|Reviews for Phantom of Corruption|
| ivanganev1992 chapter 7 . 3/19
There was a accident contamination with ghost Plasma with living tissue.
The result is unpredictable. Making the object Ghost,Halfa,Spirit warrior,straightening,or HALFA.
Tyber became a target. He contaminated himself with ghost plasma or Halfa DNA sample of human part with less Ghost Dna but enough to make him another Halfa .
He was white haired, now he is the opposite color. Black hair.
And what is next?
| Totalfangirl01 chapter 7 . 12/22/2014
And...Tyber became half-ghost, right?
I'm sure that just means more problems for Danny and his friends and Han and Chewbacca...
Anyway...AWESOME STORY! I LOVED IT! :3
| DPchick chapter 7 . 9/12/2011
this story is great! i am a big star wars and danny phantom fan! keep up the good work!
| Unbidden-Angel chapter 1 . 7/5/2008
I really liked this.
| Lightning Streak chapter 1 . 4/8/2007
Personally, when I read your summary, a part of me wasn't quite sure to expect. However, I clicked on the link anyway and got a fairly decent surprise.
You've got a good story coming along! :) I wish I had read your story sooner!
Of course, I DO have a few little pieces of advice for you:
I believe you spell Skulker without the 'c'. Otherwise, I think his name looks a little awkward.
And also, I believe you could further your writing ability by adding in some more descriptive words. Your conversations seem real enough and are fun to read, but the way they are described seems to take away from the action. I noticed you used the word "Said" a lot in order to tell who was talking. I think if you just varied your words a bit, you'd get a more vivid picture.
So, here's a list of words you can use instead of the word "said" :
Of course, these aren't just the only words you could use, but they are a few off the top of my head. Plug in a few of these words instead of "said" and I think you'll be surprised in the difference it makes.
Also, your summary that you used: "Danny is fighting his usual battle with Skulcker and Technus. But what Danny certainly doesn't know is that he is going to turn into a pawn for the Zann Consortium."
I personally don't have a problem with it, but I think it would be kind of confusing for other people to read. I mean, most people won't know what Zann Consortium is without making an effort to find out. (Unfortunately, this type of summary can sometimes scare people away from reading your story, since they don't know what you're talking about.)
Please don't take this in offense, but howabout you try changing your actual summary? You could actually attract more readers if you put something they can relate to, or that will catch their attention.
Here's just a little sample of what I'm talking about. How about something like this?
"Danny is fighting his usual battles between Skulker and Technus. But what he doesn't know is that he's slowly being transformed into a pawn for an unknown race of people: the Zann Consortium."
It provides a little more information, but still sticks to your basic summary already.
I dunno, I'm just trying to help you. You don't have to take my ideas if you don't want to, but I thought I'd at least give 'em to you. :)
In any case, I'm really enjoying your story. It's new, it's different, and I like how the first chapter introduced everything. Great job, and I can't wait to read more! :)