|Reviews for Lost soul|
| TaskRabbit chapter 93 . 11/19/2017
I mean, personally I thought that there must have been 'bathroom breaks' or something over the extraction process. Regarding chakra exhaustion, I figured that the reason they used so many people at once was to lower the effective chakra draw on each individual. All Akatsuki are known to have greater than average capacities. Between coming prepared with 5 Hour Energy (chakra pills), bathroom breaks or shifts, and distributing the load across multiple exceptional individuals, I didn't find the Canon extraction time to be unbelievable at all.
Your explanation is a sensible interpretation too, though, and very interesting since I don't think I've ever seen someone really challenge the time frame before.
| jon reeve chapter 19 . 11/18/2017
/You guys need to realize that the Naruto world is filled with "prodigies." Kakashi was a badass tween. Itachi was a badass 6-year-old. The OP Narutos of fanfiction fit right in with the canon. They're plausible as shit because many of the thing these "Gary Stus" do have actually been done by someone in the show. This Naruto is fairly mild by comparison.
| jon reeve chapter 13 . 11/18/2017
/Choppy story start, but the end of this chapter is beautiful.
| TaskRabbit chapter 74 . 11/17/2017
While amateur, this story is seriously impressive. Tons of imagination, storyboarding, and characterization are evident. It's very much unlike any other Naruto fanfic out there.
But jeez, this Zhuge guy is perhaps one of the worst characters I've ever encountered in a story with proper grammar. You went with the Mastermind archetype, but the problem with writing characters smarter than yourself is that their narrative power can easily exceed the bounds of what's healthy for a story. He had a strong start, but quickly became an incredibly stale, washed out excuse for artificially strangling the pace of the narrative. Aside from one or two awkwardly forced moments where he was outplayed, his contributions to the story have been to perfectly predict everything ever in an incredibly uninteresting and predictable routine, and to set up horribly contrived yet somehow near infallible plots. The most interesting thing to happen with him in a while was how he messed up with Akino but, wait, no, he planned for that too. Perhaps the only perspective shifts I dislike more than his are the ones where we visit the Konoha refugees in Suna, since they are legitimately entirely irrelevant to advancing the plot in any way. Trimming the fat and killing your babies is an important piece of advice in any creative discipline, and there's some serious fat in need of trimming.
On that note, this entire story could've been significantly more focused in a positive way without the inclusion of the Akino sub plot. It's inventive and original for sure, but it ultimately detracts from the story. With her scenes especially I get the vibe that you don't know what story you really want to tellthe story of Naruto or the story of two estranged siblings, or the story of Akino. You try to tell all three (plus a few others) at the same time, and the result is that none of the stories are effectively told.
And honestly the funny thing about this review is that I know this story is positively ancient and that you have since drastically improved as a writer, with well told narratives such as Outcry. I just was getting so frustrated by the errors I spotted that I felt I had to really get it into words, and put on paper.
| Guest chapter 117 . 11/13/2017
amazing story loved it thank you for writing this
| Hmason chapter 117 . 11/4/2017
truly an amazing story the best i've read wished you'd included naruto's final words to temari but seriously a fantastic gripping tale, a little torn between the ending i mean it worked out beautifully but there's still a part of me that wished that naruto would have stopped and called for peace but this ending just makes more sense and i love i truly love the way the characters evolved and developed
| digheads chapter 117 . 10/30/2017
Thank you for the wonderful read. I know this is a good one 'cause after the Epilogue it leaves you asking, will they truly pull it off? Will they succeed? and any story that sparks your imagination like that is a grade A story in my book! thank you once again and have an awesome day!
| Guest chapter 30 . 10/22/2017
This is boring, predictable and full of shit. Kill yourself.
| XxFrenzyFirexX chapter 40 . 10/13/2017
This is one of the best stories I've read in a while. Thank you for making it
| Marvelous Pathetic chapter 13 . 10/10/2017
OMG! He just pull Itachi in the council!
| Bosspatywafless chapter 117 . 10/2/2017
3rd time reading, and again I’m amazed
| brutusjr chapter 97 . 9/22/2017
Your fight scenes go one "way" too long.
Good story otherwise...
| Son Of Oblivion 7 chapter 30 . 9/10/2017
It was good until the whole Akina bullshit. I never flame but fucking seriously? She was a genin had no training after naruto beat her ass went to Tsunade and was able to keep up with a Jonin? Shizune I could let slide but Akina fuck no. Also how did the seal even open!? Kurama can not freely seperate his consciousness from his host. Even if I ignored all of the Kurama seal stuff. You're telling me everyone jist overlooked her as the other jinchuriki that had a seal on her stomach and was right beside Naruto and his dead parents? Even if you try and say Hiruzen hid her. Question comes up why didn't they do the same for Naruto. It's obvious you threw her in on a whim because you needed a way to challenge Naruto in a sense but it was so overwhelmingly disappointing. Your telling me all the intense training he went through(was forced to do to become a weapon) they never realized he literally couldn't transform into his bijuu like I don't know Yugito and Killer Bee! Even if he couldn't do it because Kurama was being stubborn like in Cannon they'd still have noticed a lack of chakra on that scale. He's essentially the five tailed bijuu. It was wonderful at first but that entire chapter killed it. One last thing Akina getting spared during the whole Konoha civil war bit was also bullshit because he had no reason to and spared absolutely nobody else. If anything you built this story to ride on the fact Naruto is insanely intelligent and he wouldn't have let anyone walk away from there if he had no reason to. With Gaara he was confused and had to save Hiruzon. But there he just did it because why the fuck not. Chapter 29 marked the death of this fanfic to be honest with you. If others like it great I don't mind that. If you like it good job man it's your creation go crazy. But realistically this fanfiction has some big fucking plot holes.
| Banshee-024 chapter 13 . 9/8/2017
woah... the council... I love you op
| JlovesGaara chapter 12 . 9/3/2017
Wow. I hope Naruto takes the Third's last mission to heart.