|Reviews for Origins|
| Steamboat Ghost chapter 1 . 3/3/2008
Awesome chapter and cool premise. I've noticed in several of your stories how you approach your writing with 'culture' as the backdrop behind the words you choose, and this combined with the sentence structure really had me feeling the 'ancient epic' genre that I suspect you were aiming for.
All this said, I'm not sure how I feel about the way the element fire is treated here. It's seen in a very Jeong Jeongian way; a curse. Fire kills Dizosu's husband and then she is 'forced' to become the matriarch of all firebending, the mother of 'demons' as she puts it. Fire is one of the more destructive elements, and its certainly understandable that Dizosu would have this reaction to it and never embrace her gift, but I feel like there was room to explore how fire can be good and is part of the Avatar world's balance.
But seriously, this was awesome, I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to the next two chapters on Air and Water. And, even though we know the general plot of the tale of Oma and Shu, I think there's enough room there that you could mold and shape it into a much more full story, like the one you've written here. I know I wouldn't mind hearing the story again in your words :)
| sammispn226 chapter 1 . 9/3/2007
whoa - I REALLY liked this.
It was really impressive - it sounded exactly like an ancient fable, or myth...especially with the salamander, raven, and dragon.
I hope you write more like it.
P.S. I also was pleased with the fact that the very first two firebenders were women. :)
| azayana chapter 1 . 4/9/2007
I love your narrator voice! It sounds like an actual legend or something of the sort.
So I'm guessing Air is next? Looking forward to it!
And 'Mai' is pronounce like 'may' because it's the Mandarin Chinese pronounciation. Avatar draws heavily on Asian culture and it's another example. Though in Japanese it'd be 'my', they gave Azula a Japanese name, Ty Lee a Cantonese one, so Mai gets the Mandarin one. Something like that. Phonetics still confuse me, no matter how many time's they've been pounded into my head.
| YFate chapter 1 . 3/25/2007
I really enjoyed this. A definite twist at the end, wtih the dragon's trickery. Poor Dizosu. I feel for her daughter more, though. Can you imagine growing up with a mother who loved you more than her beloved husband, and yet must resent your birth? For it kept her from joining Fai in death, and she must teach you how to control the fire that claimed her husband.
I wonder if the daughter would grow up resenting her mother for resenting her? I wonder if that might not spark the resentment that exists "now" in the Fire Lord's family. They sure have a lot of it-Azula for Zuko being older, Ozai for Iroh and Azulon's preference, Zuko for Ozai's preference for Azula. Ooh! My muse is twitching...
Your writing is excellent, as always. I enjoy your take on the "Avatarverse" immensely. I hope you pursue a writing career, you have a lot of talent and intuitive character development.
| Azamiko chapter 1 . 2/20/2007
| EPearlFairy chapter 1 . 2/19/2007
Very well written. I am looking forward to reading your other stories.
| beanrox chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
*appluads* O. Very nice, very nice.
Who's next? -_
| katara-water25 chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
| J Luc Pitard chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
Great concept and well written. It's so like the creation stories! Like Oma and Shu, it's a bittersweet story. Please do the others?
| StarDragon411 chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
| August13 chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
this was good. but didnt they say that the first waterbenders watched the way the moon pushed and pulled the tides and taught themselves to do it and the airbenders learned from the flying bison?anyways, i think you should make up your own regardless.
| blueyedragon09 chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
All I can say is wow... just wow...
this is absolutely brilliant! Beautifully written! Genius! I think I'm running out of adjectives! Adding it to my favorites! Great job! I can't wait for more!
yeah, sorry, I'm not good at reviews, ha, but you get the point
| Jade Sabre chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
lovely. You did a wonderful job giving it the storyteller's narrative voice, making it a myth, and I also love the story itself, how firebending has always been a bitter gift, even from its origins.
| Silberias chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
I like it...will there be more or is this a one-shot?
| Donkey pr0n chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
that was really good ; very powerful writing