|Reviews for Van Helsing 2 My Version|
| NoodlesInWonder chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
Hey this is so cool! I love it! Aw poor hugh is still cursed, cant wait to read more! _
| toto3 chapter 19 . 7/30/2007
Hey there... hm... not sure how to tell you this but this is sort of talking down to your readers.
STOP WRITING the name of each person that is to speak. this sounds like a Dick and Jane book. Readers that want a good 'read' don't like to be led around with a ring in their nose... they can figure it out who is talking ... if you would let them...
This is hard to read... It doesn't flow because each person's first name at the begining of each sentence is hard to read around. It sure breaks my concentration.
If you DO have a good story here... I have already lost interest in following it because of all of the extra words in each line.
The paragraphs are WAY too short. Put some feeling into it, as if someone is really trying to carry on a conversation.
Sorry this doesn't do it for me.
Take this as a positive initiative and put it into perspective.
| Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 18 . 6/19/2007
aw...I wanna horsie
| Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 17 . 6/15/2007
| HughJackmanFan chapter 15 . 5/15/2007
really next chapter I read. finally you are back!
| Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 16 . 5/11/2007
Wait did Draccie die? NO! lol
| liz chapter 1 . 5/10/2007
Are you fucking serious?
Take this shit down.
We don't need anymore stories like this clogging up the site.
| Dysthymia chapter 14 . 4/10/2007
You've done well, Jackie.
| Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 14 . 3/30/2007
aw I love the name, it's adorable
| HughJackmanFan chapter 14 . 3/30/2007
tell me, isn't they vampire? Gabriel is normal human, or?
aw cute and next, next! NO Vlad stay in the dungeon, kill kill...
| Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 13 . 3/27/2007
| HughJackmanFan chapter 13 . 3/26/2007
not again werwolves and new curse! find go! third times then boy will stop to death...
they are all cursed?
| Red And Gold Dragon chapter 12 . 3/24/2007
Look, the former rosyrose is not a flamer, she only said the things that she said in her reviews because she was upset about Flame Rising flaming the stories that she worked so hard on. I've communicated with her, and she is sorry. When she saw you pen name on Flame Rising's profile, she automatically saw you as another flamer. She knows better now. So, just try to forgive her, she didn't mean it.
On to your writing. This is better than your other stories. You have improved. I did notice, however that all of your main female characters are names Jackie and Amy. Do you think that that might be part of why Flame Rising won't leave you alone. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm only asking.
You could go to Dysthymia's forum and complain about Flame Rising all you want. She won't mind. You can make a list of the ones who have flamed you, except rosyrose, because that, in all technicalities was not a flame. That was just anger leaking through. She did try to give you a few suggestions.
Have a nice day and please consider what I've said.
| Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 1 . 3/23/2007
aw...oh well, he's still cursed who cares...lol
| HughJackmanFan chapter 12 . 3/23/2007
CARL, help to Gabriel and save the children if ANTI-vampries! cure, find cure...Carl be strong!