Reviews for A Serpent's Sacrifice
peggy77 chapter 7 . 8/7/2020
That was an excellent scene! Very tense and actually pretty realistic. You wrote it well, I could 'see' everything happening. It is a bit worrying that Harry had such a hard time overcoming it but as the prophecy says, 'equals' so it should be very challenging.

Hopefully Harry gained a little more power or protection of some kind from his parents graves. Just enough to give him a slight advantage.
peggy77 chapter 6 . 8/7/2020
Wow! I'm very impressed that you figured out what was in his scar even though that had not yet been revealed.

A lot of this feels... familiar. I wonder if I found it while you were still in the process of writing it and read some of it. If I did, it's been long enough that even though things feel like dejavu, I am not actually able to remember what will happen next.
peggy77 chapter 4 . 8/7/2020
'Don't they know they should let sleeping dogs l...'

I think you forgot to finish that sentence. I know, of course, that it should say 'lie' but am unsure if you intended more after or not.

I have wondered before why no one ever thought to make a house elf their secret keeper. I've also wondered why either James had not become the secret keeper or why they had not made Sirius the secret keeper but then just had him live there with them. Neither James nor Sirius NEEDED to work.
peggy77 chapter 3 . 8/7/2020
Ok, before finishing this chapter I just want to say a couple things:

1. It's apparent you wrote this before reading the final book. I find that to be a good thing though as, honestly, that book was a bit of a let-down;

2. I appreciate what you had Dumbledore say about Harry's power. I have read the theory a bunch of times that if a fanfiction author wants to make Harry very powerful then they also need to make Voldemort more powerful.
To me, that is wrong as it completely ignores the part of the prophecy where it says that Voldemort and Harry are equals.

Well, even after finishing the chapter I can't think of anything more to say right now. Other than wondering how you are going to figure out a way to make Snape 'be on Harry's side' since you make it sound like Dumbledore was not dying when Snape killed him.
peggy77 chapter 2 . 8/7/2020
'At least Voldemort made no pretense of his intentions and his evil nature.'

That is EXACTLY why I actually dislike Umbridge more than Voldemort.
zanpackto chapter 45 . 6/30/2020
i love the the fact the plot could surprise me. hope u continue ur work.
mumphie chapter 45 . 6/23/2020
I enjoyed your tale. I'd like to know what Harry decided to do with his life. Curse breaker, lawyer, lawmaker? Or what Hermione did. Hopefully they had a bunch of kids and a good life.
greenking13 chapter 45 . 6/16/2020
Let's get the big thing out of the way first. I liked this story, really really liked it. Great job.

Now onto the more specific things.

First off, the title itself never made sense to me, it felt like it had no correlation to the story itself, until you revealed Issamir, at which point I became a little sad since I had assumed he would die at some point and it would be a tipping point for the war. Nope, left field Grandma Snek. Her death feels similar to Dumbledore's in a way. The elderly sacrificing themselves so the young can live.

Which segues me onto another point. Dumbledore. I won't lie, I was not, and kind of am not a fan of how you "revived" Dumbledore. Not that I am not quite glad to see a more fleshed out relation between Albus and Harry, but a magical phoenix swap that nobody noticed the fire effect? But still, whatever. Albus taught Harry a lot about life and some about magic, which is exactly what he needed to learn.

Bad Snape. I don't know how to feel I'm more ambivalent either way. Either Snape is a repentant man who can't see Harry from Jame's shadow, a double/triple spy, (Not sure which it would be. Where he's Voldemort's man through and through.) or he's a man who decides to help Harry for differing reasons. (Reminds him of Lily more, Harry ends up in Slytherin, discovers Harry's being abused, you know the tropes.) In your story he served little more than a footnote, which is honestly a lot less than I was expecting.

Ginny's sacrifice. I don't even want to touch this with a 10 foot pole because damn. I honestly can't decide whether that was a masterful stroke of reinforcing that love conquers all or a admittedly fucked up simple way to get rid of her, Voldemort's spirit, and allow Hermione to be with Harry in the end. Which I have to say, while this story had obvious leanings toward Harry/Hermione, I was actually starting to second guess myself when Hermione/Ron and Harry/Ginny started becoming an increasing point.

I could go on to discuss more point, but I feel the need to end it there and reiterated that I thoroughly enjoyed the story, although I'm quite disheartened that I didn't discover this story because of a redditor recommending it, or it being massively popular, but rather because I stumbled upon a random person who favorited the story, but I'm glad I did stumble upon it. I'll likely start reading your other story some time tomorrow, but for now, I hope you're doing great.
-Green
RightnWrong chapter 45 . 6/1/2020
I am sorry I haven’t reviewed chapter by chapter, I always forget to do that.

I very much liked your story: I thought the plot and the adventure was top notch as was the characterization. Kudos for such feats as managing to stay close to Ron’s character (behaving like a git) without turning him into a full git. When you add good writing to that mix, It really was a pleasure to read.

If you care about constructive criticism, I think Ron and Hermione should have done more to help. It would have been particularly nice if Ron got a chance to shine. Ginny could have been inserted into the conflict even if she’d been useless in a pitched battle against death eaters not fighting with strict orders to not kill Harry Potter (ie with kid gloves on)

The reason for this is that their sacrifice and struggle should be more than ‘some emotional support’ imho. Instead you usurped Hermiones role with Dumbledore doing a cameo, and failed to use Ron on the few places were tactical acumen could be worth something (castle invasion: for example, observe troop movements while flying over the castle disillusioned, have Ron realize the dementors are hunting hurry and purposely lead them away, etc. Still don’t get my wrong, I LOVED the Dumbledore scenes.

overall, this is a fairly small issue in general, and did not detract much if any from my enjoyment of your great story.

Thanks a lot for writing it! (Almost made me reactvate my ff account, just to follow you, heh)
Mikee chapter 45 . 4/29/2020
Wow! What a story. I loved it … even though you made me cry a few times, and I mean CRY. I'm not easily impressed, but I am impressed by this story. I love that it is unique, and I loved how you portrayed all the characters. Well done indeed, and thank you for sharing it.
Anne chapter 45 . 4/26/2020
This was spectacular. Thank you.
Anne chapter 33 . 4/25/2020
This has been such an excellent story. Not sure if you still check reviews or not, but I wanted to thank you for sharing it with us.
MrsFH chapter 45 . 4/11/2020
Excellent story - very well told. I enjoyed it very much.
BloodOfTheCovenant chapter 45 . 3/31/2020
This is probably a very late review.
However...

I love this, it is absolutely amazing. I especially liked Chapter 35, where Issamir said, "Serpents can be good or evil." To me, speaking as a person from Slytherin House, this just goes to show that, like our emblem, we can be good or evil. All that matters is our choices.

Again, amazing. :)
A 29yr old doc chapter 45 . 1/4/2020
29 yrs old and for some reason the name Gabilian came to my mind a few days ago. Randomly, from some deep part of my brain. A memory from almost 12 yrs ago...a memory of a wonderful book that I read in anticipation of the last and final book in the Harry Potter series.
To give respect to that beautiful memory, and to rediscover why your book left such a profound impression in my brain, I decided to read it again. 12 yrs later. A lot has happened since then - 12 yrs of education, a lot of life experiences and hopefully some measure of maturity. However one thing did not change - how wonderfully written I found your book to be. Wherever you are, I hope you have done well Gabilian. I hope you have had success in the field of your choosing. If it is in literature, I would love to find out more and if it isn't in literature, then know this much - you will be remembered by several of us who had the pleasure of reading your book.
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