|Reviews for Outpost 31|
| Sergeant Daniel chapter 3 . 1/19/2010
Hey, why have you stop this was a great fic Update.
| Maverick1986 chapter 1 . 9/15/2009
John Carpenter’s The Thing is one of the greatest horror/science fiction movies ever made so it’s nice to be able to read a fanfic about it. Let me applaud you for keeping R.J. MacReady in character and for starting your story off right were the movie ends. I thought that this was a great way to open your story.
In general I think that you have written a good story, but with a few edits it could be even better. One of the edits I highly recommend is spell checking your story in Microsoft word to catch all the misspelled words and typos. Here’s a list of some of those misspelled words/typos:
Also there were two places in the story where changing the word choices that you made would help the story flow better.
"Nauls!" I shouted, my voice barley hearable to myself.
It would flow better if you substituted the word hearable with audible.
My track of thought was disterved by a loud crash down the steps behind me.
It would flow better if you substituted track with train.
Hopefully you will find my review useful.
| Lucky Me Stories chapter 3 . 8/1/2009
this stroy is freaking awesome, please don't stop writting. continue on, im hooked. peace.
| Caellach chapter 3 . 6/12/2007
Ah, sorry about the delay. Finals start early and end late here at my school, so my attention was diverted. School's out, though, so I'll be around more often.
I'm more and more beginning to love the titles you give each Chapter. They're gripping but don't give away very much. As a regular reader it doesn't make much of a difference to me personally, but you're on the right direction to gaining new readers.
Heh, MacReady's reaction to losing the whiskey was great.
So it looks like Childs was a Thing. Or if he wasn't, he is now. I don't know, exactly. It's possible the Norweigan was a Thing, even, and it just sucked Childs in along with everything else. Who knows? I am eager to see an explanation.
MacReady's choice at the end was also understandable. The poor man was stuck between a rock and a hard place; freeze or be torn to shreds. Neither option's very appealing, but at least he has a better chance of surviving by running away. His choice may have doomed him, but you made it clear that he had little other choice. Well done.
And lastly, a hearty laugh goes out to: "By now it had recived a boot and a norwigeans face, so it was rocking on its hinges."
| Jayme F. Midorikawa chapter 3 . 5/28/2007
Aw man, this story is awesome with a capital A. I love The Thing. It's one of my all time favorite movies, and I always wondered what would happen if the story continued. Please update this. But you might want to Spellcheck once in a while, but you don't have to if you don't want to.
| Caellach chapter 2 . 5/1/2007
Good to see you continuing this.
Well, right from Nauls' disappearance, you had me hooked. Judging by the fact that he didn't stick around, it seems like he may be a Thing...Which is no good for MacReady and this Norweigan fellow.
Also, excluding Nauls, a rescue team is about the best choice for a new character at this part of the story. Great idea.
What I'm liking about this Fic so far is your style. There are little bits of the story here and there that just make me smile. Examples:
"Now what, bludgen it to death with the hilt?"
"But im ranting. A tell-tale sign of insanity you know?"
"It was evident it, was actualy a man. What he said though, I didnt have a fucking clue."
These are lines where your writing style and MacReady's personality meshed together perfectly. And that's important in a story, I think. It's important to keep MacReady in character, but without a unique and interesting writing style, it doesn't make a difference. This certainly isn't case with you though, Crimsonbreath. And that's usually a problem a lot of writers have, balancing artistic flair and character. So congrats to you for being so good at that.
One small bit of advice, and you don't have to take it if you don't want to. But if you have Microsoft Word, a quick Spell-Check would probably be helpful for you. Everyone makes mistakes with spelling and grammar, and Microsoft Word helps you catch stuff you may have missed or might not have even noticed. Just a suggestion; it's your story, you can do whatever you want with it.
Looking forward to the next Chapter :) Keep writing, and I'll keep reading. Don't rush, though, nothing ruins a good story like not putting in the right amount of effort.
| Caellach chapter 1 . 4/9/2007
I was a bit surprised when I saw The Thing with such a low amount of FanFics. This is a great movie, everyone agrees, and with a lot of potential for FanFics.
Anyhow, this is the most obvious, but not the worst, way of making a ThingFic; continuing where it left off. Not a problem, necessarily, just noting.
What I liked about this FanFic:
- Your observation that Nauls never truly died; he just walked off screen and we assume he dies. A logical assumption, but not a full-proof one. And here you are, feeding that possibility that he did live and was infected. Smart, quite smart.
- MacReady's little stash of things. A good idea, and a sensical one too. All the things in there were things I would expect MacReady to have, honestly, even the knife. While I don't think watching The Stranglers should be anywhere on his priorities list at this point, that was a good and reasonable idea.
The biggest suggestion I can make to you is to separate thought from perspective. To quote your own work: "Great MacReady, great, now what."...This would be a thought, and I'd suggest putting this and others like it in apostrophes or quotation marks or Italics or something to signify that it's a part of MacReady's thought process. Perspective is mainly stuff like this: "I looked at the few tapes I had in my stash, a lot of Stranglers stuff mainly." This is just how MacReady's seeing the world, and it doesn't need anything like thoughts do. I could see the difference, but it looks neater to separate the two noticeably.
Overall, I'd say this is an idea worth continuing. You ended with an effective cliffhanger and gave some insight into MacReady's post-termination thought process, which I liked. Childs is dead, so I'd like to see how MacReady does on his own, especially with this movement you mentioned. This is a pretty good Fic, and I'll check back on it in hopes you've updated it :)