|Reviews for Our Bodies Fall|
| Silver Sandals chapter 1 . 1/24/2010
This is beautiful and brilliant, especially since I was looking for Partridge-centered fic and not particularly expecting to find any, particularly any as wonderful as this. You have done full justice to the character, and gone far beyond the somewhat silly but interesting movie. I must ask, though- is the hint of slash all wishful thinking on my part? ;)
| Phoenix.G.Fawkes chapter 1 . 7/8/2009
Interesting take on Patridge's past and how he came to be in touch with the Resistance. I'd never thought the Resistance would have people infiltrated in the Medical facilities, but it makes a lot of sense.
By the way, is Irene Deckard named thus after the novel of Philip Dick? There was a character with a very similar name in that novel who also had emotional trouble to adjust.
| Angel-of-the-silence chapter 1 . 12/20/2008
Welcome to the revolution, indeed. I like this very much, giving Partridge a story line of his own (can you tell this is the first Equilibrium fic I've ever read?) But I think this was very well thought out, and phrased within a certain "syntax" which is in keeping with the movie.
| Mercury Gray chapter 1 . 10/26/2008
Very nifty, well written story - you've managed to capture that lifeless, stark attitude with your words and structure, and maintained the feeling through the story. I like the idea that that's how Mary and Partridge met - it seems like a very real opportunity, and explains how a Cleric, of all people, the best conditioned, would become a sense-offender. There were a few mistakes in this piece, You're for the possessive your in the line "Your reflexes are off" but other than that, an excellently imagined fic. Good Job!
| InactiveNotUsed chapter 1 . 6/25/2007
I am surprised that this story has not been reviewed more than it has. Well, no - scratch that. I am not surprised, merely disappointed.
This is a thoroughly EXCELLENT story and - while I disagree with the author's use of the notion that Partridge came "unwillingly (whatever that might mean in a society where volition is supressed) - this is wonderfully done, and I may, in fact, be "inspired" by a number of points in here if and when I write an Equilibrium fic.
Anyway, to the review proper!
The language used is very good indeed; this is a tautly written story and does not suffer from the flabbiness which many other fanfics do. It is also detailed and contains very good descriptions.
The references to the history of Libria et al fall into what I call the "Robert A Heinlein School of Writing" - they all assume a knowledge of what has happened before, as if the story is written for people in Libria. Touches such as "the Reformation" are lovely (as a Catholic, I do like calling the transition from the artistic and emotional society to the Librian one "the Reformation"! If only we called the Revolution "the Revial"!)
The use of the word "Hate!" as a swear word is an interesting touch, and one I like a great deal. The mirroring of the events in the movie (the sword-fight) is a good one too; the whole of the original movie can be argued to be mirroring earlier sections, or mirrored in later ones (together with the repeated dialogue used by Preston, after Partridge).
I presume, at least that was the impression I was getting, that the rat carries some disease or other pathogen / chemical which inhibits Prozium? Otherwise, why does Partridge begin to "slip"? Unless there really ARE people who develop a natural immunity to Prozium. In any case, the fact that the room smells and that Mary smells seem to show a connection.
Has Deckard been working on some disease that can be spread across Libria by rats which will help the Revolution? Or am I thinking about this too much? :)
The notion of O'Brien giving Partridge the pills which cause him to not be effected by Prozium is inspired, although not perhaps something that I would have considered to be the best idea in order to preserve his heroism in the eyes of the reader. We want to have a hero who rejects the control on his own, not through the machinations of some external force. Of course, that is all but impossible (Preston only rejects it when he drops his interval). And perhaps that is just what *I* want from a hero . . . .
The description of Mary - gradually becoming more sensual as the time goes on, moving from the eyes as abnormal, to the halo of hair (metaphor, rather than literal) to the physical reaction to her beauty (and him still being disgusted by that!) is fantastic, and does ask the question; "What precisely *would* the reaction be to having emotions if you have been told they are hideous from birth?"
This is a very good story, and I am glad I came across it. Should I ever get around to putting my Equilibrium fic down on paper, I will certainly be inspired by this.
| n00bshoes chapter 1 . 4/20/2007
| Darlian chapter 1 . 3/21/2007
"'Hate!' he swore again as the thing he'd caught by the tail sank its teeth into his hand."
Fascinating, well-thought-out backstory for Partridge. I especially liked the little references to sense-crime; how "hate" is a swearword and the 'costume' that is "Pre-Reformation."
Keep up the amazing work... perhaps you'd be willing to do an epilogue for the film as well - what happens after the events of Equilibrium transpire? Thanks for sharing!