|Reviews for Treading Icy Waters|
| jcampbellohten chapter 27 . 3/10
Ah, resolution. Bonus points for maintaining the double-agent air of mystery around Gin.
I like how even though Ichigo isn't the main protagonist here, he's not completely out of the picture; he still shows up every once in a while, to the point of being a secondary main character. It gives this the feel of a side-story to the main plot of Bleach, like it's really connected. The Ichigo/Rukia fighting was funny, too.
| jcampbellohten chapter 24 . 3/10
I don't understand what you mean by "the sort [of hunger] that refuses to cease until everyone else has had their fill."?
Ichigo uses "-san" when talking to Rangiku. Hisagi, too, in case you have him and Ichigo interact in the remainder of this story. However, at least you finally got "Zaraki-taichou" right.
| jcampbellohten chapter 16 . 3/9
*holds up Hitsugaya* "Surprise!" LOL, that made my night!
| jcampbellohten chapter 9 . 3/9
Also, Urahara refers to Ichigo as "Kurosaki-san" and Isshin as "Isshin-san," and Histugaya refers to Rukia as "Kuchiki."
| jcampbellohten chapter 8 . 3/9
Because you seem to care about getting everyone's speech and mennerisms down correctly, I feel I should point out that Nel has a lisp. I don't know how often it's heard, but it consistently causes her to call Ichigo "Istygo."
| jcampbellohten chapter 3 . 3/9
It would be "Zaraki-taichou," not "Kenpachi-taichou." Calling him Kenpachi-taichou is like calling Hitsugaya "Toushiro-taichou." The only one who ever calls him Kenpachi is Ichigo, to my knowledge.
| Colette Hyuga chapter 27 . 8/15/2013
Wow. I absolutely loved this story. You had ne hooked from the beginnjng till the end. I totally love how you portrayed gin- on character, devious sly and a bit cruel too.. Loved Toshiro and rangiku. Amd momo's apology at the end. And everything else. .
| urufushinigami chapter 27 . 6/6/2013
this. was. AMAZING!
It was so well thought out and planed that i was practically lost in the story! All the characters where so in depth that they could almost be living people! I had tons of fun reading this story and I'm glad you took the time to write such a story. thanks for the great read
| WierdConnections chapter 25 . 6/5/2013
For some reason, all of the story thus far seems to be a metaphor for cancer.
| Kiku-Goldenflower chapter 27 . 10/30/2012
Brilliant I love your writing style, it's detailed and at times has a reflective tone to it but neither gets ov the top and your action scenes are well done to.
| Cookie-the-Rookie chapter 18 . 8/14/2012
Karin! one character i just can't stand!
| Cookie-the-Rookie chapter 2 . 8/14/2012
You portrayed Toushiro very well, especially when he spoke with Hinamori!
| toPod chapter 27 . 6/29/2012
Oh, where to start, my dear Windlily. I’ve missed you. So much.
On to the story. Sigh… I think I’m gonna have to start from the beginning. I’ve taken a huge break from Bleach, and when I returned, I found that I housed a dire need to plaster my eyes to your stories. As with all instances when I reread any piece of literature, I discovered new features of the story that I must bring to someone’s attention lest I explode with unvoiced thoughts.
Bad news comes first. Actually, I only have like two things to say. Or rather two reminders. Your grammar slacks about twice per chapter when it comes to commas. And you seem to be trapped in a life-or-death struggle with homonyms: feet/feat, reign/rein, and waste/waist.
On to the good news. Your plot is beyond creative. I know poison has been done before. Hitsu-whumping has also been rehashed more than the poor baby-captain deserves. And of course Gin is the evildoer behind it all. But here’s how I see it: true creativity is displayed when the cliché is made original. You’ve achieved this in several ways: there’s a twist to the poison; there’s external aid during the whumping; and there’s a small seed of not-so-evil in Gin the doer.
Here’s where I see these three things. The poison deprives Toushiro of any grasp of his reiatsu. Okay, that’s kinda a given. How else can a poison be interesting enough to warrant an entire plotline. Then Toushiro gains major control over his reiatsu. Where did that come from? My disbelief was barely suspended by one main fact: he didn’t pull that ability out of his butthole. Meaning, it’s not one of those “Hollering at the top of your lungs as you make a big boom will secure your miraculous victory,” that Kubo loves to pull for Ichigo (especially in movies). Meaning, Toushiro’s sudden power didn’t stem from desperation/inspiration/whatever it is Kubo thinks can help protagonists realize brute strength-enlightenment. Instead, it stemmed from irony, which is perhaps the most unexpected and thus most entertaining and excellent means of bringing about a new technique. The irony, of course, being the fact that Toushiro owes his ability and his survival at the hands of that ability to the noob-training he’d dealt to Tatsuki. NOOB-training. He gave up precious time and exposed himself to deadly reiatsu to push a new recruit toward conquering her uncontrolled reiatsu. He’d recited the basics of reiatsu control that he’s probably repeated more times than he has years, and because of such a recent reminder, he was able to remember to walk his own talk when he was rendered about as green as a fresh reiatsu user like Tatsuki. Am I making sense here? I’m saying that it’s ironic how Toushiro regained his reiatsu control because he’d been reminded of the basics of doing so when he trained Tatsuki—and probably Ichigo, too, if the hint you gave during Ichigo’s fight with Arrancar was anything to go on. That just adds to the irony, btw. And you played that out so skillfully, too. I don’t know if you really meant for Ichigo’s little line to actually point in the direction that I’ve taken it, but it works either way. I don’t think you remember what I’m talking about. It’s been too long, hasn’t it…? I’m talking about the water thing and the whirlpool thing and the marble thing. And then the, “I fixed it,” thing from Ichigo. (LOLOL if you can make sense out of any of that, I’d say you know your own stories well.)
And another thing about this power: it’s so dang cool. At first, I liked it because I thought it was pretty and flashy and pew pew. But then you revealed it as so much more than that. It’s that smell thing you wrote. I love how this horrible, poison ordeal ended in a handsome reward in the form of an anti-Aizen weapon. It makes sense, especially the way you expertly described it as a scent, which was truly the perfect analogy.
Okay, so the second thing I was talking about. The external aid during the whumping. When characters get whumped, it’s usually resolved through a struggle isolated internally or externally. So either the character has to save himself while others wait helplessly without access, or others must save him while he lies unconscious without a clue. But here, you’ve neutralized the two by having Hitsugaya fight his own fights and by providing “sideliners” the opportunity to help him along. While Hitsugaya engaged Gin in battle, Unohana shish kebabbed him to the bed with none other than Hyourinmaru as the skewer (an awesome sight made more so by your awesome imagery and narration, btw). And somehow, that made things better. It wasn’t just one party doing all the work that mattered. Both Toushiro and his sympathizers successfully took their turn in overcoming the enemy. I like it. This is kinda new.
On to the third. I love it when the devil-worshiper turns on its master. I love it when the heartless remembers where he’d stashed his emotion organ. I love it when Ichimaru Gin is more than just the puppet master’s butt-wiper. And the way you developed it was so memorable and deep. Gin showed a weak side. To Hitsugaya, of all people. And in a plot that had pit them against each other so fatally, too. The mirror thing was great. And how Hitsugaya and Gin both saw defeat and wanted to change that…that’s brilliant. It was a believable connection between the two for them to garner positive sentiments from.
Okay those things aside, I still have other things to say. I really appreciate your attempt to compensate where Kubo sucks. He really does ignore many of the characters by overcrowding Bleach with more faces than it can provide screen time / page time for. But you’re as good as Kubo, if not better, at filling in the holes Kubo dug himself. Your efforts toward character development is fruitful. I’ve never read more IC and improved minor characters. Keigo and Mizuiro were especially amusing and well-thought out. I’m truly impressed by those two in battle. And Tatsuki! She’s amazing. I love her. And the relationship you’ve created for her and Hitsugaya! I love how she calls him Captain as well, and how she takes up his name in her fight with the Arrancar. And little Nel! Oh, she’s adorable! And I love how you’ve also managed to have her take a step into Hitsugaya’s life. And so naturally, too! And so humorously! The fact that she made a released appearance is that much more awesome. And of course, Isshin, Kisuke, Yoruichi, Karin, the two Ishida, and the Vaizards! Isshin as Hitsugaya’s precedent is pure brilliance and irony combined. And Ryuuken, Isshin, and Kisuke’s relationship is so compelling and well-written. It makes the characters that much more believable and the favors they ask of each other that much less outrageous. And I LOVE their interactions. I’m surprised by how natural it was for Kisuke to show a serious and concerned side for Isshin when he couldn’t feel his reiatsu. His transition from his usual theatrics to true worry translated well to me in the few words that you’d used to tell of it. But on a lighter note, Isshin’s willingness to egg Kisuke on and even drag Ryuuken into the grand scheme is so IC, and I don’t even know what IC means for Isshin since the guy’s only shown up a few episodes in the anime and a couple of chapters in the manga! And I can’t even fathom how you’d managed to work with Ryuuken, but somehow you’ve put more literary meat on him than Kubo even crafted enough skeleton for. And along with his father, even Uryuu got a bit of the fun. I like how he made the connection between his father’s and his feelings toward shinigami. You’re really something, you know that? And you already know how I feel about Hiyori and Shinji (“Fukutaichou my ass.”) Made my heart smile. My bleeding, beating, battered organ SMILED. And you also know how I feel about the other captains. Okay, moving on.
Your word choice and diction are mind-blowing. In narration, you’re eloquent, well-toned, and descriptive. Meaning that when you’re writing stuff around the dialogue, you sound nice, you fit the tone to match the POV of the character you’re writing from, and you easily communicate what you want your audience to see. And the dialogue! Oh, my gosh, the dialogue. My favorite is Urahara and Kisuke, but I must admit, whenever any of the characters talk, I’m amazed by how IC they sound. Urahara is smooth and witty and full of his usual nonsense that makes sense once you’ve caught up to him. Isshin is hilarious. His manhandling of Hitsugaya (picking him up by the armpits) and spunk (“Damn straight!”) and lightheartedness (“Well, Ryuuken, we’d best get our kin and get going, ne?”). Even Rukia (“Quiet, you!”) and Ichigo (his speech when he’s serious about something suits him well). And just a little afterthought…Keigo is so friggin’ funny (“Then why the hell haven’t I woken up yet?”). You probably have no clue to what I’m alluding to…
I love Rangiku, btw. How even after she finds out that her old captain was alive, she still devoted herself to Toushiro despite herself. I like how Toushiro’s the only one she currently addresses as Captain and only Captain. It’s like no other Captain exists to her, so she finds no need to add a surname to the title.
Oh, and I also enjoyed reading about Hitsugaya’s role in allowing Rukia and Renji to run off after Ichigo running off after Orihime. It’s one of the many scenes I wish had truly happened in the manga. The stuff you write is so much better than I can ever hope for.
Okay, I’ve run out of things to say for this story. I shall move on to review The Narcissus now.
| person chapter 27 . 5/7/2012
i suppose reviewing a completed story is somewhat of a waste
this was an incredible story!
the humor and the seriousness balanced perfectly!
the ocs were plausible
the arrancar ressurection forms sounded realistic
and the last lines...
XD XD XD
Tonight you shall bathe as a man!
just as one would expect from matsumoto
for a first time bleach story, i'd say you did very well
| SkYeLiMiT chapter 27 . 3/20/2012
This was absolutely thrilling! I couldn't stop reading till the end! The suspense, mystery, and slight humor went together perfectly! The plot was done very well too. Gin is as mysterious as ever and poor Toshiro just has to get dragged into this whole mess...