|Reviews for The Other Potter|
| RoyalPrincessHinataHyuga chapter 2 . 8/18/2012
lol i love this its so funny how she had the dursley's wrapped around her sort .
| Skychild101 chapter 2 . 6/22/2011
wow just wow, You know this is one of the BEST STORY I COULD FIND ON FANFIC! FANTASIQUE! HOPE YOU UPDATE :) Pwease?
| Zweeni chapter 2 . 7/18/2009
Ok, why is everybody in this story so retarded? Have they lost, like, all their IQ points or something?
Why is Harry so cool with the fact that his sister randomly strode into the house...wait a sec, I just realized: How DID she just stride into the house? She surely didnt Apparate? And if she walked in through the door, wouldnt the Dursley's have been the ones who opened the door, and therefore have known her before Harry introduced her?
This is way weird, dude. Your Mary Sue (wont call her a character) scares me...
Little WHINING? Whining? As in what kids do? It's Whinging, just by the way. You could AT LEAST check up the proper spelling of the god damn place they live in.
How does she remember exactly what happened to her? I need my mother to tell me stuff I used to do when I was TWO! How come she remembers stuff that happened to her when she was one? And why is it stuff that HARRY himself doesnt remember?
Why have you made Voldemort such an idiot? He was the greatest Dark Wizard for a reason, you know. He hits one kid, the spell backfires and hits him real hard, and he turns around and DOES IT AGAIN? Why the HECK would he do that? He really wasnt thick. This sounds like slapstick comedy where someone keeps doing things which cause him pain to make it seem humorous.
Are Uncle Vernona and Aunt Petunia HIGH? Seriously, did someone spike their toothpaste or something? Why the hell are they acting so nice? Madeleine or wait, I mean "mad-a-lyn" seems like SUCH a sad Mary Sue that I'M cringing in shame.
How does she know the Dursley's wanted a girl? On top of everything, is she fucking psychic too? AARGH! I cant take the Mary Sueishness anymore!
I tried this story, because it seemed nice. I'll go kill myself for believeing you're a decent author now.
Good bye. Enjoy you're non-existant writing career.
| Carojen chapter 2 . 7/9/2007
Just pointing out a few plot-holes. The compliments come in the end.
How could Maddie remeber something from before her parents died? She was less than four months, people cannot remember that far back.
How come she did not die from starvation before Ms. May found her? One week is a very long time to go without food and water, especially for an infant.
Why did not Voldemort die first time the curse backfired? He should at least have been hurt and realised that it would be a bad idea to try again on the other sibling.
Maddie's outburst in the end of the chapter; why did not Dumbledore tell her about the wizarding world when he told her about her brother?
Lastly, the older Dursley's are either hopelessly OOC (out of character), or Maddie has some kind of really strong charm on her that makes everyone like and trust her immidiately, which in that case should be explained later.
You should also check out the concept 'Mary Sue', and if you are making Maddie one on purpose, write it out in the summary.
Make it take a little more time for Harry to accept that Maddie is his sister; the same goes for the Dursleys. How would YOU react if someone suddenly was at your home and told you that s/he was your long-lost relative that you have never heard of before?
Now over to the good points of your story.
Your writing is _really_ good and I think you could actually make this story work despite the clichés, if you just thought it through a bit more. At the moment it is readable, but most people would pass it over because of the plot-holes I mentioned.
One of my first tries at Harry Potter-fanfiction was something very much like this, so I suspect you are either young, unexperienced with reading/writing fanfiction, or both (or just don't care what people think about it).
With that said, I think you should continue writing this story. Hopefully you will try to make it more realistic, but even if you do not there is still people who will like to read it. For myself, I think it will be interesting to see what happens next.
| harrymione4ever7 chapter 2 . 6/12/2007
i liked it update soon plz!
| Nat-y2k2 chapter 2 . 6/11/2007
i like harry reati0on to her update soon
| halfelven chapter 1 . 2/27/2007
cool story i like it so far! update please