|Reviews for The Unicorn Prince|
| drippy123 chapter 2 . 3/29/2007
Not too bad, but, one thing your beta may not tell you: you've got too many single line "paragraphs". You're separating relating ideas instead of making strong paragraphs. Look at it yourself, and you'll see that many of the single lines could be made into strong descriptive paragraphs.
| Vicantis chapter 2 . 3/29/2007
oh you are evil... oh well i shouldn't complain because i do the same with my stories, ending with cliffies. anyway, poor harry, he doesn't know what to do. please keep writing this is really good.
| ninjagirl16 chapter 1 . 3/29/2007
I love it but i can only see chapter1
| Kfor Kesha chapter 1 . 3/29/2007
Yo no the Chap 2 in't showin, righ?
| CatWriter chapter 1 . 3/29/2007
nice story, i would like to read more. Uh.. do you know that chapter 2 is gone? I'm looking at chapter 1 but there is no chapter 2. update soon.
| Niji-neko chapter 2 . 3/28/2007
Well that was positively evil!
How could you leave us hanging from there! T.T
Say you talk about his markings and how exotic he is , but is his bone structure 'delicate' or strong.? Is Ron going to faint? or will he be struck dumb by Harrys beauty XD.
| Kindali Sidera chapter 2 . 3/28/2007
This story is awesome. And a guess at what's going to happen: Seamus wasn't just tired, he couldn't see the horn and no one else can either...? Just a thought. Well, please update soon! I really want to find out if people actually can see it and what their reactions would be!
| fifespice chapter 2 . 3/28/2007
ooh poor harrygot himslef all worke d up hasnt he what will ron say and yeah pls updaets oon
| Endless C chapter 2 . 3/28/2007
This is great you should keep going! Don't worry about not spelling right you are not alone and it does not take from the story.
| death by storm chapter 2 . 3/28/2007
gyaah! that was evil. Please update soon.
| Vipervail chapter 1 . 3/28/2007
Wow. Loving it. Its different from all others I have read.
| KaylaisEvenstar chapter 2 . 3/28/2007
/groans/ Why are evil cliffhangers of doom so popular?... -.-;
But anyway _ Great story,love the unicorn idea... I don't believe that one has ever been used before. XD
Oh, and I don't think your spelling is horrible, I didn't notice a single misspelled word...And I've seen far, far worse grammar.
All in all, I can't find a single thing to be constructively criti..cistic?...(is that even a word?) about. Well, ok, give me a minute.../re-reads/
Alright, found one thing, which really isn't even that bad. There's a bit too much space in between lines sometimes. Well, I personally wouldn't really even say it's too much, as it does make it easy to read that way.
Just, strictly speaking, the more correct way is to have... Hm... what was it my english teacher used to say...Something about having at least three, preferably four sentances/lines to a paragraph that isn't dialogue, and ending it after the... subject? of the paragraph is ended. Or something like that. /shrugs/ Hey, you asked... This was the best I could come up with o.O
Well, hope I helped... in some small way... _ /Throws one last "love the fic" at you and goes away/
| Yana5 chapter 2 . 3/28/2007
lol please will the next chapter be out soon
i want to see what Ron does
| ancient-relic chapter 2 . 3/28/2007
I looked over the chapter, and I really didn't find anything that was wrong with it...
I still think that the idea of unicorns are a little strange, but then again, that's something that gives you an edge. The strangeness of the whole idea though might throw some people off, so you have to be sure to keep them interested... keep them hooked.
Not to say that this isn't interesting... it's just something to be aware of. I've seen stories with intersting ideas, but crap writing, or things like that. So I suppose it's a friendly hint... you know.
Keep up the great work, though, and post again soon. Can't wait to read more!
| Drahme chapter 1 . 3/28/2007
Yay! A plot I haven't read yet. O... Update! Update!