Reviews for Unable
lisa chapter 1 . 11/27/2012
it was sweet sexy and amazing i think this lemon was sour and sweet just how i like it
DeanWinchesterLove2119 chapter 1 . 5/7/2010
Wow... That was amazing... I loved it! You should really do a second chapter!
alphabeticalescape chapter 1 . 8/16/2009
No, it didn't totally suck, it was...nice. ;) I really want to write a multi-chapter story about jacobxedward, but I can't really think of anything. God, I FAIL at plotlines *SHOT*
centuryshorty chapter 1 . 7/3/2009
wooh hot, this wasn't meaningless

greatb job
PleiadesWolfe chapter 1 . 5/10/2009
If Edward and Jacob were in a relationship of any kind this is how I could see it being.
frapanappy chapter 1 . 1/29/2009
i enjoyed your pointless smut
Utena-Puchiko-nyu chapter 1 . 1/21/2009
It's excellent smutt XD Write more!

Kisses from Argentina!
Magician Girl Mirani chapter 1 . 12/23/2008
What do you mean it sucks? This is great! I love Edward/Jacob. It's really good if Edward is dominated. It just makes him seem even hotter to me. Don't know why and don't care as long as Edward seems hot and boy oh boy you managed bo make him EXTREMELY hot!
gbfwolf chapter 1 . 12/22/2008
writers's block my ass that was FUCKING AMAZING! I mean wow who knew you could do so much in a janitor's closet loved it when Edward took control of the situation I really love it when Edward is on top (especially of Jacob)anyway just saying it was amazing xD!
HangTogetherOrHangSeperate chapter 1 . 12/7/2008
oh. i like it. i thought bella would walk in on them for awhile.
quantuminferno chapter 1 . 12/2/2008
So great. Smut is spectacular. _
Kisia-chan chapter 1 . 11/24/2008
Hmm... I do believe I just commented a story of yours not five minutes ago. XD Three down the list and heres another of yours. I'm fairly pleased with this one as well. Its good for a pointless smut. I think I'm far to pleased with your other work to be to cruel to you so all,(as I said I'm not know for nice reviews) I'll say is you could work on your detailing and timing during the 'smut'. It went a little to quickly at the start and near the ending. Though the banter between Jacob and Edward.
XxTaintedxDaggerxX chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
hmm... this actually is a good plot for a story! I'd like to see you continue this!~
ShesMyWorld chapter 1 . 8/15/2008
I love PWP. There's just something about them getting to have sex, with no real reason. (though you gave it a great plot... wait, so is it really PWP then?)

I found a couple issues though.

*'that caused his heart to thrum almost painfully against his ribcage' Edward's heart doesn't beat.

*Paragraph 2 and 3, 'heavy breaths escaped swollen lips.' and 'leaving small red marks in their wake.' I believe both are related to blood pooling in a certain area. His lips would become swollen from suction of Jake's lips as would a hicky.

*'Once they were coated with enough saliva' technically it would be venom considering all bodily fluids were replaced with such.

*This one isn't a correction; lol, Edward purred!

*'Edward hissed, his warm breath tickling the werewolf's face.' Wouldn't Edward have cold breath as Bella always said?

*'However, it was more than welcome when he felt himself being enveloped by a warmth that sent shivers down his spine.' Edward's whole body is freezing cold. Moreso since the contrast of Jake's temperature of 108 to Edward's in the 30's or low 40's.

*I think Edward would be panting more out of a human instinct still left there after his change. He doesn't really NEED air though it makes him seem more... human.

These were just little bits that I notice in a lot of Twilight slash. Writers tend to give Edward more human traits then he would normally have.

I absolutely adore this pointless little piece of smut! Aint enough well written pieces of that on the site!

Also, why must most Carlisle/Edward stories have to be written horribly with unrealistic plot twists, character evaluations and grammar. Grammar is Love! lol

Anyhoo, I love it! Write more stuff soon!


Jenna's Bitch!
TGyamiBakura chapter 1 . 7/31/2008
GOOD SMUT IS GOOD! xD I just recently fell into the dark hole that is the twilight fandom and i'm already seeking slash xD I'm terrible... ah well. Edward's just far too sexy not to slash with other people... _;; oops kekeke

But yeah, good smut, keep it up!
55 | Page 1 2 3 .. Last Next »