Reviews for Perfect
Music-is-me chapter 10 . 1/22/2008
Yay Continue !

X
Tinuel chapter 10 . 6/18/2007
Hehe, Layla n Warren. Even if it isnt meant to be in this fic, I love that pairing. Its my fav of all :-p It just is! Nobody can deny the perfect chemistry that stupid Disney decided to ignore.

I'm looking forward to more! Get t' writing!

- Tinuel

By the way. The lucky numbers stated in the film are 4, 16, 5, and 49. I know - I wrote it down cause I needed that scene for a S.H fic i'm writing :-p

Plus, theres another fic that puts meaning behind the numbers. I think its 'Happened at the Lantern', but im not 100% sure. All I DO know, is its 4, 16, 5 and 49...not 19, 48, 5, 23 and 7. lol
Tinuel chapter 6 . 6/18/2007
I'm still loving your story, and the developing relations with the characters. But I have one issue to point out. (lol)

The actual issue writing wise? The journal entries. For soo many reasons. Mostly being these arent diary entries at ALL. You've formatted them as if they were flashbacks for a 1st person POV. Nobody writes "I said while doing this". This is in her diary. She'd remember the gist of the day, and jot whats important.

"Whats Lash's power?" She asked - should actually be nothing except "They asked about Lash's power."

Technically, we shouldn't have a diary at all because its written in 3rd person. So whom is reading this diary, then? But I let it go cause they're informative. But even so, they're not written as diary entries. Instead, it feels like flashbacks that you're using an excuse to get into 1st person. And thats just..icky.

I do love your story! And I still very much enjoy Sam . You bring a lot out of her, and keep the characters all very lifelike.

Time to read on! .

- Tinuel
bunnykitune chapter 10 . 6/5/2007
but zach has a nickname most boys with the name zach/zack/zac have. XP
Redgirl44 chapter 10 . 3/27/2007
XD The super hero names part just cracked me up! I can imagine why she wouldn't like Karaoke Kid for a name... Who would? Keep up the great work!
PyroGurl313 chapter 10 . 3/27/2007
great chapter. i like Night Blaze for Warren it really describes his personality. anyway please update soon
Marshmalu chapter 9 . 3/25/2007
eak i can'twait for the next chappie...you're probably thinking that i must have no life if i'm reading fanfictions at 10:49 at night while im supposed to be doing my hw...well anyway update soon...i'll be waiting!
CardbordRain chapter 9 . 3/25/2007
EI!

PLEASE UPDATE SOON

I LOVE IT
Tigger101 chapter 6 . 3/20/2007
This story has a lot of potential, but I'm not really sure where the "bollocks" thing came from. No-one says that in England anymore... they have pretty strong accents, but everything else is the same. I don't know, I just thought you were pushing it with the whole "English" thing. Everything else is pretty cool tho - I love the interaction between everyone - and that Sam's really laidback and relaxed and GIRLY! This is such a refreshing change after all the WarrenOCs where the girls are really burdened and act so sombre and moody...

Tigger101
PyroGurl313 chapter 6 . 3/20/2007
I love ur story its so funny. please update soon
Jess Readin chapter 5 . 3/18/2007
Ooh, drama. First, I would like to squee at the Buffy mentions. Rupert Giles *giggle*

Second, loving the story, keep up the good work.
Marshmalu chapter 4 . 3/17/2007
I love this story! please update soon! hm...i think you should have her with Lash...
Tinuel chapter 1 . 3/16/2007
I like Sam for the reason of her being very lifelike and logical. You've yet to express her powers, and that can be good on the logic of you aren't building this around those alone - and you're able to focus on Sam (and the potential relationship between her and Warren).

Still..there are a FEW things to consider for editing :)

One, you don't have a solid point of view in this chapter. It begins within 3rd person, half informative and half visuals with "Sam thought" It slowly began to drift to sounding like there was a narrator by "And we know" Then by the middle of this chapter, it wavered towards 1st person..where there is "I"..and yet I have NO idea who is telling us this story. You're basically telling us this within a completely omniscient view.

Refocus yourself..try to express things in one solid point of view, and keep yourself there. If need be, you've already gone into Sam's head in the beginning..you can stay there.

~Tinuel
LovelyPriestess chapter 1 . 3/11/2007
I like your story a lot. It was quite 'unique' in my opinion. I thought Sam was very well developed and realistic. And she's so... 'normal', I guess - her friends and her talking and all. It's just regular talk that makes me like her a lot!

Anyway, I hope you update soon! :D