|Reviews for The Annals of Darkness: The Beginning|
| Guest chapter 17 . 1/7
I had a feeling that sora would meet his dad
| Guest chapter 4 . 1/6
No! F#cking! Way!
| TehZach1993 chapter 1 . 12/30/2013
Lovely story! My only problem with these Annals of Darkness stories so far have been a few things.
1. The trio doesn't seem to be as innocent and pure hearted as they are in the manga and games. I can't remember them killing anyone except heartless, it kinda surprised me a bit when in a lot of these fanfictions by a lot of authors they kill people as well. I just can't see Sora, Kairi, or even Riku killing anyone.
2. Kairi's personality. She seems a bit out of control to me, but that may be just me. Like in the Council of Elrond scene where she blatantly shows off in front of everyone. Tbh I don't think a responsible keyblade wielder would do that. And if she is going to use her chosen weapon over someone calling her a name, maybe she isn't worthy of it.
3. The power level of the keyblade wielders. It seems to be like they've been made into gods. I kinda have issue with that. I like to see keyblade ass kicking as much as the next guy but Sora and his friends aren't gods.
Anyway as for the rest of it its a phenomenal story! Keep up the good work!
| BlueAbyssHax chapter 5 . 10/6/2013
Looking back. How do you feel that the way you explain for Axel coming back, is actually pretty much the truth now?
| Guest chapter 7 . 8/20/2013
This was an amazing chapter and I enjoyed every minute of reading it!
| Benjamin Ellimist chapter 4 . 8/21/2013
Radnom comment. I just had to say that becaude being condemed isn't really on my to do list. Spoiler, but that was Axel. Or Lea. Or whatever the heck he wants to be called now. Called it! Sorry, ranomd, not normally how I do things but i really didnt want to be condemed. Anyway, later bro!
| Guest chapter 5 . 8/19/2013
This is a really good story, well done!
| MofoBanana chapter 20 . 8/21/2013
NUUU y u no put Jesse Mccartney's songs TT
| The 666th necrophiliac chapter 40 . 7/27/2013
This one was defiantly an original. Defiantly stood out to me, there’s no question about that. I had mixed feelings about it, stemming from impressed to mildly irritated. Then again, all works are going to have parts the beholder will want to take or leave. First of all, I think I should start with a brief synopsis of the story.
We begin shortly after the events of Kingdom hearts 2. Sora and Riku have returned home, and are trying to fit back in to their regular lives. However, news soon arrives that Maleficent is still a threat, and King Mickey begins to train up our heroes. All is well until Maleficent attacks, forcing our heroes to separate and flee. In the attack, the Destiny islands are destroyed, and our hero’s families’ are murdered. This is defiantly a darker and edgier story than what some of the fandom may be used to. In the aftermath of this, King Mickey begins to put in motion plans to build an army to counter Maleficent, who has unlocked powers, the likes of which our heroes have never faced before. This takes up the rest of the story, our heroes hopping from world to world, fighting of Maleficent’s army of darkness, and all the while gathering friends and allies of their own.
Now, how does it stack up when one breaks it down? Well, let’s see.
Writing: 8 out of 10 (Excellent)
The writing of a piece can make or break it. Now, the writing of this, to be blunt, is fucking great. Especially for fan-fiction, which, let’s face it, doesn't have a very good record in this regard. Hell, with the level and skill that’s put into this, you wouldn't be surprised if the author done this for a living. That being said, it isn’t without its issues. Namely, the use of comers defiantly needs to be revised. Often, they’re missing when they should be used.
Structure: 7 out of 10 (Great)
The whole “go to world. Fight Heartless. Beat bad Guy. Fuck off” structure isn’t exactly original, yet Shire folk makes it original. Even though it’s still there, we aren’t given the problem of isolation from the rest of the story, a fault of which I myself am guilty. The overarching story keeps going, and each world visited adds to the overall story. However, the world at the end does drag on for a bit without adding too much as it goes that couldn’t have been done elsewhere. It was probably the slowest and weakest part of the work, and was what brought this score down.
Action: 9 out of 10 (Outstanding)
Overall, this is an action story, and so, naturally, the action needs to be both interesting and gripping. Does this get that? Put simply, yes, and then some. The action scenes are both thrilling and long. Sometimes too long. Occasionally, I found myself losing interest because of how long they dragged on for. That would be my complaint, yet aside from that, they really are magnificent. But, action isn’t all this has going for it, which brings me to…
Romance: 4 out of 10 (Mediocre)
For a work that’s labelled Romance, it isn’t really all that romantic. The relationship is established, and then… not much else. There’s a bit of fluff here and there, but we don’t really see the relationships progress too much. It wasn’t nearly prominent enough to justify it even being labelled romance. Now, this is an issue that plagues a lot of works similar to this. What people need to understand is that just because something has romance in it, that doesn’t make the story a romance. I mean, nearly any work has at least one romantic relationship, but if it isn’t prominent to the story, then it isn’t a romance. This is lucky, seeing as I don’t really think it was handled that well, as I mentioned before. Had I accepted it as a romance, chances are that it would have received a 3 (poor) or even a 2 (terrible.)
Plot: 6 out of 10 (Good)
As I mentioned before, the plot isn’t that original on paper, yet Shire Folk makes it original, though that doesn’t mean that it’s perfect. The main tension comes from two sources. Maleficent taking over the world to… um. To…uh. Take over the world? Maybe I’m biased since I never really liked Maleficent as a villain to begin with, but the whole “I’m evil” motivation never got me. They’re kind of a bore which naturally affects how the reader views their influence on the story. The other tension is of course, the prophecy. Now, the prophecy more or less says that a knight pure of heart will marry a princess of heart and have a kid who is pure of heart who will kill Maleficent, and naturally, more or less everyone assumes it to be Kairi. This, understandably, leads to no small amount of angst on Sora and Kairi’s part… and everyone else on the side of goodie-goodness. Why they naturally assume it to be Kairi, however, when the prophecy specifically said seventh princess, and thus refer to either Alice or any of them, is brought up by one or two characters, but I won’t go into that too much.
But, I can go one way or the other when it comes to the plot. What really matters to me is…
The good: 4 out of 10 (Mediocre) Now, we all know about the characters right, and in this, they’re more or less the same, except for Riku and Roxas, who are a little too upbeat compared to their cannon selves. Sora is a little less upbeat because of the whole “family dead and whole home destroyed” thing. Other than that, nothing ground-breaking is really done with them. No deconstruction of the effects of constant fighting and adventuring, or anything else along those lines.
The bad: 4 out of 10 (Mediocre) A good villain can make a story. Unfortunately, there aren’t many to choose from here that are really that interesting. All of them are, more or less, pretty two dimensional, except one, but they abandon pretty early on, which seems to acquit her sins in Sora’s eyes, then again, he was always too forgiving for his own good.
The um … uh … the others. (Yeah! Sweet save, me!) 6 out of 10 (Above-par) interestingly, the supporting cast was actually pretty well done, which isn’t something you often see that much. They all have unique personalities and have enough screen time for us to really get to know them. The level of their depth varies, though overall, they were an excellent addition to the piece.
Overall, characters score 5 out of 10 (Above par)
Other: 5 out of 10 (above-par)
The drama wasn’t exactly big, but it was there. I could empathies with the protagonists’ point of view, even if I didn’t agree with the problems or how they were going about resolving them. The humour, however, was a different case all together. Here’s an example “I thought we were going to make shrinkidinks. EVIL SHRINKIDINKS” I bashed my head against the keyboard at that one. The one in question does NOT MAKING MOTHERFUCKING SHINKIDINKS! HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE HANDS! Other humour wasn’t much better, and seemed really out of place, creating extreme mood-swings which really brought the story down.
Over all, I had mixed reaction to the bits and pieces, but overall, I’d say it deserves a good old score of…
Final score: 6 out of 10. (Good)
It’s a good and solid piece of fan-fiction, defiantly one of the better works on the site, but not without its problems that severely damaged the final score. Overall though, the good won over the bad, and it is well worth a look at. As the first part of a series, I’d say Shire Folk is well on the right track. I hope he keeps up the good work.
| The 666th necrophiliac chapter 39 . 7/26/2013
Probably have been less predictable on Hades' part to simply come up with an alias. I mean, Char doesn't call himself Rahc in Zeta. That's Nit picky though.
The digimon bit is starting to drag on.
Wait, if he got a scar in training. That means... That...Means... HOLY FUCKING CRAP! Live combat training! I bloody hope that wasn't the same simulation the the first timers was back at the start.
Almost done! My big review is coming!
| The 666th necrophiliac chapter 37 . 7/24/2013
Axel you Hypocrite, like you've never ran from an enemy.
No fatalities. Wow Richard Nixon, you couldn't even take out a couple Militia? Maleficent's gonna be PISSED. BTW, I'm starting to miss mind-rape bitch.
| The 666th necrophiliac chapter 31 . 7/21/2013
Geeze. Is it just me, or is every other guy in the universe a f#%king rapist.
| The 666th necrophiliac chapter 25 . 7/21/2013
Not bad. Not bad at all.
I don't have any opinion on this prophecy just yet. Where did it come from? Why now? Who made it? To whom does it refer? And this knight pure of heart. Where could he come from? Only the princess' are born as such, thus he must be MADE pure of heart, but how? These are the questions that they should be asking.
Anyway, that's it for me right now.
| The 666th necrophiliac chapter 33 . 7/21/2013
I don't think Starscream would really want to avenge Megatron. After all, he Is Starscream.
| Akila E. Ferrari chapter 40 . 6/19/2013
Kya!? I..don't know how to say this...you're GENIUS! this is AWESOME! I never read a cool story like this! Oh, oh can I Favorite this!? Can I? Can I? (Okay then)
Michan: He didn't answer yet you moron!
Haru: Eh? So?