Reviews for The Ocarina of Time
Farli30519 chapter 11 . 7/29/2011
i love this story but i do have one problem with it. the 300 quotes. the reading was great but that just killed it for me right there. i love the movie 300 but for some reason it just doesn't work for me. especially the scene with impa. i was cringing. on a good note, i love the story and look forward to more. keep writing!
Svenlax45 chapter 23 . 3/16/2011
Peptuck,

Anxiously awaiting the update to this story.

Hope all is well in real life.

Your writing has been the only thing I check after 5 years or more of reading this site.

Semper Fidelis.
Avenger09 chapter 1 . 3/2/2011
Atention all Zelda Fans I have stubled across something witch all of you should be aware of this



must be seen it is the single greatast fanart i have ever seen
Daniel Hayne chapter 23 . 2/2/2011
Said I would review again, and here I am.

Nice to see the obvious film inspired moments have been either blended or removed, creates a better sense of action if the reader can concentrate on the story, rather than think about the film lol.

Grammar problems have dropped in frequency, nicely done! I made one on the previous review, so we all do it, can't dismiss the power of proof reading, although, obviously, it doesn't catch everything. I've seen Spelling and Grammar errors in books by Dan Abnett and other published writers.

A highly realistic take (if you excuse fairies, dragons, shadows, mystical civilisations and magic) on the story. Always a plus when it comes to the novelization of any game. When playing the game, the human element comes from the player, and that is what makes a good game; player enthralment. Writing has to portray the characters as human, through the words used to shape their actions, and I can say without a doubt, to me, that you have accomplished this nicely.

In all, a nicely scripted tale, with lots of prospects for the future, even if everyone knows the ending, it looks to be a great ride to get there!
Daniel Hayne chapter 11 . 2/1/2011
Straight to the point I guess;

The bad:

Scenes ripped, or inspired, from films often ruin a story, particularly if the reader has scene the film in question, it can destroy the frame of mind that you are creating for them with the words you meld into a whole.

A lot of grammar errors or the wrong words in places, I've noticed this on a number of the chapters before this one, I know that there are a lot of words in each chapter, and I praise you for that, but a quick run-through or three are a god-send when it comes to writing.

The good:

Your writing style allows for many events to be portrayed in detail, as I have also read some of the Tiberium Wars story you are crafting. You can inspire the imagination to render the scenes you have typed out, and the words that are read flow easily in the mind, I've read numerous stories that try to bludgen scnes through my eyeballs so punishingly, that I've mearly lost interest and wandered of else where.

Chapter 11 shows a shift in tone, the game got a lot darker in setting and placement at this point, and you've adjusted the story to match, whether by accident or on purpose doesn't matter, it fits. The game was always slightly too light in it's portrayal of wholesale defeat for my tastes, but I like where you have gone here.

In all my friends, you have a fantastic writing style, something that many writers can aspire to at the most basic level, however you just need to watch for the basics, I strongly recommend that you find someone to proofread your chapters, be it a parent, sibling or friend.

I will keep reading from this point up, and give you another reivew as I near the end. Keep up with the great writing!
Marcus S. Lazarus chapter 23 . 12/30/2010
Hoo boy...

You REALLY know what you’re doing here, I’ll give you that.

Not only do you retain everything about “Ocarina of Time” that made it so interesting as a game, but you expand on all the relevant details necessary to make it into a novel without detracting significantly from the themes demonstrated in the dungeons (As you said yourself, many of the dungeons as they were in the game don’t work in a narrative format, but your adaptation of such plot elements as the ‘tunnel’ Link travelled down to reach Queen Gohma among the Tree’s roots worked well).

Characterisation in the story is also well-thought-out, Link coming across as a main character forced into duty and responsibility before he fully has time to adapt to it, his resolve to do the right thing tempered by his own fear as he explores a new wider world that he never could have imagined in the past, while other characters such as Darunia and Ruto come across as far more pro-active than they were in the game where they just sat around and let Link do all the work rather than trying to take action themselves.

And as for your new take on Dark Link...

He might have only had one actual fight with his ‘template’ so far, but your idea regarding the circumstances of his creation- Phantom Ganon ‘provoking’ Link into demonstrating the darkest parts of his personality at a crucial moment- is a perfect concept in its relative simplicity, and the implications of his existence being tied into the corrupted Temples makes it clear that he’s not going to stop coming after Link any time soon.

Add in such attention to detail as your decision to ‘tweak’ such minor game-related details as Link retaining the Kokiri Sword as an adult- albeit as a dagger rather than a SWORD- and you have created far and away the best “Ocarina of Time” ‘novel’ adaptation I’ve ever read; I look forward to seeing what you’ve got coming up next...

You ARE going to continue this, right?
Storykage chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
Very, very ,very good. I know its a (not quite sure how to spell) novilazation but still its prity god dawm perfect. But I did see one or two spelling mistakes I belive might be wrong. If Zelda wasn't a game you could have published this and made millions.

-Storykage-
Blueninja33 chapter 2 . 12/12/2010
I really hope you return to this someday. I love Firefly and "forward" is really epic and awesome, but I'd also like to see an end to this one day.
Tikigod784 chapter 23 . 8/7/2010
ARGH I is wanting water temple action.

This is really an awesome telling of OoT. Hope you decide to update again. Mass Effect is cool, but I have to say Zelda trumps it for me. Nostalgia may have played a part.
Snot chapter 22 . 7/7/2010
Woah. As in, like, woah.

I think you won me over when Ganondorf called the Deku Tree a useless sack of kindling.

Usually novelizations are quite boring, because, let's face it, everyone already knows the story. Not so in this version. Enough is different that it's actually interesting. I absolutely love the language. Your words tend towards the potent, especially when it's used to describe abstract things like music or nostalgia. I've learned many new words while reading this ("ichor" and "thorax", for example).

Dark Link is awesome. Perhaps my favorite line as of yet is "Stop making sense and die already!" The story's gotten more enjoyable as Link has gotten snarkier, and little random moments (like the juju and the flippers) leave me snorting like a horse.

Thanks for writing, and I hope this story isn't forgotten.
Kelsey chapter 1 . 5/31/2010
I was linked to Tiberium Wars by a friend, and when I finished it and checked out your profile I had to see your Zelda fic, since I've actually played this game. I just finished reading the first chapter of that fic and this one, and I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed them. Your writing is fantastic, spelling and grammar are impeccable, dialog is engaging, and character actions are appropriately placed and well-described. These two chapters have been a joy to read, and I can't wait to finish both these works.

Thanks again!

Kelsey

kebevel
Incoqnito chapter 15 . 5/17/2010
Well .. I guess this chapter was supposed to be emotional, dramatic, epic and all that shit, but I was just .. bored. And when I got to the deus ex machina part I really had to push myself to keep reading ..

By the way TLoZ is set in a western medieval fantasy world, ki doesn't belong there.
sandrilenefatoren2 chapter 21 . 3/24/2010
He's the Geddessesdamned Hero of Time! He's the Goddamned Batman! Heehee!
Hawki chapter 3 . 3/13/2010
-Well what do you know? Deku sticks CAN be useful than for just torches as part of solving puzzles.

"How did you get the Kokiri Sword!"

A pressing question, but there should be question mark as part of the ending of the sentence.

"Damn it, why him? Mido growled quietly after Link had vanished. "Why do both the Great Deku Tree and Saria like him more than me? This is totally not fair . . . ."

Lol.

That being said, the ending of the first sentence seemed a bit off IMO. Link getting a fairy isn't exactly unknown to the kokiri, but for his special role to be made public knowledge by the Deku Tree as opposed to the general ignorance the kokiri have as seen in the game seemed out of place. Still, that's just me.

-Noticed the expansions on the Deku Tree's dialogue from the game. I'd say they were well done.

-Saira's section was short, but unlike many such sections in other fics, I'd say it complimented the chapter as a whole rather than feeling like an unnecessary distraction.

-Gohna's burrowing into the Deku Tree was an interesting touch. I'd say it fit in well.

-"Stepping on them works," Navi answered after a second. "They're usually smaller than your hand, actually . . . ."

Four dots instead of the usual three aside, it's nice to see that humour in the face of death never gets old.

-While a matter of perception, I noticed some possible similarities/inspiration between the Link/gohna fight here and that between Sam and Shelob from 'Lord of the Rings.' Not that this is a bad thing of course, as fiction doesn't exist in cultural vacuum. Regardless, I'd say the fight scene was done well here.

-You raise some good points about the style of LoZ dungeons and I understand the desire to cutback on them. Still, it could be argued that the exclusion of the traitorous deku shrub within the Deku Tree could have furthered the narrative rather than detracting from it like a puzzle, but that's subjective.

Anyway, good chapter overall.
Northernmegas chapter 23 . 3/8/2010
Other the a few really minor typos here and there. This is great stuff.

So with that aside, keep up the good work.

Till next time. Luck runs out, skill doesn't.
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