|Reviews for The Ocarina of Time|
| Elfa chapter 15 . 2/10/2008
O_o I'm shocked! You killed Saria! I thought I had misunderstood when you said that she was dead, but no... You actually killed her! *looks suspicious* You are not going to kill the other sages, ARE YOU? I mean... Just because they're in the Sacred realm, it doesn't mean they're dead! And remember! They appear in the End Credits so they are not dead. *maybe they're ghosts...* lol Just kidding! :P
| Elfa chapter 12 . 2/9/2008
Wow! You are improving(not as good as last chapiter, though!) This is actually a difficult chapiter to write; Link's acceptance of his destiny. And You actually kept your promise! Link really is kicking some buts! xD Love the ending!
| Elfa chapter 11 . 2/9/2008
Awesome... REALLY AWESOME! I can't find words to describe it... :D This is actually my favorite part of the game and it's a shame that in the game they don't go into details... Ganondorf's take over... I love it! If you actually continue like this, then you will become my favorite Zelda writer!
| Elfa chapter 9 . 2/9/2008
Have you read the Ocarina of time Novelization written by "Arxane"? Your storys are quite similar(zelda's dream 1st chap., meeting Malon(before Castle town and after Death mountain), the Great Fairy Mother from Death mountain, and even calling the sun "Din's Eye",...) If don't, you should read it! It looks like yours(...except in his/her story, he/she added some extra events)*Or maybe I just find them alike because they are the only novelizations I have ever read...?* :P lol ...Whatever... It's good to see the differents points of view!
| Elfa chapter 7 . 2/9/2008
I loved the references to the Twilight princess game! You made it seem like the games are connected somehow(each game has it's story so it's hard to connect them...)! And that's good! ;) Please continue!
| Elfa chapter 2 . 2/9/2008
I like your story so far(even if I only read the first two chapiters :P)! However I don't think you should have put a Wolfos so early in the story! I mean... If they only appear AFTER the seven years, it's because they are probably too strong for young Link to handle! You said it yourself. Link's is not a expert with swords because he just got one. But I agree with you when you said that his sword skills will gradually evolve. So maybe you should have make him face a weaker foe and THEN you can put the Wolfos! But it's your story so I'll shup my mouth(in this case, my keyboard XD) and leave you to do your job! :)
| Elfa chapter 3 . 2/9/2008
Good story so far! *thumbs up* I agree with you on this chapter. I mean... trees aren't supposed to be hollow! I know the Great Deku Tree is a Great Magic Guardian Spirit but even with Magic, trees aren't supposed to be hollow!(and also with huge metallic doors on the inside for that matter XD) But your found a good solution for that! :D And it really fits! Keep it up! And don't forget to find rational explanations to the others game-ish details of the game! I'm looking forward to read your completed story!
| Wot Wot Wark chapter 18 . 1/19/2008
Sorry for a useless review with no constructive criticism, but I just wanted to say really quick that I'm really looking to the next chapter (and the fact that it's been recently updated gives me a lot of hope :D).
| Wot Wot Wark chapter 6 . 1/19/2008
I love all the additional scenes you put in; they fit really well with "canon" and I think do very well in expanding upon the basic story. Definitely indicative of an excellent novelization :) And this is so well-written, too!
| Wot Wot Wark chapter 1 . 1/19/2008
This is really good. Darn you for getting me hooked on a long, good fic :P Now I have to read everything before school starts ...
| Sorceress Cassandra180 chapter 18 . 1/15/2008
I must say I"m starting like this in depth version of Ocarina of Time as much if not better than the orginal story itself!
The way you tied all of the Zelda games together (well the few I played) is amazingly real, and your writing style is as breathtaking as a fantasy writer.
| KiloWhiskeyOscar chapter 3 . 1/11/2008
Alright, so far I've read three chapters up to now and I'm loving this. I'll be reading more in the long run so keep up the good work.
| The Eagle1989 chapter 18 . 1/4/2008
This is a brilliant novelization of Ocarina of Time. Probably one of the best ones I have read/seen. I like the way you have written it. Keep up the good writing.
Please update soon!
| Altum chapter 18 . 12/2/2007
Your story is well-crafted and I've been reading bits and pieces of it. The quality differs, it's obvious where your strengths are, just as your weaknesses. It's good to see you trying to write different types of scenes and develop yourself.
I have to say I'm not too happy with your rendition of Ganondorf, however. He doesn't feel as wise, cold, and calculating as I've always envisioned him. Ganondorf, in my mind, has always been a sympathetic villain, even if ruthless. Your story seems to place him as just overwhelmingly and stereotypically evil. Not necessarily a bad thing since it's stylistic and representative of your interpretation, but he just comes off in a way that irks me. He just feels like a little kid with power and a temper. Sure, he's strong, but it just feels less intimidating to me.
Otherwise, I like your version of Hyrule at this point in time. Well done.
| Raskol chapter 5 . 12/1/2007
Wow. I haven't reviewed in a long time; haven't had much time to read around, especially since your chapters are so long. Anyways, onto the story:
First two paragraphs are blatant infodumps. My eyes glazed over and I don't know the purpose of said paragraphs; they seem to be there just for you to show off your knowledge of the cultures. Not a good start to a new chapter. Also, since you're writing in third-person limited, there is another problem: this section is written in Link's viewpoint. Sheltered as he is, I doubt he'll know anything about the Zora, the Hylians (maybe more about them), the Gerudo, or the Gorons.
Again, this blond/blonde thing...
Second section: another infodump regarding Sages - and again, it was rather boring. Nevertheless, I enjoyed Kaepora's section as a whole much more than I had enjoyed Link's section at the beginning, probably because more happens. All Link does is go to the edge of the forest, get scared, go back into the forest and sleep; yup, very interesting...
You refer to Link using several labels: blonde boy, heavy sleeper, Kokiri boy, the Kokiri...Please don't keep changing them; since Link is the only male character present in some of the scenes, you can stick with a simple "he" for several paragraphs if need be; you do not have to continue switching around, as it gets rather annoying and detracts from the story.
I would have enjoyed it had you mentioned the food's taste in the third section regarding Link's traveling food. It would have been nice to get a sense other than sight and sound - and once Link reached Hyrule, maybe contrasting that taste with Hylian foods' tastes may have shown some underlying cultural difference. Just a thought; I know you've gone on already, so yeah...
You use unnecessary tags. Drop them. For instance: [...bolted from underneath the forest’s protective boughs and into the open grasslands, laughing in pure joy.] - Well, obviously he's laughing in "pure joy"...The readers can figure it out. Perfectly implied. Plus, adding in the tag breaks the flow.
Repetition of words: You know about this problem already...
[“Tell me, Link, do you believe in fate?” the question surprised the boy further...] - "The question..." Capitalization there...Typo.
Um...If a random owl came upon me and started speaking to me about my destiny, I'd have a whole lot more questions than: "Who are you?" Seriously, I'd be asking him exactly what this "destiny" entails, etc... Just a thought; it wasn't very 3D of Link to have nothing to ask rather than that one question.
By the way: Try to hoot the owl's dialogue. It's not possible. Make sure what you're writing is feasible. Sort of like how you can't hiss something that doesn't have any sibilants.
Wish you had more on the Wolfos POV, though it was rather random, since I assume they'll be killed later on. From the previous chapters, we already knew that they were tracking Link, so I don't know exactly what that small section added to the story - but whatever floats your boat.
On to the next Wolfos POV: I have a feeling that you're envisioning this more as a movie than as a story, from the way you keep switching viewpoints...Hmm...
Repetition of description: Uh - I think I can understand that the Wolfos leak black fire whenever they're cut. You don't have to repeat it several times within the span of a few paragraphs.
So Talon and Malon were just standing by, doing nothing while Link fought the Wolfos? What about the horses? Why didn't they panicked? Surely the scent would alarm them at the very least; they aren't warhorses so they aren't trained to curb their instincts.
Didn't spot many typos. Good job on that.
Haha, sorry if I sounded ornery in this review. Just took my SATs today - exhausting.