Reviews for Jurassic Park Broken Lives
Tellemicus Sundance chapter 3 . 5/9/2007
I have three ideas/suggestions for you.

1. It only seems 'fair' to me that since Silver Claw can understand Amanda, that they should try to teach her some basic raptor language and customs.

2. Now I know you're playing up to the fact that Silver Claw is the lone survivor of his nest, but what if he wasn't? What if Sophia survived and joined another nest of raptors that were her former nest's bitter rivals or enemies? And that same nest was also moving in to claim the lost territory of the dead nest. Now Silver Claw will have to defend Amanda from other raptors and possibly try to find a way to 'free' Sophia.

3. I'm sure you've considered this idea as well. Amanda riding on Silver Claw's back as they flee from some super predator (hopefully not the Spinosaurus, that'd get predictable after a while).

Please update soon!
NemesisX312 chapter 4 . 5/7/2007
I read the story, and I find it quite interesting. Following the story behind a velocirapter, is quite brilliant I must say. Keep up the good writing, till then, farewell.
Tellemicus Sundance chapter 1 . 5/6/2007
Another thing I've come to realize what is 'wrong' with this story. You haven't given Silver Claw enough time to feel any sense of loss or regret. Scarcely one second after Sophia disappeared, he discovers Amanda and-BOOM-he's suddenly found someone to associate with.
Tellemicus Sundance chapter 4 . 5/4/2007
Not bad, not bad. Though I have to question the wisdom of giving Silver Claw the ability to understand Amanda. Oh well, I guess that'll help move the storyline along.

You have my full interest now, so please update soon. And try to make the chapters a bit longer. I mean, of all the stories I've read, epic- or novel-length ones are the best. So don't hesitate to be as thorough as possible when writing a chapter. The best authors usually are the ones who pay close attention to detail.
Tellemicus Sundance chapter 2 . 5/4/2007
Let me just say one thing: I don't read many Jurassic Park fanfics because most are crap. However, this story interests me for some reason.

But one thing that I'm not sure I agree with is how you're protraying Silver Claw as a character. Sure, velicoraptors are supposed as smart or smarter than humans, but they still live and follow their instincts and habits. You make Silver Claw out to be 'human' rather than an extremely smart animal. Maybe if you applied more instinctive urges and such stuff I wouldn't mind it so much, because then he'd be fighting against his instincts that were telling him that he was following a possible meal.

Still, there are more chapters to read. I hope you haven't turned the good thing you have here into crap.
Frodo's Girl Forever chapter 4 . 4/27/2007
Aw! That was really sad! I loved the way you described what happened to Amanda before she got on the island. It was very discrptive, and the way Silver Claw tried to help her was great, too! I love this fic! You're doing a good job with each of the chapters, though sometimes I do notice a few grammar mistakes, but it's still awesome! Please make more when you can!
reddragonn343 chapter 4 . 4/21/2007
cool stuff. i like. update?
Emolsifier chapter 4 . 4/21/2007
Awesome Fanfic, You made White claw so darn sweet, it's adorable!. say how old is amanda, 14 or 15 is my guess. Are there going to be more human characters?.
NeosTwo chapter 4 . 4/20/2007
Hey good chapter. here's a chapter with a new character, Razor: the leader of Silver Claw's rival pack.


In the dense jungle night, the two friends were being watched.

"Oh look have here." A dark voice said. "Isn't it nice Silver is good and alive?"

Another more calm voice spoke, "It would be better if he wasn't, though."

"Especally since it was his pack that killed half of ours and used our breeding grounds for thiers. An eye for an eye, don't you think?"

"I'll alert the pack," The secondvoice said.

"Ridge," The dark voice spoke. "Make sure they stay alive. If I gonna have a meal after killing Silver, I want it to be fresh."


FYI, the dark voice is Razor and I "borrowed" the qoute from Ice Age. Hey, it was the only good line liked and it fits for this story. UPDATE!
lycangod666 chapter 4 . 4/19/2007
YAYNESS! Keep writing more chapters!
natdrat00 chapter 4 . 4/19/2007
This is good, I hope you update soon.
Warhammerdude chapter 3 . 4/16/2007
very cool story, it's nict to have a story from a dinos perspective, also will sophia come back or is she gone?
NeosTwo chapter 1 . 4/11/2007
Hey, I got some suggestions for future chapters. Just PM me by clicking my name thingy in the corner, okay?
Frodo's Girl Forever chapter 3 . 4/9/2007
Dang, I loved that! It seems Amanda and Silver Claw are now having quite a friendship! Will there be more to this story? I dearly hope so! Update when possible please!
lycangod666 chapter 3 . 4/9/2007
PLEASE KEEP GOING! I really want to know what happens next!
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