|Reviews for His Knight|
| WolfAngelDeath chapter 3 . 1/17/2010
I'm a little confused but I liked it.
| WElle chapter 3 . 10/10/2007
| HollyBush chapter 3 . 9/11/2007
I may have reviewed this before. If so, I'll say it again: This is fantastic!
| Mousitsa chapter 3 . 8/8/2007
since I'm currently wrapping up vacation and finding myself with extra time for reading on my hands, I'm catching up to a number of fanfics. When I first typed my comments for review, there was only your first chapter up, and I didn’t realize you were going to add more. So later I went back and caught up on the additional chapters. It appears each chapter is a stand-alone and not really connected to the other chapters, right?
Chapter 1: First, welcome to the world of fanfiction! All attempts are welcome, entertaining, and can be used to learn and improve. One important thing... proofread! Do not allow minor spelling and grammatical errors to distract the reader from your story. You have a very good idea here in examining Sam’s thoughts and feelings of guilt. I liked the way you connected the knight thing between past and present. But you are trying to hit too many landmarks in a short space, which is making things rushed. It also appears you are trying to stay close to the canon events & thoughts as presented on the show. In that case, Sam didn’t really go to college ‘to spite his dad’, he really just wanted to go to college and in the process get away from the hunting life into something ‘normal’; it’s his dad who saw it as abandoning the family (per “Dead Man’s Blood”). I don’t think Sam felt he abandoned Dean, although Dean probably felt abandoned by Sam. When you say ‘He still took’ and ‘he takes some more’, it is unclear what you mean by this. Also, Dean’s radar for Sam is pretty sharp; it’s unlikely that Sam would be doing any crying right next to him without Dean noticing almost immediately. It’s also unlikely that Sam would lay his head on Dean’s shoulder and seek comfort while they are driving. Maybe it’s likely after Dean notices that Sam is upset and then pulls to the side of the road, but not while driving.
Chapter 2: The emotions you brought out were very gut-wrenching but there was just something in the way some lines were written that had innuendo on the dreaded “w” (at least dreaded for me... I hate it, I avoid reading it. period.) Because of that innuendo, I didn’t find this chapter to be as enjoyable as it should have been. And it should have been because the emotions were written excellently.
Chapter 3: Good imagery, well written. But again, you have twinges of that awkward fine line of the brothers’ relationship where there is a huge difference between having ‘love’ for your brotherly in a clean, entirely sibling manner, or being ‘in love’ with your brother in the forbidden manner.
Oops, this review was long! That’s what happens when I have too much time on my hands. Anyways, you have a good idea and presented it nicely for your first story. Well written (with the exception of those strange innuendos). Thank you for sharing.
| pmsdevil01 chapter 3 . 8/2/2007
I thought it was so cute!
| Spuffyshipper chapter 3 . 7/23/2007
| prolixmay chapter 3 . 7/23/2007
yes yes yes, the second chapter was the best, for my by far, how Dean just let Sammy embrace him, and how Sammy, just liked the touch, the smell and well everything about Dean, how he wanted to remember Dean forever. So well put and so well written. I really hope in the series that Dean survives, cause if he doesn't we will all hunt down the producers and the directors asses and drag them to hell...;) Nice JOB, can't wait for the next review.
| silentpixiee chapter 3 . 7/23/2007
i LOVE LOVE LOVE your writing...it just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside lol. I can't wait to read more from you!
| supergirl3684 chapter 3 . 7/23/2007
Loved it! I love seeing how Sam sees Dean..."his knight"... hope there is more to come!
| Linnie McCary chapter 3 . 7/23/2007
Well, I've just had a big, tasty order of Sammy-angst to go with my breakfast this morning! Lovely and painful and sweet.
"There isn't enough air to breathe, not enough of Dean to hold on to." THAT was fabulous!
| constant.stargazer chapter 3 . 7/23/2007
Don't get me wrong I think you are a good writer (I've been following the other story) and I'm a huge fan of Sam and Dean's relationship.
However, I don't know what's up with everyone else, but I simply find this a tad creepy. Have you already written the part where they kiss and tell eachother how much they love on another?1 Because it seems like you are heading in that direction *shudders*
I understand how much Sam would admire and love Dean for what he did/does but I suppose when you write it, the way it comes off is...like he is IN love him.
Basically I just find the whole thing written in a way that makes me think of Sam as a pathetic two year old with a small vocabularly and low IQ. Sam has more substance than how you are writing him but I can see that isn't what you are trying to focus on.
| prolixmay chapter 1 . 7/20/2007
AW...;( so sad and definitely a tearjerker, I liked it how Dean just lets Sammy get close to him, just to tell Dean that he still loves him, tell him that he's sorry. Dean really did sacrifice a lot, but in the end, what he sacrificed for was worth more than life itself, and you showed that. Plus the best part, the ending, "can i be your knight too?"...so sad, but amazing at the same time...PROPS ;)
| supergirl3684 chapter 2 . 7/20/2007
What do I think! I'm amazed! Seriously that was so much emotion...I have tears in my eyes! I'd be crying right now, if it weren't for the fact that I've been hyper all day (Think 5 year olf on a sugar high) My heart is pounding and breaking... OMG! WOW...To say I love it would be an understatement!
| rozzy07 chapter 2 . 7/20/2007
Well talk about literally tearing my heart into shreds hear. Sam falling apart, blaming himself for all those deaths that have followed him since birth,and now having to face his brother's - was just so eloquently put across. Grief, true grief, holds him tight when he finally collapse. A world without Dean because of him is just unimaginable and far to painfull to want to endure. Great story telling.
| angeleyenc chapter 2 . 7/20/2007
this was so good! aww! brotherly love!