|Reviews for Discovering Lily|
| THEWORLDOFHPEXISTSNOMATTERWHAT chapter 13 . 12/14/2007
I luv it plz update ASAP! i need more! u did a great job w/ this chap... can't wait 2 read more... UPDATE AS SOON AS U HUMANELY POSSIBLY CAN!
| asdfjkl chapter 13 . 12/13/2007
loved it! poor ginny. this sucks for her. i'm glad you explained creevey's thought process. that helped enormously.
| Miley chapter 13 . 12/13/2007
WOW! That was great... but if you were to update soon I would be ETERNALLY GRATEFUL!
| Motherlyclucker chapter 13 . 12/13/2007
Yay! You're back! This was a really intense chapter. I can't wait for the next chapter, keep up the good work!
| Love-Pink26 chapter 13 . 12/13/2007
Really great chapter. I never would have thought that it was Colin and Dennis' dad who was doing this to Harry and Ginny. Update soon! I can't wait for the next chapter!
| Cherrykisses21 chapter 13 . 12/13/2007
really good chapter
| Jamie Theobald chapter 13 . 12/13/2007
Thats perfectly understandable, my characters don't want to play alot either. This was a great chapter and I can't wait to find out if they catch Corwick or not.
| lemonwedges4 chapter 13 . 12/13/2007
| jbern chapter 12 . 12/9/2007
Here's my problem with this chapter. Harry and Ginny are ill, so with no bodyguard and saddled with an additional child they're sent out into the world.
Next is Harry running from a fight. It seems quite out of character for him. I can see him sending Ginny away perhaps with Hermione as a bodyguard, but it just seems odd that he would leave and have others fighting the battle for him. You could argue that he's only interested in protecting Ginny, but it still doesn't sit well.
Everyone insisting that a psychopath makes mistakes is also troubling. They are first assuming that the enemy is a psychopath and typically only start making mistakes after they have killed a number of people and grow careless.
As a reminder, what ever happened to the person stunned attacking Hermione and Ginny? That's kind of a dangling plot hole out there?
Good luck continuing. I hope my reviews have helped you consider facets of the story.
| jbern chapter 11 . 12/9/2007
Why not travel the Muggle way? Have them take a cruise to the tropics. They'd be surrounded by water almost instantly. Japan seems a bit of an odd choice.
Harry's behavior seems a bit off. While Ginny is understandably not taking any medication because she is nursing, Harry is being a bit of an idiot while someone is threatening his family.
Glad you came back to mentioning the magical trace spell. Fudge now dead adds to the mix.
| jbern chapter 10 . 12/9/2007
George brought Luna in the last chapter and Alicia in this chapter. Minor continuity error there, or George is a bit of a player. Also while I'm thinking about it, in the aftermath of the attack (the attacker hasn't been identified or mentioned since - another small problem) Bill was told to come to the Burrow, because the house in Ottery St. Catchpole wasn't safe.
The burrow of course also being in that town might be a bit of a problem.
Lullabys having magical power and oceans disrupting scrying are interesting concepts.
| jbern chapter 9 . 12/9/2007
A couple of pieces to the puzzle. George and Luna? Charlie and Cho? What is it with those Weasley men and younger women. Ron was the only one to buck the system, though no mention of Percy in this story.
One thing bothering me, if Hermione's detection spell used by Harry to show magic works. Why haven't they used it to see that Ginny is under some for of magical assault?
| jbern chapter 8 . 12/9/2007
Strange that Lily and James would be trying to use a potion to circumvent the Killing Curse. Why wouldn't James and Lily be assigned a research project? It's not like they were doing much else at the time.
The fight scene didn't really do it for me, but you're not billing this as action/adventure.
Hermione and Ron have a son already? That somewhat conflicts with the impression in chapter 1 where Hermione says she'll be a mum too - probably should have said mum
| jbern chapter 7 . 12/9/2007
Hmm, thought the female centaur was a bit unnecessary. Was there anything she did that Firenze couldn't have done?
So, someone dead is after Ginny through a mental connection. Snape moves to the front of the list. You mentioned Horcruxes so this is post book 6. Wonder how Severus died in your
| jbern chapter 6 . 12/9/2007
The divination scene was good. Someone with a connection to Ginny eh? Wonder if they'll consider looking down in the Chamber of Secrets? You made a point of saying all the Malfoy's died, but it wouldn't be the first time MLES was wrong would it?
Interesting chapter, no real quibbles in this