|Reviews for The Purple Potion|
| Buffy66 chapter 70 . 1/12
Thanks for the wonderful story.
| s-david-m chapter 70 . 12/7/2015
This was a good story, and fairly well written, with some very good plot twists. Kudos! Now for the nitpicks and suggestions.
Your Hermione feels a bit off. Her personality isn't as forceful and direct as I would expect. You could chalk it up to the central emotional trauma, or perhaps maturity, but I'm not sure that's enough to change such an ingrained personality trait. As a result, the angst felt a little manufactured at times. I don't think she would react this way to the events that set this story in motion. This eventually necessitated the ghostly intervention to bring them together, which just made everything more unnecessarily complicated.
The story structure is poor at the beginning. The time jumps and in-chapter review of past events makes for confusing reading (but still better than most fics). The story would have been much more compelling if written in a linear fashion. I understand you were kind of winging it as you wrote, so there's not much you can do about that unless you already have a detailed outline of the story.
Also we don't have any idea where this AU branched with respect to canon. It seems HBP, but I don't think you ever explicitly said it, and we have no idea where the characters we know about ended up, or how the final battle went. The full details aren't pertinent to this story, but the character arcs are. For instance, knowing Neville didn't rise to hero status is important here. These details are important because otherwise readers can't understand and judge how clearly the characters are thinking. Introducing it piecemeal as the story goes makes this more challenging.
As for the writing, it was quite decent overall. Some sporadic typos, some incorrect words here and there, but not frequent enough to be distracting. The main distraction was an inappropriate lack of commas on some sentences (or a misplaced comma sometimes). The meaning of some sentences came out a little jumbled without them, and those took a few readings to clarify.
Thanks for a very enjoyable mystery overall!
| s-david-m chapter 67 . 12/6/2015
I disagree entirely with Hermione's reasoning that nothing good can come from evil that someone else perpetrated. A perfect analogue to the scenario in this chapter are the abhorrent medical experiments the Nazis conducted on their prisoners. It yielded medical knowledge that has since been used to save many lives. While that end doesn't justify the experiments in the first place, it would be absurd to simply throw out that knowledge.
| s-david-m chapter 50 . 12/5/2015
I expected Ron or Hermione to ask Ron how he found out about Harry being Roy, particularly when he again mentioned knowing. But, given this whole story has taken place over what seems less than 24 hours so far, perhaps they're not at their best. Interesting that Ron didn't recognise Floyd's description though.
| s-david-m chapter 48 . 12/5/2015
I think Andy's personality changed a bit too much in this chapter.
| s-david-m chapter 42 . 12/5/2015
Hermione's objection doesn't entirely make sense. If the final conversation with Harry is too painful for her, she can always have it obliviated. Harry would have said his piece, and she could have her separation if that's what she still wanted. Perhaps a little drastic, but clearly her current strategies aren't working.
| s-david-m chapter 35 . 12/5/2015
I'm surprised at Hermione's argument here. She would know that entirely suppressing access to wanted goods simply creates a black market for them, which empowers organised crime and further oppresses the disadvantaged that she's championing. Even if the potion doesn't work for everyone, the fact that it's possible in principle will spur research to address any limitations, and having it available widely will bring down the price so it's affordable to everyone. The examples of this in history are numerous.
| s-david-m chapter 27 . 12/5/2015
I have mixed feelings about the closing of this chapter. It seems to be manufacturing drama just to prolong the angst. I don't see why Harry telling her would make a difference if he's hoping she breaks it off with him anyway. It's not like Ron would know it was him immediately.
| s-david-m chapter 23 . 12/4/2015
A hard conversation. But as soon as she said Ron's dead, I think Harry would have mentioned that Ron's now a ghost. That seems like a rather pressing matter, and if nothing else, Harry looks after his friends.
| s-david-m chapter 12 . 12/4/2015
Too bad you're so anti-D/Hr. I'm not usually a fan either, but you've made him quite sympathetic so far. The Bella twist sounds interesting though.
Andy sounds interesting as a partner for Harry. I could totally see an outcome where Hermione and Harry go their separate ways permanently.
The Ron twist is intriguing too. Looking forward to the rest.
| Scabbers1957 chapter 70 . 11/22/2015
Just to let you know, this was a bloody epic story, one of the best I've ever read. I'll be adding you and this gem to my favorites. * Tips imaginary hat* very well done.
| rednaxela12 chapter 30 . 8/30/2015
love the characters to death,
have a desire to shake that pair of obtuse obstinate stubborn, bull headed, miscommunication prone, fools by the necks until they actually are honest with each other.
rather wonderful story on the whole.
| InLoveWithDraco13 chapter 58 . 6/6/2015
You brilliant, brilliant mind. LOVE the author's note here...you are quite the devil, hmmm? This story is incredible. You are an extremely gifted writer...I've spent my whole Saturday on this story, it's been immensely enjoyable. Thank you for your genius, friend. xx M
| Ashley chapter 69 . 4/9/2015
This story was absolutely brilliant. Bravo.
| MeowDamnation chapter 15 . 3/10/2015