|Reviews for Thoughts that I can't control|
| Natylol chapter 1 . 8/4/2012
Very cute story!x3
| animeXIII chapter 1 . 7/1/2008
| yo wuz up chapter 1 . 2/27/2007
brilliant story you are really good at writing I hope you write some more zolu *adds to favorites and alerts
| blueaorta chapter 1 . 2/24/2007
Yay! You put a story up! I've been checking your profile to see whether you'd written anything, but now I won't have to because I can put you on my alert list! Anyway. The story.
You aren't OOC at all here. You're very, very IC. It's good. Your plotline is realistic and funny, and the section at the beginning with Zoro's thoughts is very well done. Yeah, you do have some grammar mistakes, and it would improve the story a lot if they weren't there, simply because it's easier to read. I'll be your beta-reader if you don't have one yet. (if you want one that is.) You'll get better on your own, too, though. (not that I should be talking, I've only been on here for like a month, and I haven't really improved much) You could also be a little more descriptive. I just got that comment from somebody the other day, and it's true; it'll help pull readers in and make it easier to write long chapters, you just have to make sure it doesn't take over the action.
The end with Nami was good. It squashed my hopes of yaoi (but that's totally my fault), but it was funny and, again, realistic. anyway, great work! Post more soon!