Reviews for Mondo Utah
ccase13 chapter 3 . 2/6/2012
This is a great story. The little blue flame is really creepy. I like the mysterious Utah stuff. I hate that this story never went any further.
vaguely amused chapter 3 . 5/3/2007
finally! one of the weirdest things about supernatural fic is the way the boys always dance around utah but never actually go there. half the fics i've read mention a possible case, or talk about driving through it or say the boys are going there next but they never actually make it. and it really is a bizarre place- half my family lives there and i keep trying to come up with excuses to avoid weddings or get-togethers, because frankly, it terrifies me. i hated the line about the bishop thinking the elder would apostate for missing one meeting, though. it's a little too accurate for comfort. i love your characterization of dean, especially. please continue!
ParallelVerse chapter 3 . 3/26/2007
For what it's worth, I like Nick. You describe her-or Sam and Dean see her-as open, vulnerable. But she feels enigmatic to me. What makes her who and what she is? It's one of the things I like about your writing. You make the reader work for it. It is more about feeling, intuition, than it is about information. I am intrigued by the (horror) story-where it came from and where it is going-and happy to let you keep taking me along for the ride because I know I will get it eventually. As for the sex scene, it was lovely. "...kissed a line of rhetorical questions between her cupcake breasts and down the soft round of her belly..." Wonderful image, that. And the fade to black-or in this case, maybe,light-caught at my heart. (So, do you get it that I really like your work?) Thanks for this one, too.
SilverStorm06 chapter 3 . 3/25/2007
cool chapter, but it was also a little disorienting. I still haven't quite figured out how they ended up in the meadow in the first place?
five.lines chapter 3 . 3/25/2007
Firstly, your prose is really beautiful. You *are* a good writer. However, and I hope you don’t mind me being a bit honest in this feedback…

You say this story isn’t about bashing Mormons, but, I just gotta say anytime you mess with someone else’s religion you’re in dangerous territory. Like trying to write from the perspective of an orthodox Jew or… There is a way to do it and a way to not.

The last two chapters haven’t bothered me so much, but the first one left a bad taste in my mouth and a little ugly feeling in the pit of my stomach. The tone about the Mormon’s felt a bit disdainful and cliché…like all Mormons are waiting around just ready to drop the façade so they can finally drop the F-bomb. There was no depth to the characters, no reality, and even if a character is going to die in the next thirty seconds I’d rather it be a character than a clichéd prop cut out. I know every religion has it’s hypocrites but…

And maybe I’m just sensitive to this. I worked with two Mormons and the comments and crap they had to put up with from our boss and everyone else at work was ridiculous. It’s like they couldn’t refuse a cup of coffee without getting hazed or sneered at. And everyone made fun of them for not swearing. The nicest comments they got about not swearing were "Oh that’s quaint or naive"…but neither of my Mormon co-workers was quaint or naive.

It was like I was working in Nazi Germany and Mormons were the new Jews. And it’s like our society says you have to respect and tolerate everything and everyone but Mormon’s are free game—them you make fun of and sneer at all you want.

My two co-workers took it all in stride, but, I could tell their religion was really sacred to them. I think your other chapters haven’t bothered me as much because they didn’t try as much to write from the pov of a Mormon, were more informational or speculative.

As it is, I think I’m going to bow out of this one for the duration. It was sort of, morbid curiosity (and your ability to write) that first drew me but…the little ugly feeling is still sitting in my stomach.
Phx chapter 3 . 3/25/2007
Actually I don't like Nick. No offence to you or your ability to write her but, by my own preference, I don't like OC girlfriends, and not interested in reading about a tag-along love interest for Dean, or an added 'hunter' of sorts. Honestly, I read SN for the brotherly interaction.

Good luck with the story and I am sure other people will enjoy it and I hope you don't mind me being honest as I had been reading.

One thing I have noticed though and it has made me wonder. A lot of stories that introduce an OC like Nick, usually give that person a name that when shortened could be taken as a guy's name. I do find that curious. There is Nick and I've also seen Steve, Jack, Dan. LOL!
Ginger Ninja chapter 2 . 3/14/2007
That was very intriguing indeed! Nick seems interesting but all this stuff about the Mormons sounds like it is gonna make for a good read.

And whatever Sam's picking up on, it can't be good.

Looking forward to more :D

GN
ParallelVerse chapter 2 . 3/14/2007
Mormons and Masons and Monti, oh my. This is going to be good. I'm fascinated by the Mormons and have done some reading, but I have not come across the book you referenced. I'll have to look for that now. I am very intrigued by the story so far, and impressed again with your prose and your subtlety at suggesting emotional subtext rather than beating your readers over the head with it.
SilverStorm06 chapter 2 . 3/14/2007
Utah has a unique weirdness? never noticed. You're not going to make this anti-mormon are you?

It looks interesting so far.
Machaggis chapter 2 . 3/14/2007
We have one connection to the murders now, will the next chapter talk about the Mormon connection? I really love the history you are giving us in this story, by the way.

I'm really curious to find out why Sam feels something around Nick, and since Dean and their Dad know her, I'm guessing she has an ability they may need in this hunt.

And, oh boy, that blue flame! They need to use some mojo on that sucker *g*.
Machaggis chapter 1 . 3/8/2007
Wow, this is really well written. What is that blue flame? Write more so I can find out :-)

The angst that both Sam and Dean are feeling is very think and adds a dark, heavy kind of ambiance to the story (Dean admitting he needs his father..WOW!).

Keep up the great work!
Ginger Ninja chapter 1 . 3/4/2007
Beautiful writing. Seriously. The emotions were amazing and then that last little scene with the fire was brilliant.

One for the favourites list :)

Keep up the great writing!

GN