|Reviews for Do You Accept It?|
| Razer Athane chapter 6 . 7/6/2009
About time I got back to this, sorry for my delay.
'Oh, c'mon. I rolled my eyes. How much simpler could this place get?' - XDXDXDXD Lulz
I really love how you've included dialog from the actual game. Its been ages since I played KH1 but I definitely remember the conversation between Maleficent, Ursula, Hades, Captain Hook, etc etc ("Such is the power [through to] could be quite useful..."). I do that myself, but it always pleases me when I see another author do the same :3
"Be very weary of them." - 'wary', not 'weary'. 'Weary' is as in tired, 'wary' is as in being careful.
"It was all the Heartless's fault. It was all... those... damn... Heartless's... fault!" - Tip. When a name/thing/etc ends in an s, there is no need to put 's at the end. Yes, put in the ', but not ANOTHER s. So it should read:
'It was all the Heartless' fault. It was all... those... damn... Heartless'... fault!'
'A blade that can suck the living energy out of my foes: Soul Eater.
Koi frowned, a bit troubled with my reaction, whereas Maleficent's lips quirked with a sense of accomplishment.
"I don't see why you weren't chosen to become the Keyblade Master," she exclaimed, ecstatic. The gears which existed inside her evil mind began to shift in motion. "There's no denying you have great potential."
Those exact words echoed forebodingly in my mind, singing a morbid tune of doubt...' - Hell yes XD Great ending to another great chapter :)
| Razer Athane chapter 5 . 12/16/2008
Well I had a whole review planned out for this but when I hit submit my net crashed. Great.
So I'll just summarise quickly: good chapter!
| Razer Athane chapter 4 . 12/12/2008
Heya, back again :P
The introduction, with the little cut scene between Ansem and Sora, with Riku nearby, was very cleverly constructed ;)
'The curtains were forcibly drawn apart to reveal the balcony and light mercilessly poured into my room, blinding me.' - Ahahahahaha pwnt!
Tidus' introduction in this chapter was BRILLIANT. The fight scene was good as well. Nothing flash but it certainly wasn't awful. It was good. I liked these lines a lot:
'This was, of course, coming from the girl who could barely fight with a play toy at her disposal.' - This really brings out Riku's characterisation, and I love it.
'Secretly, my hand lowered to bury its fingers in a handful of sand, before I flicked the dust into Wakka's eyes and he gasped, rubbing his blind eyes.' - This was a great touch!
From the storm on, I absolutely loved. It was well paced and quite intense. The closing paragraph/lines/wtf-ever were fantastic, it cut off the chapter very nicely.
And I do love the chapter title :P
| Razer Athane chapter 2 . 12/9/2008
Oh my word, this was a very clever chapter. I love how you placed Riku in Sora's place. Well not his place but you get what I mean right? Also the italics were brilliantly written, you conveyed their intentions (whatever they be at the moment) brilliantly.
Not much of Koi so I can't comment on her character yet, and I like to observe OCs quite closely, because I write OCs myself. Regardless this is coming up quite nicely, I'm certainly enjoying it :)
| Razer Athane chapter 1 . 12/9/2008
Guess what? PEOPLE ON MSNM FINALLY LEFT ME ALONE! XD
So far I like what I see here. Your descriptions are great - not too vivid, not under nourished. I liked these lines in particular:
'Yet lately, I found my dreams beginning to merge together with reality. To the point I was convinced I lived in a world of both.' - This is very clever.
'The scene reverted, the colors relapsed - as if somebody pressed on rewind.' - The imagery was perfect, and the word choices really enhanced it.
I'm enjoying this thus far and I will be sure to keep an eye on it. You certainly write well, better than other sixteen-year-olds I have seen around in any section, and you're currently kicking my sixteen-year-old-self's butt :D
Onto the next chapter!
| Lunar'sWolf chapter 5 . 7/26/2008
YAY! As always I can't wait till the next one!
Your writting is great! The descriptions and character traits are hella tight!
| Lunar'sWolf chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
Aww, dedicated? I feel so loved, lol. I love, love, love it! You're an awsome writter! I can't wait for more!
| Arcadia Moonspark chapter 3 . 7/20/2008
| an epiphany chapter 3 . 6/14/2008
I woke up to find not one chapter, but two chapters updatedd~
rereading this is actually pretty fun too. o.O XD
| an epiphany chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
I'm so glad this came out. :D
thanks for updating it... or restarting it... or w/e. XD
| anonymous chapter 1 . 3/12/2008
I hope you start writing this again. D:
Gah. I dislike waiting.
I surely hope that this isn't abandoned either? ._.
| ChocoboCRACK. D chapter 12 . 9/22/2007
I love it.
| Blarg chapter 12 . 7/14/2007
One of the better stories i have read yet D
Hurry and update ~
| Lunar'sWolf chapter 12 . 4/8/2007
YAY! I loved It! But, it's probably because i'm a grl...still, there were no mistakes!
| Lunar'sWolf chapter 7 . 4/1/2007
Woops, I already reviewed...oh well, i still love it. I updated on my story so plz read and review! Bu-bye
PS: when will the next chappie be up?