|Reviews for Jurassic Park Broken Lives|
| Genome Soldier chapter 14 . 7/8/2007
An excellent story so far! I can not wait to so what happens next! Please update soon!
| Frodo's Girl Forever chapter 14 . 7/7/2007
Woah! I read chapters twelve to fourteen tonight, and I loved them! I can't wait for the next chapter!
I assume ELLIE is coming back, hm?
I really hope Silver Claw can survive! He and Amanda are so close, and they're absolutely perfect for each other! If he DOES die though, I'm going to cry, but I still desperately want to know what happens next!
Update soon please-this is so suspenseful!
| mike 646 chapter 14 . 7/7/2007
Great Chapter once again! I like the direction in which the story is going. Keep up the good work!
| Staarbit chapter 14 . 7/7/2007
I've been reading your story for a while now. Sorry I didn't post a review sooner.
Anyway, your story's great! It just keeps getting better and better. Keep it up :)
I hope Silver Claw is okay D:
| Warhammerdude chapter 14 . 7/6/2007
omg this is getting better and better, (runs to get more popcorn)
| Silent Strike 'Scy chapter 14 . 7/5/2007
wow, Talon is being nice. now, i'm pretty sure your not going to kill Silver Claw, this is his story afterall, but i must make sure. poor raptor is sick, he can't die that way. i imagine him growing old and dieing from something but not so young. plus, those dreams sound like foreshadowing to me. this keeps getting better and better. i'm hooked, and you left a cliffhanger, i hate them yet i love them. hmm i sense a raptor coming to pay a visit to our dear Silver Claw.
i read some of the other reviews, you know just seeing what others are saying, and i can't figure out why people continue reading something when they don't like it. and some things said were mean. don't listen to that person that has no respect for others, this is truly a master piece. cliffhangers in great spots. deletion of unnessesary characters *though Elly could have stayed, she was a nice girl*
| NemesisX312 chapter 14 . 7/4/2007
Now that dream of Amanda's is sure one messed up dream, hm, is Sliver Claw dead!
| St. Alicon chapter 14 . 7/4/2007
You suck at foreshadowing... It's rather obvious Lance'll be back. Unless your just making it look like that to fool us.
I'd say you should go over this again, seen some obvious spelling errs.
Thanks for the speedy update, by the way.
| Tellemicus Sundance chapter 14 . 7/3/2007
Oh man! Am I HAPPY! You updated!
Now this chapter was just full of unexpected surprises. Amanda having practically life-like dreams of being a raptor and raising a family in an unforgiving world. That has got to be my most favorite part of this chapter. Very thought-provoking, the little hints and suggestions you put in there. A mysterious laboratory with chemicals that, once exposed to a certain species, turns all following victims into the same one. I can't help but wonder if this dream is a premonition or just wishful thinking? Very nicely done.
Now Lance being killed did catch me by surprise. While I admit that you're probably correct that you did ruin him, you could've also managed to still use and utilitize his character for other possiblities. But it is definitely a good thing that you had Amanda rob him of his possessions beforehand. But that also had me wondering. If he had pistol and poisoned knife along, why not use them to get his stuff back when he was making his escape attempt? Oh well. I'm not complaining, just saying. Now the way you killed him...I have little doubt that you were inspired by Lost World weren't you? Yet, I'd have thought that he'd only effectively kill two of the babies (at most) before the adult got him. Like before, oh well.
I foresee some serious trouble for Amanda, SC, and the raptors. This is because they are apparently on the spinosaurus's trail to its nest. And with how enraged the spinosaur will most definitely be at a disgusting human killing three of its precious hatchlings, it could possibly remember the other human on the island and go hunting Amanda to 'avenge its hatchlings' further, even though she had nothing to do with their deaths.
When you say an old character returning, I come to think of two immediately. 1) Tyrannous, obviously. 2) Sophia.
While Tyrannous is obviously overdue to return, I can't help but wonder still if Sophia somehow survived. If so, I wonder what her reaction would be if she saw her best friend falling in love with a human. It would almost be funny if she had been secretly in love with SC and then learns of his love for Amanda. Can we say 'inter-special jealousy'? _
I'll go out on a limb and say that Tyrannous is doing quite well in the new pack he's with. Maybe even ascending all the way to the alpha position? That would really suck for SC and Amanda. If he sent his raptors out to search for and found them, he could approach Sunayana's pack with the options of: surrender SC and Amanda or have a Raptor War. That would most definitely split the pack from those that would allow it and those that wouldn't. But either way it goes, I know without a doubt that SC and Amanda will leave the territory to spare their raptor friends any unnecessary fighting and bloodshed. Then again, raptors could live for battle and hunting, so Sunayana's pack would retaliate regardless. So many possiblities are open here! Of course, that's assuming Tyrannous gains control of the pack he's been adopted into.
It would seem that Silver Claw has long ago accepted the inevitable eh? I just know that the last thought we see go through his mind was that he loved her. And his 'happy' reaction to her first dream, of them raising a family together, only furthers my suspicion. But I must admit that you certainly got a few chuckles out of me when he started asking her about her feelings for him. I just know he was fishing for clues, testing the waters before jumping in and proclaiming his love for her. Man, I can't wait to see what happens next.
Now for the poisoning. That seemed like a very in-character type of thing for Lance to do, based off of what little we see of him. But while he claims that the poison could kill anything, what if he was wrong? Being that he wasn't sure what he was hunting, he probably would've expected the boat monster to be some kind of giant jungle cat, or some other kind of mammal. Since Silver Claw is a dinosaur and a reptile, his metabolism would be significantly different than any other creature on Earth. So it could theoretically be possible that he could survive what would otherwise kill any other animal, granted he could most likely become extremely sick and weak for a while.
Since Amanda now has Lance's radio, it would only seem logical that she use it. With the type of person that you seemed to have made him out to be, I'd bet Lance was one of those guys who wouldn't be above a random and ridiculous 'get-rich-quick' scheme. While he was hunting, he could've also decided that if the monster was rare or valuable enough, he could sell it to a zoo or its corpse to a museum. For the zoo to work, he'd need an antidote which would most likely be in his supplies. Plus, you never know what other interesting things he might've stashed in there as well. Things that Amanda might need (like the long list of essentials in my last review).
To include with that list of supplies would be some medications and pain relievers. I'll admit that I forgot about this last time, thanks for reminding me! As your own chapter shows, you never know what could happen so you always should have some medical supplies nearby. And if Lance was even half as smart as he needed to be, he'd have packed those for sure.
On my ending note, I bet I know why Talon was so 'kind' to her. It was because he'd seen her hunt and kill, by herself. I bet if Silver Claw hadn't been poisoned, but there and helping her, Talon's opinion wouldn't have changed. Now he knows that Amanda can fend for herself when need demands it, and he probably grudgingly respects that of her.
| reddragonn343 chapter 13 . 7/1/2007
heh...the new guy is a little retarded. like a bimbo with a gun...haha
| natdrat00 chapter 13 . 6/30/2007
I don't know about lance, I'll wait to judge him until some more chapters come to fill his character out. The story is good, I hope to see more soon.
| Teodyssey chapter 13 . 6/30/2007
I kinda had in mind a less obnoxious of male character but anyways, good chapter!. Silver claw just sounds more and more adorable every chapter, I bet that there are some who read this story and just can't help themselves but say "aw" whenever he gets close to amanda.
A hunter, at least this'll push amanda's huntings skills along nicely. I was kinda scared that you'd kill silver claw off, i would've just stopped reading right there. a little single minded that lance fellow is...
You're gonna break the guys phone aren't you? tee hee, wonder how Silver claw would feel if amanda developed so feelings for lance... *chuckles*. keep them coming!, i anticipate the next chapter with the same unwavering passion as i would for watching a new episode of a new Tv show... that's the only analogy i could think of.
| St. Alicon chapter 13 . 6/30/2007
I'd have to say that character lacks the depth of the others, a lot. I'm hoping in the next chapter you'll present some flaws and a bit more of his personality.
Besides that, fairly decent chapter.
| Tellemicus Sundance chapter 13 . 6/30/2007
Yeah, oh yeah! You updated! Alright!
Several things in this chapter caught my attention. Amanda and SC abandoning their cave home for another (mostly temporary) place that they could call home. Hm, perhaps the cave could be a 'last resort' or 'safe house' for when they're in serious trouble? While I admit that I wasn't surprised that SC didn't seem to like sleeping in the cave, instincts again I guess, I guess I should've expected Amanda would willingly abandon the cave to make him happy.
That rose is bringing up a very intrieging observation. Not ten minutes earlier SC had been telling Amanda about raptor customs and then he goes and gives her that rose. While he was ignorant of its meaning in the human world, Amanda still appreciated the thought behind it. Then she kisses him...and SC had just gotten done telling her of how mates usually interact. So, in one point of view, Amanda kissing SC on an increasingly frequent basis could lead him to assume that she could be considering him a possible mate. Perhaps a little introverted discussion with himself on that issue would be good idea in the next chapter?
And finally, this new character. Lance seemed somehow...flat to me. Like he was there without really having a purpose. Sure his story could be believable, that he's there to bag the monster that's attacking boats. But I HIGHLY suggest you further develop his personality and to at least hint at his personal background story.
Now a few flaws that I think you may have already made with him. First and foremost would be his arsenal of weaponry. You only gave him one rifle and probably only a few minor necessities for outdoor camping, right? Now, based on my own hunter's perspective in the scenario that he was given, he was either badly informed or unbelievably arrogant if he thought that he could kill some mysterious beast that could sink boats with only a measley hunting rifle. You should've at least given him a pistol or two. And where is his other supplies? From the sound of it, what he was wearing on his immediate body was all he had. Tents, ammunition, potable stove/burner, knife(s), hatchet/hammer, spare clothing, sleeping bag, and basic cooking utlities? My stepfather is a serious hunter and outdoor's man, so I have a pretty good idea of what's needed for a stay in the wilderness.
Perhaps he had a deal with the helicopter pilot to make a second trip to drop off the extra supplies? Well, ratherless, at least have Lance have an iron and flint so he can make a fire!
So now Amanda and SC have Lance shadowing them as they try to find themselves a new home. Man, I can see all kinds of serious problems coming from this. Like Lance forming a dangerous grudge on SC for ruining his favorite rifle, eventually leading to him trying to kill SC? Which could in turn lead him to force Amanda to choose between him and SC. Or have Lance make a mistake or two that leads some dangerous carnivore to their new home and it completely destroys it? Or rather, have him PURPOSELY lead the carnivore to the nest (to help avenge his rifle), so he could get Amanda alone and then ravish her? Sorry if that's not what you had in mind for him, but it's what I see.
Splendid job on this chapter! I'm truly anticipating the next one!
| Teodyssey chapter 12 . 6/30/2007
0.0, wow didn't see that one coming. I was kinda thinking that ellie would get lost and disappear for a few chapters at the mention of the bunker, but for her to be taken out of the story altogether, wow.
I get the feeling that talon murdered ellie but maybe its just that i dislike him. they took the girls stuff!, i know that they're raptors and don't talk pleasure in girls under garments but... THEY'RE PERVERTS FOR THAT!.
Even though you killed off i think it was a good deceision, there'll be lest change and conservatism in the story and nothing other than the other raptors to hinder change and worry silver claw.