that. That was the reason that Jo said she made a mistake shipping Hermione with Ron.
I hope you read this in the spirit with which I wrote it. You have talent and I thank you for sharing it with us. Please continue to write.
| raul.a.cortez17 chapter 12 . 8/25
Alright, here it goes. I'm only at ch12 so idk how accurate I'll be, but I sense a lack of real plot. I guess im at a Harry lives a 'normal' life arc. Also, Harry seems really pathetic. Of course, this is fan fiction, but it's more of an OCC Harry. I want to go further, but lack of plot and this weak Harry just isn't drawing me.
| Guest chapter 8 . 2/25
they're called hamburgers because they come from Hamburg, Germany
| mckertis chapter 27 . 8/11/2016
Ah, so Sirius the man-whore found himself a slut and got her knocked up on the first date. Great "fun".
| mckertis chapter 25 . 8/3/2016
Too mundane. Too OOC. Too boring.
| midnightscar17 chapter 19 . 2/25/2016
I never understand why people like ron so much. I would rather have Neville as my best friend over ron any day. You get his self esteem and confidence up and hed be just fine. At least hes loyal and nows how to be a good friend and what not. Rons a prick an asshole and a deserter
| midnightscar17 chapter 12 . 2/25/2016
Why doesnt harry care more bout his studies youd think now that sirius and remus are his guardians theyd encourage him to study more.
When are we going to broach the relationship between harry and hermione
| midnightscar17 chapter 10 . 2/25/2016
I dont know if your aware but sirius was the heir to the black estate. He should have way more than 500k galleons. Plus theres the potter estate. Im suprised your not doing it the proper way
| midnightscar17 chapter 7 . 2/25/2016
We all know tht harrys body was more abused than you made it and could of been fixed more. I felt you went more on the easy side of things. I'm suprised that it was a basic treatment any other story goes in a great depth for healing. Especially when it is the goblins. I felt the healing was a very low quality type of healing
| jchangpa chapter 11 . 12/25/2014
I really try to read an understand the story, but it has so much plot line that really do not make too much sense to me. Just for starter, why someone will trust Dumbledore with anything after find out how bad Harry was? How is it possible for Remus to be so cold about Harry well been and a lot of trust on a senile piece of trash? Plus who said the MOM has anything to said about an most ancient and noble house affairs? The you try to fixed those issues, still do not mean the lot of low importance plot were fixed. So as I am confuse with your writing plus the lack of any type of update I have to said, the story is bad, goes nowhere and is abandon.
| joyrulz05 chapter 47 . 12/23/2014
Please write part 2 for this story!
| Guest chapter 47 . 10/31/2014
I swear, there better be a sequel. You cannot do this to me. Ohmygosh why would you end a book here? No. I need to know.
| Guest chapter 46 . 10/31/2014
No. He better be alive.
| Hhhhh chapter 3 . 9/18/2014
I like this chapter
| willam and jack and jake chapter 7 . 8/12/2014
nice very well done