|Reviews for Movements|
| Guest chapter 9 . 2/22/2011
This is really one of the best Nanoha gen fics, and is the fic thst got me hooked on Nanoha fanfic. Please start writing again! You're a great writer.
| AvalanchCXVII chapter 10 . 12/7/2010
Negima, FMA, and Nanoha all mixed up together, wow, what a ride.
Great story, sorta wish for a sequel but sorta don't, your writing is great but I kinda thinks this was a nice a place to leave it.
Geez, I guess there's never happy endings for Testarossa.
Great work here.
| Taeniaea chapter 10 . 5/8/2008
| CrimsonDX chapter 10 . 4/22/2008
HAH! im reviewing anyways. I can't wait, ive always wanted to see Arisa as more than just a side character and im interested to see how Gabriel has grown since the incident. Love the Zetsubou Sensei reference. I haven't seen the whole show but I loved what I saw.
| Person With Many Aliases chapter 10 . 4/22/2008
Ohh~. This might be interesting. Heh, couldn't let some things be quite finished, yeh? Well I'll check it out later.
(Naming Rights up for grabs...?)
| Wulfenbach chapter 9 . 3/16/2008
Well this fic didn't end how I wanted it too, but it was very good all the same. Enjoyed your OC, original and with lots of personality.
| Lestaki chapter 9 . 10/9/2007
A full length good story like this with 29 reviews? The world is mad. The world is madder than mad. The world is silly.
In any case, the story was very good, and had lots of my precious Fate-chan. Dual-wielding staves at the end stands as an epic moment of awesome. I must say, though, Gabriel came across as exceptionally talented indeed... however skilled he is, and for all his home ground advantage, it's peculiar that an alchemist should be able to outfight the two child aces of the Bureau, with military-level training and massive experience in tow. I can understand his luck in 1v1s, but when he's fighting like that against two or even three enemies at once it's peculiar. Regardless, the fight scenes were very good. The ending three-for-all with Dante, Gabriel and Fate was top-level stuff.
I liked Fate's character development and musings. She came across as very true to character, though that goes for the rest of the team as well. You also get mega props for including Arisa Suzuka/whatever, it isn't easy to integrate them. Of course, Arf was MIA. I can't remember whether you have a reason for that or not, but I sure missed her. She used to be such a great backup for Fate, now sadly forgotten here and in StrikerS alike.
Nanoha was in more of a supporting role for once, but that makes for a refreshing change. I also loved how her beam-spamming tactics were finally confounded. When I saw the first series, I wondered why Fate didn't use her hyper-speed to dodge... well, this is what magical combat looks like with more emphasis on manuverability and skill, not raw power. In short, it's an improvement on the series.
I found the various crossovers to be slightly bizzare. Dante worked, somewhat, as a supreme villain, though an original nemesis might have been more fun. But the Librarian in particular was rather random. It's not enough to break my enjoyment, though.
I loved how you gave us hints of every concievable pairing (including, strangely enough, what looked like FateXArisa) without ever going anywhere with it. Just like in the series! Good times... likewise with being true to the series, you followed the structure (innocent dragon, evil master) very well, and the comparisons between Fate and Gabriel were spot on. Really, they're as similar as interdimensional relatives should be on every level.
That's all, I suppose. Thanks for writing this awesome fanfic!
| Kibou no Hane chapter 6 . 10/3/2007
aren't u jacking too much plot from Fullmetal Alchemist?
ahaha no matter great story!
| The Ansem Man chapter 9 . 8/31/2007
Okay, I'm finished.
200% better coherency than the Negima fic. You weave a story with grace, and since you actually focused it this time it was brilliant. I lol'd at the random Negima/FMA reference/cameos and the cunning use of internet memes in a more subtle manner (Do you know... Oyashiro-sama?) I'm quite sad that I have yet to master the art of subtlety... even the less obvious things I do I wind up beating the reader over the head with...
I don't see any spelling mistakes, and words seemed to flow well. I do see a couple of things-Dante seemed underdeveloped and for history repeating itself (The plot seemed EXACTLY LIKE Nanoha and A's blended in together), not many of the characters noticed.
I kept expecting a reference to Negi Springfield directly _
I'm not sure how exactly a sequel would work, but the ability to brainstorm will be awesome. Mark my words, you've truly improved.
| The Ansem Man chapter 1 . 8/29/2007
What could possibly go wrong?
Everything. NOT AS PLANNED. OUR THE UH-OH. etc...
Working on this, true review when it's over!
| arkhangelsk chapter 1 . 8/17/2007
Mostly, the story was excellent, with a heavy mix of Full Metal Alchemist and a sprinkling of something else (especially the incantations), which is apparently Negima but I don't recognize those references because I don't watch Negima. Oh well...
The storyline is good, but Arisa and Suzuka seemed a bit forcefully and un-necessarily worked in rather than fully integral parts of the story. Nanoha loses her cool too easily IMO. While I understand the theory behind not including Hayate and the Wolkenritter, it seems a bit unrealistic not to start involving them and their combat power after Fate went missing.
Gabriel is a pretty cool fighter, and his tricks are mostly well thought out, though the test tube grenade thing is kind of ... uh, meh. He's throwing out those things hastily. How did he arrange the two intact test tubes to collide in midair hard enough to break and allow the two chemicals to mix together? Those things seem more likely to be his downfall as the test tubes are broken after he got knocked about.
Based on his apparent magic capacity, he seems to be doing a bit too well, but this is helped by our heroines routine failure to apply some decisive force - to be fair, this does seem to have a most canon backing as it turns out. The idea that magic can be set to "astral-only" is either ignored or unknown by the author and that prevents our heroines from using some real power attacks that will likely finish the battle and avoid a lot of pain and drama in a hit or two.
Another thought. Why did Fate not erect her own kekkai, since MGLN kekkai are that same general category that keeps everyone out. It is bad to fight in someone elses' kekkai and good to fight in your own. Such things do detract from the realism.
Anyway, small things aside it is pretty good.
| Shiakou chapter 9 . 8/14/2007
Oh Yuuno, you perverted yet gentlemanly ferret.
As for the rest, well done on a complete and well-written story. I'm curious about Edward, Gabriel, and Arisa's own story now that they're having their own adventure, but it's up to you if you want to continue.
In the last chapter you had Hayate and her knights appearing: it was both abrupt and not a little unlikely since Hayate doesn't even know who Precious is, and isn't likely to go all they way over to London for it. It might have been better for Fate and Suzuka to recite her epitaph by themselves: they're the only ones who actually knew her.
| CrimsonDX chapter 9 . 8/13/2007
That was a very interesting story. While FMA doesnt even rank on my list of favorite animes it was still pretty interesting and i love alchemy anyways. Negima is one of my favorite manga so those reference where pretty cool. The suspense was awesome, made me read faster trying to see what would happen next _. The omake chapter was hilarious. Though i don't know how I feel about Yuuno being portrayed as a pervert ;
If you ever add another nanoha fic up here ill be sure to read it.
| Person With Many Aliases chapter 9 . 8/13/2007
A good end. Nanoha lends itself surprisingly well to cross-overing. I didn't expect to see these sorts of people in this story, but not bad at all.
A satisfying ending that reminds you that the Adventure is far from over. I wish I could go on, purple-prosing on how gushfully I lurved your story and all that, but I'm not very good at that, so I'll simply add (That my name is V and it is my very good honor to meet you) that this story was excellent. I really ought to put up my own multi-chapter of my own.
Yeah, in the end, Gabe' has mostly cleaned up his act. Looks like he has a long way to go. Here's to him hopefully not doing a repeat of FMA. Goodness knows Ed was stupid enough not to take his teacher's advice...
Rambling now. Don't do a sequel. This stands strong on its own.
| Jimmy C chapter 7 . 7/29/2007
Slight mistake. Since this is post-A's, Nanoha should be using Axel Shooter instead of Divine Shooter.