Reviews for Season Four: Through the Cracks
daywalkr82 chapter 6 . 3/25/2007
Great chapter. The ending reminds me of that movie EdTV.
Pharaoh Rutin Tutin chapter 6 . 3/25/2007
NO! This is Terible!

Not another *#$KP& ! Reality-Show!

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

This was too weird. Thanks.
Akinyi chapter 5 . 3/25/2007
‘Her third step landed her foot in a slimy substance that she was sure would never wash out of her suit.’ It looks like Shego has just experienced one of the many joys Middle High School’s mystery meat has to offer. Now the only question is, was that yesterday’s mystery meat or tomorrow’s?
TheBaldOneMpls chapter 6 . 3/25/2007
What can I say that hasn't already been said? Flat-out amazing work.
Comet Moon chapter 6 . 3/25/2007
Man your good
leadfoot352 chapter 5 . 3/21/2007
You are what we readers look for. I hate the mass of crappy little storys that seem to not to connect to the...soul of the show itself.

Most 'writers' here just think of something and slam it onto the net and call it a story. They ignore the feel of the show, it's subtleness of comedy, it's hidden messages, it's good taste and most importantly the fact that the bad guys not only lose, but get schooled. (Which is the reason that I like this show in the first place.)

You were wise enough to see past what you might have thought would be a good story, and kept it close enough to the main show. Many 'writers' just decide to take off with the show until it has nothing to do with it except for the naked mole rat. The villans never use any real weapons and Kim and Ron never really get put into any major danger.

I also love how you avoided the temptation of having them launch straight from the prom to the bed room if you know what I mean.

Finally you decided that the stupid villans were just that, stupid. They have half baked sceams. Hence, they never once win against our heroes. Drakken does stupid things like dig through trash and blather without end. So many 'writers' decide to take it upon themselves to make the baddies smarter and more dangerous.

I thank you for this story and for your time. Now I shall sit here and wait while I watch episodes on youtube.

Peace and Love,

Leadfoot352
Randy C chapter 5 . 3/20/2007
Okay... so much good stuff here I might get lost, so bear with me. Furthermore, its getting harder and harder to write these reviews as the quality of your work continues to hold up. There's only so many ways I can compliment your spot-on characterizations and pitch perfect sense of comic timing. If you don't start sucking soon, we're going to have a problem.

You've got the format of the show down so perfectly that I'm beginning to suspect that you are holding Schooley and McCorkle captive in an old stone well in your basement. You even feature the commentative school marquee, an oft ignored, but always welcomed, detail that shows your dedication to the show and the world it inhabits.

As brief as his appearance here may be, Barkin really shined. He's a character I've always felt they could do more with on the show. And though your treatment of him didn't really expand his role beyond what we are familiar with on the show, the material was certainly better. It should be noted that the two biggest laughs he generates are provided courtesy of the narration. His cursory intimation with world domination is humorously illustrative of the typical manly-man fantasy a guy like Barkin must have every couple of hours, like thinking he can survive in a harsh wilderness filled with predatory animals because he successfully transferred an item from his feet to his hands. You also have one of the best descriptions of him I've ever read: Barkin "whose workload within the school seemed to defy the laws of space and time." What other explanation could there be? Perhaps Barkin is a master of bilocation and that will be coming into play in Molloy's Pynchon/Possible fic.

And do you know who else is funny here? Kim. It's refreshing to see her doing broad comedy for a change. Though quite capable of being very funny with the well-placed acidic quip, Kim often acts as the straight man to Ron's helpless blunderer. An important role in comedy, mind you, but a seemingly thankless one to those who perform it. Her transformation into an "enraged, vengeful zombie" is hilarious, and having it be school-induced gives me sympathy pangs for the girl. With someone else handling the duties of comedic stumblebum, you give Ron some room to grow a bit. Though he's never in danger of becoming too serious (he's Ron, after all), you do show he has a wide range be it his surprising, if short-lived, upper-hand gain over Shego in the laboratory or his sweet-hearted dedication to his girlfriend that leads him to the city dump and thoughts of a future shared with a crazy, zombie lady.

I almost felt sorry for Drakken. What with his Team Possible playset and junkyard scavenger hunts, I couldn't help but feel as if he were the star in some pathetic passion play. Loved it. Don't change it. And since it looks like we're going to be robbed of the "dating discovery" moment in the series, thank you for picking up the slack and creating a scenario good enough to be put in the canon. The action sequences were exhilirating and well communicated, meaning I had no problem seeing what was happening, a major compliment considering my lack of imagination concerning most things thrilling.

This is the best episode thus far, and better than a good number of actual KP episodes. As usual, I can't wait to see what's next.
Meca Vegeta chapter 5 . 3/18/2007
damn...
Stand Alone Battle A.I chapter 5 . 3/18/2007
i lauphed, i cried,(mostly from lauphing) schools out? is my favorite of all the works youve done. no one cant even begin to come close to the quality if humor in this chapter. i cant even pick out a favorite part, all i can say is this is what i come to this site for. and thank you for delivering
Molloy chapter 5 . 3/18/2007
I really wish you had written this earlier. Like maybe twelve months ago - and that it had somehow been placed in the hands of the KP production team. Why? Not only for the obvious reason that I feel this is on par with some of the better KP episodes, but because I WANT TO SEE IT!

I concur with Randy C's review of an earlier episode - in these episodes you do not sense the presence of an intruder - all you sense is KP and Ron.

I find it hard to summarize everything I really, really liked about the episode. I really liked the entire thing, but there were so many things I really, really liked. Oh man.

All the characterizations were SPOT-ON, NAILED DEAD-SOLID-PERFECT. Dialog, pacing,everything!

SOME highlights.

Shego and the Wadebot going toe to toe.

The return of Roachie. I so hope he makes an S4 appearance.

How Drakken and Ron again share the same brain and therefore find their "solutions" in the same unlikely place.

The set-up of the problem (Kim's grades) was very well done. Very improbable but at the same time very in tune with the KP universe.

My favorite part however was the treatment of Kim. And I am not merely speaking of your capture of the Kimness factor. Rather, I refer to how icky you make her.

Two of my favorite episodes ("Sick Day/Truth Hurts") are echoed by this episode. The reason I like those episodes so much is because they underscore Kim's messy (nevertheless lovable) humanity. She is not a pristine, perfect girl. She gets ill (and gross ill at that), gets pimples (and tries to cover them up), has bad hair days, and picks her nose. Importantly, her character is such that this reality does not diminish her likability, it only increases it.

You deftly demonstrated this Kim gets less and less sleep as the week wears on. Her drooling, snoring, blood-shot eyes, and facial ticks only make her more endearing as a character.

Finally, as you have previously, you skillfully demonstrate the fluffy factor between Ron and Kim without getting mushy. And I am not speaking of Ron looting through the city dump for her paperwork (he would have done that on his own for the last packet of five-alarm hot sauce). I am speaking of the fact that he doesn't look away or even make a face when confronted with Kim at the breakfast table Friday morning. She is looking her worst (and very close to losing her mind) but all he sees is his friend of fourteen years needing desperate help. That is love, sir.

Bravo, bravo sir.
Molloy chapter 4 . 3/16/2007
Nice, nice opening - the stark and vivid details you gave to the prison and the approaching storm was a great set-up for Drakken's blues gag. Nice having him sing the blues, too.

I think this series gets better with each episode. The running gags really worked well with this half-episode. "Ambidextrous" and the crossword puzzle, especially.

The other key element I liked was that this stayed true to the spirit of the show in regards to the villains. Although each one posited Kim and Ron with a potentially lethal peril (the knight-Killigan, the octopus-S, and the paper mache prison-Lucre-well, two out of three) humor was still the dominate note to their characters. Every villain was hilarious and consistently so. Many fics want to make the villains so EVIL that they leave no room for the laugh-factor.

Furthermore, Kim and Ron's reactions to the villains also rang true with the show. Although they showed a flash of real panic when they thought the other had been really hurt, Kim was mostly annoyed by their machinations and Ron was mostly oblivious. Again, this strikes a fluffy note without being overly mushy. Furthermore, the reason why Ron can be so lackadasical most of the time is because of the confidence he has in Kim.

Nice sinister twist at the end without sacrificing the humor that has come before.
Molloy chapter 3 . 3/16/2007
You really have the show's format nailed! There was so much in this chapter that read like a KP transcript!

The running gag of practically every male character having a coronary when they learned that BN was closed is a prime example. And it even worked its way into the resolution, too. Nice job!

Everyone was in character, and it was nice to see Monique. She is a character that usually comes off as a characiture in fics. Not here. Snarky but with the right degree of levity. MrsDrP also had a charming cameo.

The action scene in the middle was also well done. Perfectly-timed with the "commercial" breaks.

My two favorite scenes involved K/R fluff. I like such scenes anyway, but what made these scenes (the necklaces and Kim's thought "'God only knows what he’d do for me…' Goosebumps shivered her spine as she turned to her salad.") so fantastic was that they were low-key. They expressed the deep feelings between the two indirectly, so the scenes didn't get overwhelmed by mush. One of the criticism of my story (UtEotW) that I refuse to wholly accept the validity of is that I make K/R too mushy. You get the emotions down without treading over that line. Very, very nice.

Overall, an excellent episode!
Kimron Posstoppable chapter 5 . 3/15/2007
I love that every chapter so far reads like actual S4 KP episodes, from the dialogue to the action scenes. Everyone speaks and acts exactly the way they would on the show.

You have a real affection for these characters and it shows. :)

Looking forward to the next chapter.
BrotillaTheHun chapter 5 . 3/15/2007
I've only recently gotten into KP as a series and as fanfiction...however I will say that this story is really well done, it exactly captures the feel of the series. Very good characterizations and dialogue, which were again, very true to the tv show. Keep up the great work, I can't wait to see the next chapter!
Magnatron The NR Fan chapter 5 . 3/15/2007
Before I review this episode I thought I should mention that when I saw that this story was back I skipped the summary and dived right in; however I checked it out today and must say. I like it.

(Note the rest of this review won't make sense unless you've read chapter 5.)

As for this chapter your dumb skill has not come threw once again. This story does not fit right in with the rest of your work, and I did not enjoy it much. Oh and I'm not snickering right now.

God bless you.

I am not the Eggman!
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